chenazah Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Hi guys, im so confused at the moment! i dont know if me and my gf have broken up/taking a break/me taking a step back/over, i havent had no answers what so ever. Ive posted a few times now so will try to keep the reasons short. We were a couple 7 years ago for 1 1/2 years, when we split we did not stay in contact, the relationship was cut off by her ie no explanation..nothing (i never really got over her). We made contact 4 months ago, whereby she tells me: she moved to Spain, got married, has split from husband (for 1 year) and wants to get a divorce. One thing leads to another and we start to see each other and she decides to move back from Spain to London and we start being a couple ie planning things, going out having fun and loads of other stuff. This is all going great until she asks me to take a step back, i say take a step back to move forward slowly or to nothing....no answer? I know that she has issues with her husband and im not sure that: 1) she wants to be back with him 2) that they were in fact on a break themselves 3) needs time to forget about him I have done as she requested and not contacted her, taken a step back. I dont want to contact her as its putting pressure on her but i need to know: 1) are we still going on holiday in 3 weeks 2) still together 3) moving forward slowly i just need some answers basically BUT if i contact her then im doing the wrong thing? i just want to know where i stand because at the moment i havent got a clue. All i know is that i love her very much and that she means the world to me. To me and her family/friends if she doesnt move on from her past she is making the wrong decision (husband not a nice guy) but then i guess thats her decision. I keep telling myself that ive given her another chance, opened lots of doors for her, been positive and supportive and that if it does all go tits up then i can walk away with my dignity intact and my head held high knowing that ive done my best and thats theres not going to be a 3rd time. Now even writing that part gets to me because for all those years that she was not in my life there was always something in the back of my mind telling me that she would be back, so to me there was always hope. I know this time if it doesnt work out then i have to move on which scares me in a way, i do not have that hope anymore. Which brings me to the far away part - if it doesnt work out im thinking i may go away for 1/2 year or whatever to Australia, find myself a little, have some fun. Ive worked my ass off since i was 16 (run my own company) and just feel like ive had enough knocks in my life now to go away and get away from everybody thats hurt me. Or am i just running away?
pigeonsid Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Run away! I did when my ex left me. I immediately left the country and let him move out while I wasn't here. Even though it's been tough since I got home, I'm really glad that I took that time off. It gave me the space to do some healing on my own, and also I traveled by myself a little which reminded me of the person I used to be. It was a big thing to be independent again, and great to be traveling because there were lots of new things to distract me with. Being in a different environment also helps you see how quickly your life can change, and is a good prompter to get you thinking about what changes you want to make in your actual, real life. Hope this helps - maybe other people won't agree with this!
Author chenazah Posted February 25, 2008 Author Posted February 25, 2008 Hi, thanks for your comments. It does sound good getting away but only if it doesnt all work out. How would i go about trying to find the answers in the first place? i know i need to leave her alone for a while but this is my life/future as well. I need some answers but then it looks like im pressuring and probably drive her away. Just like i need to know if we are still going on holiday, if not then should i then get it into my head that we are no longer together? (to make it worse the tickets came through the post over the weekend) A little demon inside of me says to call and ask "whats going on, are we couple and moving into the future together, whats happening?" but then if i do will probably lose her forever....im just stuck between a rock and a hard place as on one hand i want to know but on the other am i just afraid? I dont want to contact her now only to find out if i would of left it a little while longer it would of been ok, but then to me if you know what you want you go and get it.
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