ohgirl Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 My husband was out with friends and gave his cell number to a girl. She texted the next day and I got the text. I found out he gave his number and didn't say he was married. I am so broken and don't know how to react. Help, is this cheating?
Elena62 Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 My husband was out with friends and gave his cell number to a girl. She texted the next day and I got the text. I found out he gave his number and didn't say he was married. I am so broken and don't know how to react. Help, is this cheating? IMO? Yes it IS cheating. He's married, to you, and therefore committed to a relationship with you so he shouldn't be: 1) Giving out his cell phone number to easy lays. 2) Not giving out his marital status. I would take note of her telephone number and store it away. Then I would talk to him and tell him how upset I was and how this behaviour was totally unacceptable. I've been in this position myself, and I got the number and stored it. After I found out that he contacted the girl several times, I called her myself and told her to back off otherwise she would be dealing with me in a legal manner! She backed off! This is not just about what he's done, but it's also about recognising the boundaries that are acceptable to both of you within your marriage. Get help with this before it's too late! Hang in there He may just be going through a "difficult stage" talk to him and work it all out!
Jess-Belle Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I agree, what he did is crossing the line. And especially not mentioning he is married -- when someone is careful not to mention a significant other or a spouse, something is afoot. I've seen proof of this.
jj2007 Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 My husband was out with friends and gave his cell number to a girl. She texted the next day and I got the text. I found out he gave his number and didn't say he was married. I am so broken and don't know how to react. Help, is this cheating? Not yet. But it could happen. You two need to sit down and talk about this and about the boundaries that I would say he knows he has already crossed. Good luck. Sit down with him and communicate now. Before it's too late and he's already went even further across the line.
LakesideDream Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 Hey everything is cheating. Having "inappropriate thoughts" is cheating. Looking at porn is cheating, Why not texting? Regardless of how you wish to label this, (and thus frame it in your mind) Your husband has stepped over the line. If you want to continue being married, you need to come to the understanding via whatever means that this is unacceptable behavior.
trifecta Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Obviously you're upset about this-cheating or not or about to, only your husband can honestly answer that. Since this is very important to you-it means it is very important to your marriage. Arrange a time to meet with your husband to discuss your concerns, express your feelings, lots of "I" statements and outline your boundaries. and take no crap..ie statements like...aaaww it was nothing...I drank too much...it was harmless fun... your making it out to be something...et cetera. Stand your ground and send a firm message that this behaviour won't be tolerated. If this is the first time anything like this has happened-still don't sweep it under the carpet-look together for ways to protect your marriage from outside influences, there are many commmunity services available, counsellors even books and web sites. TriMax
D-Lish Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 It's something I myself would consider reprehensible. If it were me I know I'd confront him as he comes through the door, while I have my bags packed to go to my parents for a couple days so I can cool off and figure out if it's forgiveable.
Green Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 he might have been drunk, its pretty bad, but I wouldn't necesarily say the end of the world if all he did was give his number out. If he loves you and you love him I think you can work through this and forgive and forget
carhill Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 My husband was out with friends and gave his cell number to a girl. She texted the next day and I got the text. I found out he gave his number and didn't say he was married. I am so broken and don't know how to react. Help, is this cheating? OP, does your husband wear a wedding ring? I do, and never announce my marital status to people I talk to. My female friends taught me years ago that women look for such things when meeting a strange man. What was the content of the text message? And, yes, shockers, I give out my cell number to men and women. It's called business
Green Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 OP, does your husband wear a wedding ring? I do, and never announce my marital status to people I talk to. My female friends taught me years ago that women look for such things when meeting a strange man. What was the content of the text message? And, yes, shockers, I give out my cell number to men and women. It's called business I actualy suprisingly have made business contacts in a bar before but this doenst sound like that
D-Lish Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 OP, does your husband wear a wedding ring? I do, and never announce my marital status to people I talk to. My female friends taught me years ago that women look for such things when meeting a strange man. What was the content of the text message? And, yes, shockers, I give out my cell number to men and women. It's called business I look for a ring- the first thing I do, and then I move on if I see one. But he was out with friends presumably at a bar... That's not business.... well it's not the good kind of business.
SoStupid Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 This is Cheating for sure! Like D-Lish said bar-business.. Yea I dont think so!!! I would be confronting him ASAP! Good Luck to you hun!
carhill Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Going out with friends/business colleagues is how I network. I can't speak for the OP's husband. I work in a blue collar world so, yeah, bars are a part of social life, not that I like them that much. You never know who is going to get your card. My cell phone number is on my business card. I talk to lots of women when I travel (which I do for fun). I help them learn the ins and outs of frequent flying. I go home to my wife. Life goes on. Hope the OP isn't a hit and run poster. Hate that
RecordProducer Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 My husband was out with friends and gave his cell number to a girl. She texted the next day and I got the text. I found out he gave his number and didn't say he was married. I am so broken and don't know how to react. Help, is this cheating? Technically it's not cheating. He gave her his cell number, that's all. We don't know why and we don't know why he didn't mention he was married. Maybe he didn't think that she would ever really contact him. Maybe he promised to help her with something and didn't think it was necessary to inform her that he was married. It's hard to speculate since you didn't say what exactly she wrote. You need to discuss this with him and think about how much you (can) trust him and how good your marriage is overall. If he is a trustworthy man and your marriage is good, it will be easy. If not, you have bigger problems than this text message.
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