Far Behind Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Today I got an email from HIM saying he didn't know what the phone call on Friday (well, it was actually Thursday) was all about, but he was in a meeting at the time, and he hoped that whatever was wrong that I was feeling better. If you will recall, I had surgery on Thursday (not Friday) and as I was coming to from being under general anesthesia, my friend, who was also my nurse, called him because I insisted on it (though have absolutely no recall of doing it). She thought I was lucid and even though she thought she shouldn't, because I was so insistant about it, she called him. He ascertained that I was ok and then hung up on her because, he told her, he was in the above-mentioned meeting. I didn't hear from him all weekend. I have not responded to the email, and I guess there is really no point in doing so. He didn't ask a question, he merely stated that he hoped I was better or some such. I figure if he really wants to know how I am, he can contact me again. What do you all think?
sedgwick Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 I think you're right. You don't owe him a response.
Author Far Behind Posted February 26, 2008 Author Posted February 26, 2008 I just tried to edit to add I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel happy that he emailed, but I still don't think I'm in any hurry to respond, if at all. I think the next move still needs to be his.
superfox Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Hi, Personally I don't think he deserves to hear from you, because nothing can keep a person so busy not to contact someone they care about. Think if he got sick I bet you would contact him asap because that shows you care. This means he is just not that into you as Greg would say in that book "He's just not that into you" because nothing can keep a person busy to contact someone they care about. I think you need to ignore his email, and just act like you never got it, infact DELETE IT so you don't look at it, delete anything that exists of his. He doesn't deserve you. I just think he messaged you because he maybe felt he had to, but obviously does not care enough to ask how you are or to make a conversation. It will be hard, I know but this is the best thing you can do for your soul. Remember you are #1 not him, make yourself #1 and don't let his thoughts take power over you, let his thoughts have no bearing on who you are as a person. By the way how long have you guys been apart?
Author Far Behind Posted February 26, 2008 Author Posted February 26, 2008 We have been apart longer than we were actually together in this melodrama of ours. After a hugely intense beginning, we were apart 3 weeks, spent a night together, and have been apart again 3 weeks. He has got some emotional issues, to say the least. He doesn't fit the narcissist description, and I definitely don't think h e's a sociopath (I did plenty of research on both, lol). He is committment-phobic to be sure, but also scared of...something. I think it's my kids on some levels, though he knew going in they were part of the equation. As absurd as it sounds, I believe he does, or did, have real feelings for me, but his emotional issues are in the way.
btc8 Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 We have been apart longer than we were actually together in this melodrama of ours. After a hugely intense beginning, we were apart 3 weeks, spent a night together, and have been apart again 3 weeks. He has got some emotional issues, to say the least. He doesn't fit the narcissist description, and I definitely don't think h e's a sociopath (I did plenty of research on both, lol). He is committment-phobic to be sure, but also scared of...something. I think it's my kids on some levels, though he knew going in they were part of the equation. As absurd as it sounds, I believe he does, or did, have real feelings for me, but his emotional issues are in the way. Perhaps he could be classified as the 'ambivalent man?'
2sunny Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 We have been apart longer than we were actually together in this melodrama of ours. After a hugely intense beginning, we were apart 3 weeks, spent a night together, and have been apart again 3 weeks. He has got some emotional issues, to say the least. He doesn't fit the narcissist description, and I definitely don't think h e's a sociopath (I did plenty of research on both, lol). He is committment-phobic to be sure, but also scared of...something. I think it's my kids on some levels, though he knew going in they were part of the equation. As absurd as it sounds, I believe he does, or did, have real feelings for me, but his emotional issues are in the way. FB - i haven't read all your history - but are you absolutely sure he isn't married? his disappearing act seems to fit a MM.
sedgwick Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Wait, so you've only actually seen this guy twice?
norajane Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 I think he wasn't planning on contacting you at all, except your friend/nurse called him on your behalf, so he felt obligated to send you the email. Whatever is going on between you, I don't think you need to contact him. He's not exactly beside himself with worry. You might send him an email explaining what your friend's call was about, but otherwise, forget him.
Author Far Behind Posted February 27, 2008 Author Posted February 27, 2008 Wait, so you've only actually seen this guy twice? No, I didn't say I had only seen him twice. I said I had been seeing him for not that long of a time before he bailed the first time, but it was very very intense, with talks of (initiated by him) our living together and one day getting married. Believe me, I know how dumb it sounds, I really do. As to being married, I'm certain that he isn't. Ambivalent man? That certainly fits. I'm in no real hurry to respond back. Thanks for your comments!
Author Far Behind Posted March 1, 2008 Author Posted March 1, 2008 Last night I decided to reply to that email I got on Monday. Initially, I was going to write something along the lines of "Thank you for your recent inquiry as to the status of my health. I had surgery; I'm fine." Then I decided I didn't want to go the smart-ass route and I don't want to burn bridges. So I sat down and composed an email that questioned why he did what he did, because I have never gotten an answer, and of course I probably never will. Anyway, I sent it aol to aol, so I could tell if/when he read it. I could also unsend it if I chose to do that. Well, I knew that he had been on myspace already today (yeah, I know I need to quit looking, and we can't even see each other's profiles anymore since I deleted him in January), so I knew he had to have seen my email in his aol in-box. Since he hadn't read it, I decided to unsend it. I know that any contact just has to come from him, and then it will be up to me as to how to handle it. Nothing has ever effected me the way this has, and I want so much to move forward and I just can't seem to stop thinking about him. My birthday is in 2 weeks; we had discussed going to either Vegas or New York for my birthday, so I keep thinking about how that isn't going to happen. Today I have to take my daughter to her friend's house, and she is in the same neighborhood where he lives, and I haven't been out that way since the last time I saw him. In fact I need to drive right past his complex. I am taking my other daughter with me so there will be absoultely now temptation to drive in there or to go to a bar where I know he could possibly be. I also get so annoyed at myself when I think of how little time we actually were together (a month, and then one night a few weeks later) compared to the length of time so many of you have been in REAL relationships, although the bottom line is that when this was happeneing it felt real.
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