mat56 Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Alright this is more of just being curious then anything. My boyfriend, who is 21, was talking to his cousin the other day (via text, of course) and his cousin said to him "So when are you two getting married?" and my boyfriend said "Never". He then looked at me and said "If you ever wanted to get married you picked the wrong guy. Maybe when Im 40 we will get married." Now I can understand him not wanting to get married right now, but do you think that he will change his mind. And why not get married? If hes planning on being with me that long then whats the difference? Either way it doesnt change the way I feel about him but seriously whats up with that?
Angels&Airwaves Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 There are people who see marriage as a superficial bi-product of ‘love’ like Valentines Day, for example. I’m one of these people, because all of the weddings I have been to have been overly zealous in appearance and that often portrayed the ceremony as being a materialistic spectacle where people could don a fancy suit, get drunk and collapse into their slice of wedding cake. And there’s the fact that people shell out a small fortune (£15k - £50k) on a wedding and then the marriage ends after a few years, for whatever reason. It seems as though weddings are overly priced for a relationship that ends after a few years (as current trends would have me believe). Another good point is that the guy 21, he is still young, why would he want to sign his freedoms away when he can go out and get hammered off his nut every Friday night? He isn’t ready for this commitment yet and I don’t believe you should be discussing marriage with a guy that’s 21; it’s a scary thought, really. Who knows in a few years he might feel differently, enjoy what you have, marriage is little more than a ring on your finger and certificate offering congratulations for being united inside the house of God.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Either he doesn't want to get married, or he is open to marriage - just not with you. Either way, I hope you aren't pinning your hopes on marrying this guy. I don't see that happening in your case. Go back and review your posts from the beginning. He has passively been on the way out now for nearly a year - including breaking up with you and cheating on you. I'm not certain why you would want to marry him based on what you've posted in the past.
Legend Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Keep pushing the subject. That'll really make him want to. And women wonder why guys are 'afraid' of commitment. We just want an easy out if you do something to piss us off. Not have our entire earnings robbed during a terrible devoice settlement.
SoleMate Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 When your bf says he is not planning to give you what you want, take him seriously. I recommend that you don't ever even THINK about marriage unless he is every bit as eager as you, preferably more so. And if he's cheating on you....not good marriage material! Also, 21 is very young. Why are you trying to get tied down now? It makes more sense to develop your career, earning power, financial stability etc.
Author mat56 Posted February 26, 2008 Author Posted February 26, 2008 Eh I probably should have clarified. 1- I have never once brought up marrying him. When it has been brought up, it has been by him. 2- I dont want to get married right now, I cant even imagine being married anytime soon. It was more of in the future, if we are still together, would he want to get married. 3- He is not the same guy from past posts, though unfortunetly he is the one from the cheating post. We havent even been dating that terribly long. Sorry about that!
AriaIncognito Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 I can agree with the previous poster that said if he's saying he won't marry you, believe him. I wasted 18 months with a guy that told me we couldn't be together for the long haul (due to religion at first, then not sure what after that) and I chose to believe that him being with me meant he'd get over it. Well, he did get over it, but going to another girl once he lined her up. Be cautious, it doesn't sound like this will end how you want it to.
StrawberryLime Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 I wouldn't hold out hope for this guy, but the biggest thing is HE'S 21!!!! That's pretty much a kid, as far as most blokes are concerned. Of course he's not interested in getting married. However, if me meets the right woman, that may all change in a few years. Right now he's at the height of his party life, so marriage is naturally going to be the last thing on his mind.
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