No use for a name Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 My last relationship lasted 7 years and I haven't really dated for about a year now. I've finally decided that maybe now is a good time to jump back into the dating scene. Now I will be the first to admit I'm not the smoothest when it comes to women...but lets face it...I've been out of the game for some time now. Anyway, I have been going to lunch at this small local place for months now and I find the girl behind the counter extremely attractive. She always seemed very friendly and the woman who works with her always makes strange comments that made me and my co-workers think that this girl may have some romantic interest in me. Well, after a few weeks of one of my buddies harping on me to ask her out I finally got the chance to do so. I happened to be alone this one afternoon and the place was relatively desolate. She came out from behind to the counter a few times into the eating area to do various tasks such as filling all the napkin holders...which might I add, were full. At that point I started making small talk with her. I mentioned that I had noticed that she wasn't in yesterday and joked about her finally getting a day off. She laughed and replied with the fact that she had noticed that I had the previous day off...seeing as I go in there every day. Shortly after that she went back into the kitchen area and then brought out her lunch and sat directly across from at the next booth over. At this point we had a pretty in depth conversation about our hobbies and such things. She asked me lots of questions...like what city I lived in...what I did for work...and things of that nature. We had a good half hour conversation and I learned a lot about her in that period. I did learn that she works like 12 hour days 6 days a week at that one particular place and that she did 15 hours at another place and was putting herself through college. Now I guess this is where I get confused. It could be the fact that I just read signals wrong. As I was getting up to leave to head back to the office I thought for sure there was some interest there and I figure what the hell...so I said...I understand that you are incredibly busy but if you ever get some free time would you be interested in going out some time. She replied with...I don't know. I told her I understood,(even though I really didn't) and that I would see her tomorrow. I said this all with a smile on my face to let her know there were no hard feelings. As I was walking toward the door she said that we would have to talk. Now, usually I would assume that some one saying "I don't know" really means "no" but they didn't want to hurt your feelings. But, at our age I would think that she would really just politely say No if she meant no. So to make a long story short...too late...do you think that this girl meant NO, I'm not interested, or that she really meant I don't know because I'm crazy busy all the time. I appreciate any advice any one can offer on this subject. I'm terrible at reading women. Oh, I've been in there 2 times since then and she still seems very friendly but there hasn't been any mention of the who thing.
D-Lish Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 I'd say that's really weird behaviour. To give you those signals and then respons like that is strange indeed. Perhaps she is seeing someone, or maybe she has some other reason for putting off a solid answer. So, she said "we have to talk" as you were leaving? As if she had to tell you something before she could go on a date with you?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 My last relationship lasted 7 years and I haven't really dated for about a year now. I've finally decided that maybe now is a good time to jump back into the dating scene. Now I will be the first to admit I'm not the smoothest when it comes to women...but lets face it...I've been out of the game for some time now. Anyway, I have been going to lunch at this small local place for months now and I find the girl behind the counter extremely attractive. She always seemed very friendly and the woman who works with her always makes strange comments that made me and my co-workers think that this girl may have some romantic interest in me. Well, after a few weeks of one of my buddies harping on me to ask her out I finally got the chance to do so. I happened to be alone this one afternoon and the place was relatively desolate. She came out from behind to the counter a few times into the eating area to do various tasks such as filling all the napkin holders...which might I add, were full. At that point I started making small talk with her. I mentioned that I had noticed that she wasn't in yesterday and joked about her finally getting a day off. She laughed and replied with the fact that she had noticed that I had the previous day off...seeing as I go in there every day. Shortly after that she went back into the kitchen area and then brought out her lunch and sat directly across from at the next booth over. At this point we had a pretty in depth conversation about our hobbies and such things. She asked me lots of questions...like what city I lived in...what I did for work...and things of that nature. We had a good half hour conversation and I learned a lot about her in that period. I did learn that she works like 12 hour days 6 days a week at that one particular place and that she did 15 hours at another place and was putting herself through college. Now I guess this is where I get confused. It could be the fact that I just read signals wrong. As I was getting up to leave to head back to the office I thought for sure there was some interest there and I figure what the hell...so I said...I understand that you are incredibly busy but if you ever get some free time would you be interested in going out some time. She replied with...I don't know. I told her I understood,(even though I really didn't) and that I would see her tomorrow. I said this all with a smile on my face to let her know there were no hard feelings. As I was walking toward the door she said that we would have to talk. Now, usually I would assume that some one saying "I don't know" really means "no" but they didn't want to hurt your feelings. But, at our age I would think that she would really just politely say No if she meant no. So to make a long story short...too late...do you think that this girl meant NO, I'm not interested, or that she really meant I don't know because I'm crazy busy all the time. I appreciate any advice any one can offer on this subject. I'm terrible at reading women. Oh, I've been in there 2 times since then and she still seems very friendly but there hasn't been any mention of the who thing. Wow that sounded so awkward. But when you guys were having that long conversation with each other, you mentioned that she showed alot of interest into knowing your background, and she was very open with hers when you asked. So I guess that she does seemed interested, but might be a little too busy to accomodate dating what with college and working.
Author No use for a name Posted February 26, 2008 Author Posted February 26, 2008 I'd say that's really weird behaviour. To give you those signals and then respons like that is strange indeed. Perhaps she is seeing someone, or maybe she has some other reason for putting off a solid answer. So, she said "we have to talk" as you were leaving? As if she had to tell you something before she could go on a date with you? Yeah I'm not really sure what that meant. I have seen her since then and she hasn't mentioned anything. Then again, I was with a co-worker.
D-Lish Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 It is weird to give you mixed signals like that. I wouldn't act like that toward a guy if I didn't have intentions... Is it awkward now when you see her?
Author No use for a name Posted February 26, 2008 Author Posted February 26, 2008 Nope. It doesn't seem awkward at all. As a matter of fact my co-worker said she seems even more friendly. I kind of felt that way too...like it is more personal now. I guess that would be the case since we shared some personal info with each other.
Legend Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Next time you see her, ask her when she'd like to "talk"
Author No use for a name Posted February 26, 2008 Author Posted February 26, 2008 Next time you see her, ask her when she'd like to "talk" Heh, good call Legend. I was thinking about this myself but didn't want to push the issue too much. Figured I'd give it a little time and see how things panned out.
Legend Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Time is what causes the initial attraction to fade. You have 48 hrs from the time you asked her out.
Author No use for a name Posted February 26, 2008 Author Posted February 26, 2008 Hah...I'm screwed then.
Legend Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Not screwed. just less of a chance, because now she's gonna think she blew it hell, on the next check leave your # and say something like you're ready to talk when she is.
Author No use for a name Posted February 26, 2008 Author Posted February 26, 2008 Yeah, I'm going to try going later in the day tomorrow. It is way less busy then and will give us a chance to talk again I'm sure. It simply could be the fact that she really is just too busy for a relationship. Thanks for all your advice guys.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Yeah, I'm going to try going later in the day tomorrow. It is way less busy then and will give us a chance to talk again I'm sure. It simply could be the fact that she really is just too busy for a relationship. Thanks for all your advice guys. Good luck. I'm sure she'll be receptive to you.
Author No use for a name Posted February 26, 2008 Author Posted February 26, 2008 Good luck. I'm sure she'll be receptive to you. Thanks, I hope so.
D-Lish Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 I like the idea of writing your number on the cheque. Maybe she has a child or something- who knows. She didn't say "NO" in the first place and gave you all the right signals otherwise. Go for it.
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