sick :(

[foxy418]

Me and my (ex) boyfriend have been together for 12 months and i've never been so happy and in love as in that year! Looking back now, I just realized I have never gotten sick for an entire year while with him!!!! My whole life I usually get sick very easily, but for a year, not a single cold, flu. nothing. My boyfriend had been sick with a cold but i would never catch it from him. Other people would always say i must be so healthy! i never really though about it till now but I know now that the reason for this is was because i was truly happy. There was no where i would rather be then with him, and i thanked God everyday for that..

 

Things however, changed, he changed, and lost interest in me, gained interest in other girls. So i broke up with him 3 months ago. It has been very hard and hes tried coming back to me (however, i dont believe he truly wants me) and I can't forgive him for what he did. (i wont go into detail) but even now he knows how hard im taking this break up and he is toying with my emotions. He is no longer the preson i knew and it breaks my heart. I try block him from my life but at times he'll manage to contact me.

 

Dealing with a break up is one part but what i am worried about is that i have become very ill. I have been in emergency twice since the break up and i am sick every single day. I wake up with unbearable headaches and i sleep at least 11 hours a day. i take naps. I think i may be depressed. My mum is setting up appointments with doctors to see what is wrong with me, but i know it is because im very unhappy. I never knew it could affect me so much.

i just graduated and i am looking for work but i am so unmotivated. I lost a lot of my friends because of my (ex) bf so i rarely go out. My parents are selling our house too and moving soon.

 

I dont know how to handle this break up. I know I dont want him anymore, I know i deserve better. but i miss how happy i was with him. I miss the guy i once knew. Its been 3 months and i seem to be doing worse (health wise)..

 

How can i be okay again?? any advvice ? ??

[jc]

I think the first thing you should do is focus on your health. Keep the doctor's appointment. If it is depression, you may need to go for some counselling. Your doctor's first instinct will probably be to prescribe an antidepressant if she/he does decide that you are clinically depressed, but I would proceed with caution here (I've been down that road; antidepressants are often not all they are cracked up to be and the side effects can be pretty bad).

 

Secondly, pick three things that you decide you are going to do every single day for your own health. Whether you feel like it or not. I'm going through something fairly similar right now (some poor health, partly due to sadness over the ending of a relationship I feel), and my three things are:

 

-a walk or other exercise for 30 minutes a day (trying to increase my seratonin levels without pills)

-meditation (I'm trying the 8-minute a day meditation program; it's not too long, but long enough, believe me!)

-trying to replace negative thoughts when they come up with a positive counterpart (for example, "what if I never meet anyone else" --> "that's silly, there will always be more opportunities to meet someone else"). This one is easily the most difficult for me, but probably the most crucial right now. Getting into a pattern of negative thoughts can become pretty debilitating.

 

I'm also trying to take care of my health by drinking lots of water, eating veggies and fruits.

 

I know what you mean by lack of motivation. I don't feel like doing anything right now. I'm usually an avid reader, but I'm not interested in reading. Can't be bothered to watch tv or movies. Just feel like lying on the couch. But at least I have three goals to focus on daily. And I've decided that I'm going to do it, no matter how hard, no matter how lethargic I feel, no matter how upset my stomach is. The alternative is just plainly worse.

 

That's the only advice I have to give, I hope you feel better soon,

 

jc