Touche Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 should we be worried? We should be very worried.
DanielMadr Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Okay, if you question yourself like that, it just proves how insecure you are. Why accomodate yourself to the opposite sex. Learn to love the traits that you already have. Yeah thats right. I'm a serial killer. Why should I accomodate myself to anybody? Evidently she is not pleased with herself. Yes. Not seeking of approval is one step out of insecurity. But pushing down some not so good traits and develop your inner being is just fine. Let the real you shine. (the real you is that one sitting in corner scared what might happen to it if it goes out of the door)
DanielMadr Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 I think the problem is that you're letting the men make all the moves. Sometimes the nicest men/boys are also too shy to introduce themselves to you and show an interest. Reason: They value your opinion highly and if you rejected them, it would be very painful. Whereas all the loser/player types are used to making multiple come-ons and getting rejected and really don't care how many girls/women turn them down, as long as they can get one to say YES occasionally, even if only for 20 minutes or so. ...another kind of losers.
DanielMadr Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 Not totally sure what you're asking... I know I --- whatever package of traits that may be (and yes, it is bookwormish, which I don't intend to change anytime soon) --- am at least SOMEWHAT attractive. I'm just curious as to what traits I'm missing that may attract those rarer specimens of semi-mature manhood... any suggestions? I suggested for you to look on yourself through eyes of others. Compare yourself to women you know or feel that would have attention of somewhat sane men. It is hard to describe 'being sexy'. Ive read a couple of tips on this theme but only one strike me as good. Pick yourself and remember your acts are based on who you are not other way around.http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Christine_Akiteng&o=date-d
Trialbyfire Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 This message next to that adorable little girl is disturbing to me. It's my inner child shining through. Overall, you can portray yourself as pretty much anything you want. Portraying yourself and actually making core changes, are two different concepts. Also, what you want and what you need are two different concepts. Learning to mesh everything into one cohesive person is the challenge we all have, even those of us in our thirties and older. In portraying yourself in a specific manner, you will attract specific personality types. If you want to attract the more conservative types, you'll have to portray yourself as being a little more conservative. It doesn't mean you have to quash the passion and fire under the more conservative exterior.
Angels&Airwaves Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 lol, your 18 seems to me your expectations are little high. What do you mean a little too high? Her expectations aren’t too high, or unreasonable, she knows what she wants and won’t settle for anything less, that’s an admirable trait in a person. I’m the same age as her and I have my own specific expectations with regards to what women I would date and what women I wouldn’t date, for example. This girl clears want to head places and wants a partner with ambition, and desire to better himself and go to respectable places, there’s nothing wrong with that, good luck to her.
mental_traveller Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 I do say no and walk away --- but I have no idea where to go to meet guys. Friends of friends, people you'd meet through social activities or hobbies, internet dating, or just out and about. Also, if you don't approach men you like, you can't really complain if you don't get approached by them. I'm not saying go up to random guys every day, but if one time you see someone you like, there's nothing saying you can't say hi and ask for directions or some other conversation starter, then show some interest and drop enough hints for him to ask for your number.
Author Sheclectica Posted February 29, 2008 Author Posted February 29, 2008 Wow. First off, I decided I was going to be proactive. I messaged this guy on this start-up dating site specifically for my school, and we're getting together next week. Obviously it's too soon to tell, but he seems like a really neat guy... so wish me luck, and thanks for reminding me to be more of a go-getter. And yes, lol, my expectations are high. I know what I want... I've just got to find the guys who will grow up into that, if they're not quite there now. How you dress and act will also attract different kinds of men. You can still be considered hot, if you dress more conservatively but throw in your own accessorized bits of sexy. Absolutely... and thanks for the example, lol... the ensuing conversation pretty much proved your point, I think... I suggested for you to look on yourself through eyes of others. Compare yourself to women you know or feel that would have attention of somewhat sane men. It is hard to describe 'being sexy'. Gotcha. THat makes sense. And now that I think about it, I am missing a few key elements... I'm generally confident, but I've been realizing lately that I come across as being very confident in a businesslike sense rather than a playful one, which can be a little intimidating. Heck, it's intimidating to me when other people are like that. And I'll check out the link --- thanks! Overall, you can portray yourself as pretty much anything you want. Portraying yourself and actually making core changes, are two different concepts. Also, what you want and what you need are two different concepts. Learning to mesh everything into one cohesive person is the challenge we all have, even those of us in our thirties and older. In portraying yourself in a specific manner, you will attract specific personality types. If you want to attract the more conservative types, you'll have to portray yourself as being a little more conservative. It doesn't mean you have to quash the passion and fire under the more conservative exterior. Very true --- thanks. I guess it is possible to change the presentation but still be the same underneath... but how do you do that without coming across as hypocritical? It's not hypocritical --- everyone has tons of different facets to their personalities and half the challenge of getting along in society is knowing which one to use at a funeral and which one for a birthday party --- but it can be hard to balance it all. Though, as you said, that's a lifelong process...
sb129 Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 What do you mean a little too high? Her expectations aren’t too high, or unreasonable, she knows what she wants and won’t settle for anything less, that’s an admirable trait in a person. I’m the same age as her and I have my own specific expectations with regards to what women I would date and what women I wouldn’t date, for example. This girl clears want to head places and wants a partner with ambition, and desire to better himself and go to respectable places, there’s nothing wrong with that, good luck to her. One wonders whether your expectations will be the same in ten years....
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