crazieshnurple Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over eight months and we are incredibly happy. We are head over heels in love... we really "get" each other, can talk for hours about nothing, have great chemistry, families like each other, healthy sex life etc. etc... I am 17 and he just turned 19. I am a senior in high school and he is in his first year of college but is still living at home. About six months into our relationship we began to consider the idea of going to college together, because I have my heart setting on going to the west coast (we live in the midwest). We both applied to the same schools, and now we're waiting to see what happens with that. Some of my friends are happy for us and others think it's a horrible idea. We have an incredibly healthy relationship and I can see myself being with him for the rest of my life. However, I do recognize that I'm only seventeen and thus very naive and there is a small chance that our relationship will work out. We have discussed all the possibilites... everything from going and living together after our 2nd or 3rd year to the possibilty of breaking up. The schools that we're looking at all have great biology programs, and he is a biology major so it works very well for him whether or not we stayed together. I love the area so I will be happy there to. Anyways, I can't really imagine us ever breaking up but I know that things change and people change and it's always a possibility, however I also can't see myself living without him; he's my boyfriend and my best friend and everything to me. So basically I just need some opinions... has anyone ever attented college with a high school boyfriend/girlfriend? Do you think it's a good idea, bad idea, or just an idea? I just want something unbiased, from someone who doesn't judge us... (most of my friend are jealous of our relationship [they have admitted to this] and thus unsupportive... I am not very close with many of them. The few that I am really close with support our decision to try to attend school together)
StarLily17 Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I was in a similar situation at your age. My boyfriend at the time and I ended up going to different colleges. That wasn't working out for us, so at the end of my first year I transferred to the same school as him. We ended up breaking up,a nd spent the rest of college trying to sort things out, but in the end, it didn't work. Part of me wishes I had stayed at my other school, and the other part of me doesn't. What I will say though, is you really should put your educational goals first. If you and he are meant to be together, you will find a way to make it work. I wish you the best!
AdrianaLima Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 (edited) Well, it depends on the two of you if yall think that it's a bad idea to attend the same college or not. But I have a few college friends who are in a relationship with their spouse who attend the same college, and regret it. For the simple fact that they see one another every single day. But on the contrary, it could build yall relationship stronger. I don't think that it's a bad idea necesarily, but you will meet new people, if you know what I mean.But it depends on how you feel on the inside.What does your boyfriend think about it? Edited February 25, 2008 by AdrianaLima
xpaperxcutx Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 You are 17 after all, meaning you're still young, so I don't think that it's such a good idea to base your entire educational future around your current relationship with your boyfriend. Your main concern should be on the college that meets your requirements. I'm sure that if like you said, lthat your relationship is strong and healthy it should be able to survive the long distances and obstacles ahead. So its not something that should be considered lightly. Think on it.
Green Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 A good relationship is hard to find. I had a really good friend all through out HS, and that was part of the reason I went to the college I decided to go to. I ended up getting in a fight with this friend and things were never the same and I barely saw him at all my entire college career. If I were you, I would try to have my cake and eat it to. Get him to transfer to that west coast school you have your heart set on and don't live togather. You get a dorm and make friends that way, and he can get his own dorm or what ever. You can always live togather your sophmore year
Author crazieshnurple Posted February 25, 2008 Author Posted February 25, 2008 Ok for some clarifications, I'm kinda new at posting so not really to sure how to quote things but anyways every school we've applied to has been my choice, so my educational goals did come first it just so happens that i'm into environmental stuff and creative writing and he's into biology so it overlapped in a way that made my choices good schools for both of us. And the whole thing was his idea... before we really started to explore the fact that we could actually go to school together, he made it clear that he wasn't going to let me get away... he plans on following me wherever i go. i know that sounds like a really one sided thing but it's not. we have very similar goals however i have always dreamed of going out west, it's where i feel at home. he simply wanted to go to an out of state school with a good biology program. the reason he originally started a school around here was because of financial issues (his parents are not helping him pay for school at all), and he didn't really have any immediate incentive to get away. now anyways he can't wait to get out of his house... we talk about all the time how amazing it would be to go to school together and be able to just be together and live our relationship the way we want it to be without other people trying to break us up and whatnot. anyways i think i answered all of the questions that i saw... if theres any others let me know... thank you for all of the helpful advice so far!
xpaperxcutx Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Ok for some clarifications, I'm kinda new at posting so not really to sure how to quote things but anyways every school we've applied to has been my choice, so my educational goals did come first it just so happens that i'm into environmental stuff and creative writing and he's into biology so it overlapped in a way that made my choices good schools for both of us. And the whole thing was his idea... before we really started to explore the fact that we could actually go to school together, he made it clear that he wasn't going to let me get away... he plans on following me wherever i go. i know that sounds like a really one sided thing but it's not. we have very similar goals however i have always dreamed of going out west, it's where i feel at home. he simply wanted to go to an out of state school with a good biology program. the reason he originally started a school around here was because of financial issues (his parents are not helping him pay for school at all), and he didn't really have any immediate incentive to get away. now anyways he can't wait to get out of his house... we talk about all the time how amazing it would be to go to school together and be able to just be together and live our relationship the way we want it to be without other people trying to break us up and whatnot. anyways i think i answered all of the questions that i saw... if theres any others let me know... thank you for all of the helpful advice so far! Okay now that you cleared all these things up, I have to say that the things you guys talk about ie going to school together, living together,etc... are all wishful thinking. They may or may not work. But if you guys are willing to give it a go, I don't see why you shouldn't. Sometimes not pursuing something you really want to do can build up regret later on.
Green Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I advise living at the Dorms your first year its a great way to make friends at your new school. What ever you do don't live with him!
Author crazieshnurple Posted February 25, 2008 Author Posted February 25, 2008 I advise living at the Dorms your first year its a great way to make friends at your new school. What ever you do don't live with him! lol yeah i totally hear you on that one, we're defidently going to live in the dorms in seperate buildings our first year, but if things go well we may reconsider living arrangements for sophomore year
Recommended Posts