middlepath Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 What to do when someone you once were so deeply in love with, switches gears, suddenly bolts-emotionally-with no real explanation-after you move to a new city to be with them...traumatized, you take the time to heal....months go by and then you see them, make the mistake of hooking up with them, and then they pull some stuff out about it being about closure....you then tell them exactly how lame that makes you feel- they don't take responsibility for their actions, and instead try and blame you for their recent bad luck!-and suggest that perhaps it may be some kind of witchcraft you've been practicing.....this is what i am dealing with. trying to still be loving, compassionate and kind-is soooo difficult with some people. we are in the same circle of friends and i recently flipped out on him, after trying to be patient and understanding-i just had my limits. not sure how to navigate through this in order to keep my own boundaries in tact......help!
NoIDidn't Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 The same way they blame others for problems that really belong to them. Is this a MM you are talking about?
BetrayedMM Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Married Man. Round here it tends to imply one involved in an affair, something I found out after I chose my handle. So, been sticking pins in dolls?
OpenBook Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 what is an mm? Married Man. What to do when someone you once were so deeply in love with, switches gears, suddenly bolts-emotionally-with no real explanation-after you move to a new city to be with them...traumatized, you take the time to heal....months go by and then you see them, make the mistake of hooking up with them, and then they pull some stuff out about it being about closure....you then tell them exactly how lame that makes you feel- they don't take responsibility for their actions, and instead try and blame you for their recent bad luck!-and suggest that perhaps it may be some kind of witchcraft you've been practicing.....this is what i am dealing with. trying to still be loving, compassionate and kind-is soooo difficult with some people. we are in the same circle of friends and i recently flipped out on him, after trying to be patient and understanding-i just had my limits. not sure how to navigate through this in order to keep my own boundaries in tact......help! Why are you treating this person with kid gloves? You are not being your authentic self or honoring your own feelings... and your soul is screaming at you. As far as the witchcraft stuff,... :D:D You could REALLY have some fun with that!! Seriously, it sounds like he is drowning in his own karma. He has not treated you well, and has had some bad luck come his way, and (although it was unrelated to you) he is feeling guilty about how he treated you and sees the bad luck as some sort of "payback" from the universe for it. What he is not seeing is that it is his own behavior that has put him in the place where he's at now - miserable, and looking for something else to blame ("It can't be ME causing all this!"). In other words, he is associating you with the bad stuff so that he won't have to do the hard work of self-examination. It's his problem. Don't make it yours.
Author middlepath Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 sorry-i am in the wrong post, then!-no,not a married man..although, if he were at least that might explain some aspects of his behavior.... well, as far as sticking pins in dolls...not yet, though the thought has passed through my mind.... thanks for the advice!
Aoife Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 I wonder if they all have the same Book of Quotes...mine keeps teling me i've 'cast a spell' on him!!
Author middlepath Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 what is that spell thing really about?
angie2443 Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 what is that spell thing really about? The "spell" thing tends to loose it's power when the honey period is over. I think they say that it last for a year to two years after meeting a person. At least, this is what I've seen in most relationships.
Aoife Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 mine is 3 years and 5 months....but i'm starting to think it's another way of him rejecting culpability!!!
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