Catwomannn Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 I have been dating a wonderful guy for about 6 months now. We have been exclusive for the last 5 months. He went on a vacation alone this month for 10 days to a place out of the country that is kind of a party place -I mean nothing like Cancun on spring break, but it is still a place that, from what I have read on the internet is a party town.... He really loves me and is always taking care of me and my kids and said that we would go on a vacation together next month and he would pay for everything. HE even comes over and cleans my house and takes care of me when I am sick! I really don't think he is the type of guy that would cheat on me but I am concerned that he has put himself in a situation that is full of temptations and although that is probably not his intention to cheat, he might end up in a situation where he could...I do trust him and I know he trusts me but I just wonder why he would choose to go to a place that would be so full of temptations? I am tempted to ask him when he gets back if he ended up hooking up with someone else, but I will feel like a fool if I do... Then again, if he was going to cheat on me, he could do it here at home as there are a lot of temptations here as well... Any advice, or thoughts???
Lauriebell82 Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Just because he went to a "party town" doesn't mean he has any intention of cheating on you or even being tempted. I could see how you'd be a little paranoid, since 6 months isn't all THAT long to be together, but I still think that you are being scared over nothing. Has he ever given you any indication not to trust him? I mean you are saying that you do trust him, but if even part of you think he could be tempted, than I don't think you actually do fully trust this guy. On the other hand, I don't know your bf, what kind of man he is, ect. My boyfriend has gone on business trips where he went out and partied with his co-workers, but I never thought he would cheat or even be tempted..actually he would call me on his way back to his hotel drunk as hell but telling me how all he thought about was me. I assume your bf is still on vacation..has he called you at all or written to you? Sent you a postcard? But honestly I think the most important question is: has he ever given you any reason to think that he would be tempted to cheat at all?
Author Catwomannn Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 He has always been completely honest with me about everything. When we first started dating, he let me know he was dating a couple of other women up front but broke things off with them after we were seeing each other for a month because he wanted to see me exclusively. I think you are right.. I am just being paranoid over nothing....In all of his past relationships he never cheated on any of his girlfriends....so I don't think he is the type to do so...
Lauriebell82 Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 He has always been completely honest with me about everything. When we first started dating, he let me know he was dating a couple of other women up front but broke things off with them after we were seeing each other for a month because he wanted to see me exclusively. I think you are right.. I am just being paranoid over nothing....In all of his past relationships he never cheated on any of his girlfriends....so I don't think he is the type to do so... That's good..I don't think you have anything to worry about. Nor would I ask him about it when he comes back. He might think that you are accusing him of something or that you don't trust him. So just tell him how much you missed him and how much you love him. That will confirm to him how lucky he is to have such a great girlfriend.
norajane Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 I assume there is something else to do in that vacation spot besides trying to hook up with other women? And there is a reason he might want to get there besides partying? For example, sun, sea, sand which is a blessing in February if you live in a cold climate. And those party town kinds of places get that way because they offer good deals on accommodations this time of year. Or he could be into snorkeling or scuba or sailing? Golf? Absent any other reason to think he might be out there for random hook ups, I'd recommend looking forward to the vacation he'll be taking you on next month.
Author Catwomannn Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 Yeah, he is really into diving and fishing and from what he has written in his emails he has been doing that everyday so far...He is in his 40's too so I wouldn't think random hook ups are his priority unlike a 20 year old guy
mortensorchid Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I think after a certain age, we know that going to a party town isn't going to make us join in on the festivities. He could be in a little town in the middle of no where and misbehave, but he doesn't seem like he is if he is going to a place just to participate in diving and things. I wouldn't worry about it, he's just doing his own thing.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Yeah, he is really into diving and fishing and from what he has written in his emails he has been doing that everyday so far...He is in his 40's too so I wouldn't think random hook ups are his priority unlike a 20 year old guy Aww, well there ya go. Ok well if he's in his 40's, I wouldn't worry too much. I doubt he's down there for a "spring break" type party vacation. The fact that he is emailing you telling you about his trip is a good sign too. So when you start having some paranoid doubt type thoughts, just think of all those things in your mind (he's not down there partying, he is fishing and diving, ect.) that makes it very unlikely that he's cheating. Going over those things in your mind should cancel out the paranoid thoughts and put your mind at ease.
cutegirl Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Well, perhaps I am a bit paranoid, but I would be paranoid if he went to countries like Thailand, Cambodia and Brazil since those are known for sex tourism. Also Amsterdam is very dangerous, I think most men that would go there would want to visit the Red Light District and partake in some fun there... Or especially Eastern European countries which are known for hookers, sex clubs etc Yea, I'm probably paranoid but certain countries are known for prostitutes etc and a lot of guys go to those places specifically to get laid.
Author Catwomannn Posted February 25, 2008 Author Posted February 25, 2008 He is in South America but definitely not Brazil....He can't afford a trip to Thailand or Amsterdam or the former Eastern block countries....
cutegirl Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 He is in South America but definitely not Brazil....He can't afford a trip to Thailand or Amsterdam or the former Eastern block countries.... I don't really know to be honest, if it was my bf I would assume the worst because I read on-line that a lot of guys also go to South American countries to enjoy the ladies etc but you never know, it's possible that he went just for the sights. It's true that there are temptations at home to but I think some guys think of those type of vacation spots as a haven to get away from it all. Some guys like "exotic latin women" hence the trips to South America and I read on some forums of guys complaining about Western women and going to South America because the women are more accommodating etc... I don't really know though because I'm not in your situation but I would be worried if it was my bf because a lot of those countries have prostitutes who love to lure American/Western men for money etc. If it were me I would be asking him if he did anything sexual down there etc, but that's just me. It might not be the best thing to do in case he felt you didn't trust him.
norajane Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Yeah, he is really into diving and fishing and from what he has written in his emails he has been doing that everyday so far...He is in his 40's too so I wouldn't think random hook ups are his priority unlike a 20 year old guy Like I said, if you have no other reason to think he might be cheating except that he's gone on vacation, I wouldn't worry about it. Guys don't suddenly change their character if they have integrity. Do you know who he's diving with? They always need to go down in pairs with a diving buddy, to keep track of each other in case something goes wrong. If you don't come with your diving partner, they assign whoever is there also alone, or you dive with the instructor.
Author Catwomannn Posted February 25, 2008 Author Posted February 25, 2008 He is diving with an instructor.....He said that goes diving for most of the day...The town he is in is in the middle of nowhere..mostly backpackers and some hippies passing through...
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