Sheclectica Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I've noticed lately that the guys that ask for my number are usually (not always, but usually) one or more of the following: 1) Drastic underachievers. Example: this guy was 21 but still living in his mom's basement, having his mom do his laundry, with no plans of changing anything in the near future, and he bragged about the fact, like it was some sort of skill to mooch off your parents. 2) Tacky. Gold-chains-and-big-belt-buckle-with-a-wifebeater kind of tacky. Or hey-check-out-my-car-and-my-phone-and-my-expensive-this-that-and-the-other tacky. 3) Personality-less. As soon as they like me, they lose themselves. They laugh at things AFTER I laugh at them. They express interest in things AFTER I express interest. They lose themselves as soon as they get involved in impressing me. This doesn't make sense. I'm fairly attractive --- you know, not gorgeous, not hideous, I'm okay with the way I look --- am a very high achiever, very confident, sociable, I try to be nice to people, and have a reputation for being intellectual and very... what's the word? Composed? Poised? I get compared to Audrey Hepburn a lot. Good posture and all that jazz. So why am I ending up with 26-year-old (I'm 18) gold-chain-wearing syncophants who live with their moms and have no interest in going to college or getting a job they actually care about? It can't be where I'm meeting these guys --- they're at school, church, and other places of fairly good repute... Why is this happening, and more importantly, how can I get it to STOP happening? I like the male attention, don't get me wrong... I just wish it were coming from people I could respect more...
Leia Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 other places of fairly good repute... Where other places would that be? Try A class places. It seems that you're... how did you put it... composed.. poised.. a very high achiever ~ don't you associate with socialites?
DanielMadr Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I've noticed lately that the guys that ask for my number are usually (not always, but usually) one or more of the following: 1) Drastic underachievers. Example: this guy was 21 but still living in his mom's basement, having his mom do his laundry, with no plans of changing anything in the near future, and he bragged about the fact, like it was some sort of skill to mooch off your parents. 2) Tacky. Gold-chains-and-big-belt-buckle-with-a-wifebeater kind of tacky. Or hey-check-out-my-car-and-my-phone-and-my-expensive-this-that-and-the-other tacky. 3) Personality-less. As soon as they like me, they lose themselves. They laugh at things AFTER I laugh at them. They express interest in things AFTER I express interest. They lose themselves as soon as they get involved in impressing me. This doesn't make sense. I'm fairly attractive --- you know, not gorgeous, not hideous, I'm okay with the way I look --- am a very high achiever, very confident, sociable, I try to be nice to people, and have a reputation for being intellectual and very... what's the word? Composed? Poised? I get compared to Audrey Hepburn a lot. Good posture and all that jazz. So why am I ending up with 26-year-old (I'm 18) gold-chain-wearing syncophants who live with their moms and have no interest in going to college or getting a job they actually care about? It can't be where I'm meeting these guys --- they're at school, church, and other places of fairly good repute... Why is this happening, and more importantly, how can I get it to STOP happening? I like the male attention, don't get me wrong... I just wish it were coming from people I could respect more... Reality Check... Most people are like that....cowards, machos or plain dumb. Your description of yourself is quite fine...for Woman of the Year Award presented by Asexual Men With Boobs Stoic Bookworm Commitee. Do you really see yourself in that way? Are you a girl or what? Do you think that box(type) you put yourself in is considered attractive or just another annoying type of box like you described? Audrey Hepburn my azz. No fun. Too complicated. Structured. Stubborn. Demanding. No spontaneity. No sexappeal. Not OK with her sexuality.
sb129 Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Why don't you just say no and don't give out your number?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 If you're upset by the same type of men that come your way, why do you continue to put yourself in that situation in the first place? Learn to say no, and walk away. And find a better place to meet guys.
Author Sheclectica Posted February 25, 2008 Author Posted February 25, 2008 I do say no and walk away --- but I have no idea where to go to meet guys. I go to a small college and live in a small town, and it seems that all of the non-sleazy guys who are a) not married, and b) not afraid to ask girls out are about one in a hundred and usually have girlfriends. Your description of yourself is quite fine...for Woman of the Year Award presented by Asexual Men With Boobs Stoic Bookworm Commitee. Hahahahaha... okay, you might have a point there... Do you think that box(type) you put yourself in is considered attractive or just another annoying type of box like you described? Not totally sure what you're asking... I know I --- whatever package of traits that may be (and yes, it is bookwormish, which I don't intend to change anytime soon) --- am at least SOMEWHAT attractive. I'm just curious as to what traits I'm missing that may attract those rarer specimens of semi-mature manhood... any suggestions?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I do say no and walk away --- but I have no idea where to go to meet guys. I go to a small college and live in a small town, and it seems that all of the non-sleazy guys who are a) not married, and b) not afraid to ask girls out are about one in a hundred and usually have girlfriends. Hahahahaha... okay, you might have a point there... Not totally sure what you're asking... I know I --- whatever package of traits that may be (and yes, it is bookwormish, which I don't intend to change anytime soon) --- am at least SOMEWHAT attractive. I'm just curious as to what traits I'm missing that may attract those rarer specimens of semi-mature manhood... any suggestions? Okay, if you question yourself like that, it just proves how insecure you are. Why accomodate yourself to the opposite sex. Learn to love the traits that you already have.
Leia Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Okay, if you question yourself like that, it just proves how insecure you are. Why accomodate yourself to the opposite sex. Learn to love the traits that you already have. Too true. The more you think about this... or over-analyze your traits... the more insecure you will be. I see that happening with my friends more often than not.
Jilly Bean Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Because those are the types of guys who usually ask EVERYONE out. They play the law of averages and figure if they hit on 1k women per day, one is bound to say yes...
Gold Pile Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 The kids in your age range are still so high minded as to think they're better than most. They have many years ahead of them and think they'll end up winners. The losers in the bunch won't know they are losers till age 35 or so. Not to mention an 18 year old girl is fresh meat and everyone (even losers) want your affections.
Angels&Airwaves Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Consider yourself lucky, I don’t even attract the ‘sleazy’ women, I repel women where-ever I go.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 (edited) The underachievers, and guys who wear gold chains are looking for love too. Now the only way they can do that is ask a girl for her number. Now, if you choose to say no, then you dont have to worry about dodging their phone calls. I think eveyone can relate to , a type that they seem to attract. Mine would have to be the older males. The old guys whos name is Rufus, Cleofus, Cletis.. hahahahah I dont think thees anything wrong with it, but I just dont date older males. Just continue ti weed out the ones you are not attracted to . Edited February 25, 2008 by EYECANDY000
carhill Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Tell me about the last 3 guys whose number you've asked for....
StarLily17 Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 The same thing used to happen to me, and I'm 23 now and it has not changed much. Especially if you act older than your age, sometimes you'll attract older men. In college the only real place to meet guys was in classes, school organizations or through college friends, to be honest. That's really the only way you'll meet men who you are more likely to date; especially if bars/clubs/partying isn't your thing (it isn't for me).
SoleMate Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I think the problem is that you're letting the men make all the moves. Sometimes the nicest men/boys are also too shy to introduce themselves to you and show an interest. Reason: They value your opinion highly and if you rejected them, it would be very painful. Whereas all the loser/player types are used to making multiple come-ons and getting rejected and really don't care how many girls/women turn them down, as long as they can get one to say YES occasionally, even if only for 20 minutes or so.
Author Sheclectica Posted February 26, 2008 Author Posted February 26, 2008 Okay, if you question yourself like that, it just proves how insecure you are. Why accomodate yourself to the opposite sex. Learn to love the traits that you already have. It's not a matter of accomodating, it's a matter of improving. I don't believe in the whole "accept yourself for who you are" thing. I've already DONE that, now I want to become a better self. I don't think life's about discovering yourself, I think it's about creating yourself. And if I can create a self I'm happy with that attracts men I'm happy with... well, I'm gonna do that. Because those are the types of guys who usually ask EVERYONE out. They play the law of averages and figure if they hit on 1k women per day, one is bound to say yes... Y'know, that's probably it... Not to mention an 18 year old girl is fresh meat and everyone (even losers) want your affections. Good point. The same thing used to happen to me, and I'm 23 now and it has not changed much. Especially if you act older than your age, sometimes you'll attract older men. In college the only real place to meet guys was in classes, school organizations or through college friends, to be honest. That's really the only way you'll meet men who you are more likely to date; especially if bars/clubs/partying isn't your thing (it isn't for me). Glad to know I'm not the only one in this situation... I'll keep my fingers crossed for both of us... I think the problem is that you're letting the men make all the moves. Sometimes the nicest men/boys are also too shy to introduce themselves to you and show an interest. Reason: They value your opinion highly and if you rejected them, it would be very painful. Whereas all the loser/player types are used to making multiple come-ons and getting rejected and really don't care how many girls/women turn them down, as long as they can get one to say YES occasionally, even if only for 20 minutes or so. Very, very true. I'll work on that...
Arch Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 lol, your 18 seems to me your expectations are little high.
Trialbyfire Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 How you dress and act will also attract different kinds of men. You can still be considered hot, if you dress more conservatively but throw in your own accessorized bits of sexy. For example, today, I wore a little black dress, cut very simply but with white polka dots and darker hose. The hose were thigh highs in silk, with very plain, stiletto, black business pumps. Sound strange, haha? It didn't look too bad. I wouldn't wear this to a business meeting...
johan Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 ...For example, today, I wore a little black dress, cut very simply but with white polka dots and darker hose. The hose were thigh highs in silk, with very plain, stiletto, black business pumps. Sound strange, haha? It didn't look too bad. Yeah. I uh...... um...
Touche Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 How you dress and act will also attract different kinds of men. You can still be considered hot, if you dress more conservatively but throw in your own accessorized bits of sexy. For example, today, I wore a little black dress, cut very simply but with white polka dots and darker hose. The hose were thigh highs in silk, with very plain, stiletto, black business pumps. Sound strange, haha? It didn't look too bad. I wouldn't wear this to a business meeting... What a tease!
Touche Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 I didn't have to wear it all day... This message next to that adorable little girl is disturbing to me.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 26, 2008 Posted February 26, 2008 This message next to that adorable little girl is disturbing to me. should we be worried?
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