Balthazar Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Greetings to all! I threw a party a few weeks ago, and I invited a young lady to the party(Natasha) who works with me. Natasha is about 21 years old, and she has been working with me since last year. We have a good working relationship, and I have offered her advice from time to time as I am older(37), and more experienced in our line of work. In Fact, we sometimes go out for a quick cup of coffee, and I offer her advice on work issues. Early this year, it came up during one of our discussions that Natasha is originally from the same area as my mother, and in fact, we are very distant relatives(4th cousins or so). I also found out she has a sister who is 28 years old. Anyway, when I invited Natasha to the party, I also told her to bring her sister along as I would like to meet her. At the party, Natasha shows up with her sister(her name is Vicky) and two other young ladies. I notice immediately that Natasha's sister is a very attractive lady and she was quite friendly and full of smiles. We talked a bit with Vicky, but I was the host of the party and had many guests to speak with, so I couldn't give Vicky much attention. Natasha, Vicky and their two lady friends left at around 1 o'clock, stating that they had to visit another friend who was also throwing a party that night. A few weeks later, I invite Natasha to a live concert and tell her to invite her sister Vicky too. Natasha tells me that she can't come due to exams at the university, but her sister may be able to come. I then ask her for Vicky's number, saying that I would like to invite her personally. Unfortunately, we were in the middle of a break, and had to get back to work. However, days passed, and she didn't offer up her sister's cell phone number. A few days later, I am having a cup of coffee with Natasha, and I ask her what happened with her sister and the number. She replied that her sister couldn't come to the concert as she had gone on a weekend trip. We discuss her sister Vicky a bit, but Natasha tells me that she and her sister do not hang out together much, and that they have different interests. In general, she gives me the impression that she is not on the best of terms with her sister. Later in out discussion, I tell her that I find her sister an interesting and lively person and would like to ask her out. Natasha replies that her sister is in a relationship, but she seems to very uneasy taking about the matter and seems to offer me very little in the way of information. In fact, she was very tight-lipped about her sister and her sister's relationship. The way I see it, there are 3 scenarios. 1. Natasha's sister Vicky is in a relationship and is unavailable(as Natasha stated) 2. Vicky is not in a relationship, but Natasha does not want us to hook up, for reasons of her own(jealous of sis?). 3. Vicky is not in a relationship but is not interested in me (she met me at the party and formed her opinion there; the sisters then talked about this matter). I would appreciate members' opinions on this matter and how I should proceed. I have Natasha's home number, and she and her sister live with their parents. I could call at a time I know Natasha is not home and ask Vicky out myself, but this would show I do not trust Natasha. On the other hand, I believe Vicky showed interest at the party and Natasha may be a wee bit jealous. How do you think I should proceed? Thanks in advance for all replies
Replicant Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I think it's scenario #2. I think she's jealous and trying to sabotage things. This kind of leaves you in a bad spot using the younger sister as the go between, especially if there is friction between the two of them. You definitely blew your best chance at the party to get her phone number, so now going this route you'll be left with this drama. I don't get the impression you are wanting to date your way up the family tree starting with the 21 year old So unless you can cross paths with the older sister or find out contact info through someone else, it might be best just to let this one be.
Trimmer Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 (edited) Call Vicky, and say "hey, I didn't think it was fair to keep communicating with you through Natasha, so I thought it only honorable/polite to make an invitation personally..." Here, you acknowledge what she might be aware of (that Natasha has already spoken to you about it) but you kind of defuse the "don't trust Natasha" issue by making it about you trying to be polite or whatever. That way, everything's out in the open without creating a deception, and you'll get the story directly from the source. Edit to add: So unless you can cross paths with the older sister or find out contact info through someone else, it might be best just to let this one be. He does have their home phone, as the two sisters live together... Although it would be ideal if you just happened to run into Vicky, so there wouldn't be any issue of a phone message getting intercepted, or something... Edited February 26, 2008 by Trimmer
Author Balthazar Posted February 27, 2008 Author Posted February 27, 2008 Thanks Trimmer and Replicant for your replies. Trimmer, I think that is what I'll do . Just call at home and tell Vicky what you recommend. Sounds like a good idea, and can be justified as being polite. Concerning Natasha, she is an attractive woman, but I get the feeling her older sister Vicky gets a lot more attention. This could result in feelings of jealousy, even though they are sisters. Thanks for both our replies, any new advice is always welcome!
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