Tducky29 Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 So I have been reading over the posts here and thought that maybe someone could shed some light on my situation. I know this is going to be similar to other posts but I guess I just feel my situation is just a little different or it could just be denial talking. So here goes. I married my wife when we were both 19.My wife and I have been married almost 4 years now and we do have a 2 year old daughter. She has mentioned on several occasions that she was unhappy. Of course these times always popped up during a fight and not when we were having a "normal" day. I always took that with a grain of salt thinking that she was just saying these things because she was upset. I didn't realize that there was a bigger underlying problem with the relationship. I found out about a month ago that she wanted to go home to "think" about what she wanted in life. I kicked myself into overdrive to show her that she was the person I want to spend my life with doing everything I could to keep her here. About two weeks ago she said she was in fact going to come home after a short period of time but then later told me that wasn't true. We still held hands, went out to eat, spent time together watching movies on the couch, taking our daughter to the park and yet she still left. We still said I love you and even made love a few times. In the end it has been a week since she left here for home 2 states away. We agreed to no party nights on the town, no dating, keeping the finances in the same state as they were a year ago. Everyday I call out there to say hi to my daughter and to have some time to talk to her although it seems like she has nothing to say to me. Her family still talks to me all the time and tend to be on my side as far as keeping the relationship together. Her aunt, the person she is staying with told me just the other day to just "touch base" with her everyday but not to do anything to piss her off. I don't get it, I didn't want her to leave, she left me and I just want her to come home. I'm so angry and confused but most of all hurt. She just tells me to ask about her day on the phone but not to ask when she is comming home or even if she is going to. She just says she needs time to think. I want to give her all the time she needs but I can't live in a house full of our stuff, with our family pictures strown about everywhere. Its the most sickining feeling in the world. I guess Im asking to know if this sounds like a divorce in the making or two young people who just need time to miss each other. I love her and I do want her to come home but I just feel the more time we put between us the less this is going to work out. Thanks
eagle5 Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Hi Tducky, Welcome to LS, sorry you're in this horrible situation at the moment. Your situation sounds a bit like mine but in reverse, I left my wife because there were underlying feelings that just got worse and worse, and I have 2 boys also. It's been a year now and I know going back would be wrong (though I keep thinking about it). Have you been able to talk with her about what the problems actually are? If not I'd strongly advise doing just that, even though her family are telling you to keep conversation light. Don't go in like a bull in a china shop but maybe broach the situation somehow, even suggest you meet up, you could use the 'I have some mail for you' excuse. I feel you really need to know a bit more about whats going on in her mind to put yours to rest a bit. I say that because you are married and have a daughter, where I would usually suggest giving her that space she's asked for. As for having all the reminders of her around you, try putting them away or hiding them, (not because you are admitting anythings over but just to make it easier for you at this moment in time). Tell yourself doing that isn't a permanent thing, it's just temporary. It's a hard and horrible time and the not knowing makes it worse but it isn't particularly over, maybe she does just need space and you are both still young. If you can, use this time for you, do a few things you couldn't do when she was there, keep busy, go out with friends and most importantly look after yourself! I really hope it goes your way, whatever happens in the future, you will be ok and you will survive.......
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