aguy24 Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 i first started dating this girl 7 years ago, im 24 now, It was the first real relationship with had both ever had at that time, and things went really well for almost a year, then for no reason it ended, to this day i can't remember why it ended the first time. We didn't talk for almost a year after that until i joined the military and left for boot camp. we started writing letters to each other while i was there and got back together when i returned home. again we had an incredible relationship lasting about 6 months but then i got mixed up with the wrong people and started on the downhill slope and pushed her away from me and broke her heart. it took till i straighted my life up to see what i had really down and sent letter after letter of apology to her begging her to forgive me for what i had done. She did forgive me and we became friends again. but went through another long period of not talking to each other. then i got sent overseas for almost a year and during that time we started writing each other again, and when i got back we got back together. But when i came back she had had some really bad stuff happen to her and it changed her a lot, i still loved her more then anything but things got way to deep way to quick and when we finally relized what was going on we fell apart again after a few months and the hurt happend to both of us again. That was over 2 years ago and i haven't really had a real relatioship since then, she still called me to tell me personal stuff she was afriad to tell anyone else even her boyfriend at the time because she trusted me, she got mixed up with a married guy who didn't let her know he was married till she was really involved. She was still very fraigle from what had happend to her. I warned her to stay away from any scum like that guy before it all blew up. i didn't hear from her for a while till one morning after a horrible depressing dream when she called to tell me she was pregnant from that guy, kinda ruined that month of my life. We talked maybe twice after that. Really good talks but i couldn't talk her out of staying with that guy, she felt like she had to and wouldn't hear any other way. i moved about 1200 miles away from where she lived not to long after that for work, but for some reason i just cannot get over her, its been 7 years and my feelings have never changed and i don't know how to let them go. She wants to live her life like that and i accept that but i just can not get over her, and would really like some help on what to do thanks
Author aguy24 Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 any advice would be great, i just want to get over her
eagle5 Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 How long ago did you last have contact with her? Also is she still with this married guy and has he seperated from his wife?
Author aguy24 Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 i last talked to her about a month and a half ago, the guy is still married to his wife but keeps telling her hes gonna leave her and marry the girl im talking about.
Author aguy24 Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 yes shes still with him she says she has to because shes pregnant with his child
eagle5 Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 When I read the first part of your post I thought you two sounded like you may belong together in the long run but it seems like you may be better off as friends. Saying that though, friends is never a good idea when one of you is still in love with the other person, infact it's dam near impossible. She has made a decision rightly or wrongly and to me, she is completely stupid and unrealistic sticking with a married guy who obviously isn't going to leave his wife. That's a disaster just waiting to happpen. She will probably turn to you again when the sh*t hits the fan but could you really consider taking on her and another man's child knowing it may go wrong (like it always has in your past)? Hopefully you are not thinking that way, but to answer your question about getting over her, I think you are not letting yourself let go. It's far easier to say than do but she is your past and it needs to stay that way. You have obviously had long time spans apart in the past but you really need to let go and go nc properly. Otherwise she'll always contact you in the future when she needs you and it won't let you move forward. Good luck my friend, let us know what happens.... (btw read all the nc threads for inspiration)
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