Is it time to ask for a change or end the relationship so as not to hut her?

[irish_lover_2]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Dear reader,[/FONT][/sIZE]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I have been going out with my girlfriend for the past year. I have changed a lot during the course of this year. About 6 months before I met her I was involved in a relationship that didn’t end so well. I was really in love with the previous girlfriend but it didn’t work out, long distances etc. [/FONT][/sIZE]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]When I meet my current girlfriend, I guess I was down and well I don’t know what I was thinking and we started going out. I was 100% sure that I didn’t believe that the emotions involved in love severed any good purpose as I was devastated when I broke up with my previous girlfriend.[/FONT][/sIZE]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]My problem now is that I guess I have recovered from the previous break up and over the past year I have changed a lot. I work really hard and I am very ambitious with my work which is research in alternative energy. I have also lost a lot of weight toned up and I have learnt to cook and speak German and some Spanish. I feel full of energy ready for action.[/FONT][/sIZE]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]My new girlfriend, who is a really lovely person, I feel is just not right for me. I feel like I would like to be with somebody who is motivated, inventive and full of energy also. I am attracted to my girlfriend and she really has such a lovely personality, she is caring, kind always thinking of others just one of these really nice people.[/FONT][/sIZE]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I feel like a satellite going about my business, keeping my self busy and trying to achieve and make new goals. I feel though as if I revolve around her, not literally, bus as in I really don’t think she has any goals beyond finishing her studies, she is an under grad and I am a post grad. I feel like she brings this lovely personality and caring but I wish she was a little more self centred and set about what she wants out of life. I feel as if she is just happy to have a relationship and apart from her niceness I don’t really see what she brings to my life as in she is happy because she is being the supportive girlfriend, when I support my self! [/FONT][/sIZE]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I feel like I am going out with somebody that is 22 going on 40. I would like to be with some body with lots of energy and focusing on their own goals instead of “a relationship”. I feel that there is so much to life and being single doesn’t bother me as I think I would be able to get a new girlfriend. I don’t mean to sound arrogant but I guess every body considering a break up must think about this.[/FONT][/sIZE]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]My question is if I outline that I would like her to, get some goals, other interests and put more into the relationship by caring less and being more confident in her self am I being an ******* by evening mentioning such stuff. I feel some times as if I would be saying if I was looking for a new girlfriend this is what I would look for can you do it? A problem for me also is her sexuality, she is really beautiful but I feel that she has no confidence in her sexuality. She dresses to be “nice” rather than sexy and I feel like, I have to make up the sexuality in my head to get aroused. I feel like we are making “love” all the time rather than having fun energetic sex.[/FONT][/sIZE]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I don’t want to hurt her and I don’t know if its right to discuss these things with her to try to make it work or is this a point when you decide the right thing to do is end it with something like it’s not going to work etc…….. without damaging her confidence etc. ? [/FONT][/sIZE]

[irish_lover_2]

[sIZE=2]Dear reader,

I have been going out with my girlfriend for the past year. I have changed a lot during the course of this year. About 6 months before I met her I was involved in a relationship that didn’t end so well. I was really in love with the previous girlfriend but it didn’t work out, long distances etc.

When I meet my current girlfriend, I guess I was down and well I don’t know what I was thinking and we started going out. I was 100% sure that I didn’t believe that the emotions involved in love severed any good purpose as I was devastated when I broke up with my previous girlfriend.

My problem now is that I guess I have recovered from the previous break up and over the past year I have changed a lot. I work really hard and I am very ambitious with my work which is research in alternative energy. I have also lost a lot of weight toned up and I have learnt to cook and speak German and some Spanish. I feel full of energy ready for action.

My new girlfriend, who is a really lovely person, I feel is just not right for me. I feel like I would like to be with somebody who is motivated, inventive and full of energy also. I am attracted to my girlfriend and she really has such a lovely personality, she is caring, kind always thinking of others just one of these really nice people.

I feel like a satellite going about my business, keeping my self busy and trying to achieve and make new goals. I feel though as if I revolve around her, not literally, bus as in I really don’t think she has any goals beyond finishing her studies, she is an under grad and I am a post grad. I feel like she brings this lovely personality and caring but I wish she was a little more self centred and set about what she wants out of life. I feel as if she is just happy to have a relationship and apart from her niceness I don’t really see what she brings to my life as in she is happy because she is being the supportive girlfriend, when I support my self!

I feel like I am going out with somebody that is 22 going on 40. I would like to be with some body with lots of energy and focusing on their own goals instead of "a relationship". I feel that there is so much to life and being single doesn’t bother me as I think I would be able to get a new girlfriend. I don’t mean to sound arrogant but I guess every body considering a break up must think about this.

My question is if I outline that I would like her to, get some goals, other interests and put more into the relationship by caring less and being more confident in her self am I being an ******* by evening mentioning such stuff. I feel some times as if I would be saying if I was looking for a new girlfriend this is what I would look for can you do it? A problem for me also is her sexuality, she is really beautiful but I feel that she has no confidence in her sexuality. She dresses to be "nice" rather than sexy and I feel like, I have to make up the sexuality in my head to get aroused. I feel like we are making "love" all the time rather than having fun energetic sex.

I don’t want to hurt her and I don’t know if its right to discuss these things with her to try to make it work or is this a point when you decide the right thing to do is end it with something like it’s not going to work etc…….. without damaging her confidence etc. ?

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