hurtsimon Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 my wife of 18 years recently had a 3 month affair, i suspected this, and eventually confronted her with evidence and she admitted it. the relationship between her and the other man was not very physical, (i think they met no more than 6 times in 3 months, and only once overnight) but it was very emotional (hundreds and hundreds of text messages) now 7 weeks down the line, she is still with me, and is quite cold towards me. She is sorry for hurting me, but is not sorry she had an affair. i am trying hard to repair our relationship, but if i make a loving gesture (eg i left a heart shaped choclate in her car for her to find when she left for work) she gets annoyed and says i didnt do it before, so i shouldnt do it now. I love her very much, and maybe i am smothering her too much any advise?????
yama8017 Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I'm sorry for your story. Everything happends for a reason, so are affairs. But cheating is never right, no matter how someone want to justify it. If she wants someone else's attention, she should leave you first. A broken relationship can be fixed, but only if both parites are willing to work on it. Maybe you should have a talk with her, ask what she wants, let her know that you are putting effort into it and ask her if she wants to do the same. If she gives up, I think it would be better to just let go. --I know it is way much easier to say so.
Nomad1 Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Stop begging, pleading, buying presents etc. Remember, she is the one who cheated. The coldness is typical of cheaters. It is her defense mechanism against guilt. Do you really want to stay with this woman. She will never respect you. Toughen up man. You might not help how you feel about her right now, but what she did is unacceptable! Take care Nomad1
Meaplus3 Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 my wife of 18 years recently had a 3 month affair, i suspected this, and eventually confronted her with evidence and she admitted it. the relationship between her and the other man was not very physical, (i think they met no more than 6 times in 3 months, and only once overnight) but it was very emotional (hundreds and hundreds of text messages) now 7 weeks down the line, she is still with me, and is quite cold towards me. She is sorry for hurting me, but is not sorry she had an affair. i am trying hard to repair our relationship, but if i make a loving gesture (eg i left a heart shaped choclate in her car for her to find when she left for work) she gets annoyed and says i didnt do it before, so i shouldnt do it now. I love her very much, and maybe i am smothering her too much any advise????? Her behavior sound's typical after having an ea. She probably is cold.. due to all the guilt she has from cheating. Does she go to therapy? AP:)
Recommended Posts