e.clipse Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 hey guys, i have no clue where to post this, so i guess i'll just post is here. anyway, i am having trouble with something, so i was wondering if you all could weigh in with your opinions. alright, here is the thing: there is a Beatles tribute band playing at a nearby restaurant/pub. i knew they would be playing there today since early January. and well, to be honest, i had been psyched about it since, because i just love the Beatles. i've wanted to go since i found out. the problem was that i didn't have anyone to go with, since none of my friends are Beatles fans. so, i just kept wishing someone would pop up, so i could go with them. and they did. a friend of mine who doesn't even know who they are (...), but said she'd go with me still, if she was able to get out of work at 7pm. so, i got super excited, even though it wasn't a sure thing. later that evening . . . i found out that my exbf is going. :sick: it's not much of a surprise, i guess, because he loves the Beatles, too, but i don't know if i should still go. i advised to not go by the person who told me he was going. they said it would be better if i just canceled and went to go see them another time; that i should just do something else. in a way, i can see how that makes sense. i mean, the venue is tiny, so we are most likely going to bump into each other for sure. and well, he would be surprised by seeing me, and probably not in a good way. i don't want to ruin his night, so i am thinking maybe i should just not go. however, i realize this is unfair to me. or at least, i think it is. it would be one thing if i wanted to go just for the sake of "accidentally bumping into him," but that is not the case. at all. i had been looking forward to going since early January, and, in a way, i don't think it's fair that i "go another time." i don't know, guys. would you go?
johan Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I don't know what you should do. It's not a lifetime decisions, it's only a couple hours, so if you don't do the right thing, whatever that might be, you won't have to live with it for long. ...i don't want to ruin his night, so i am thinking maybe i should just not go... Interesting that it's his night you're concerned about. Why his and not yours?
Author e.clipse Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 i know it is not that important. the only reason i am even having doubts (still wanting to go) is because i love the Beatles. and because i had been looking forward to this for a while. plus, i don't go out that much, and yet i was still hopeful of catching this band play. if it was whatever else, i'd probably just not go. but i guess this was a special thing for me. and as for you question, i don't know. since i already know he is going, i could just try to avoid him by sitting in the back or something. if anything, my night would be sucky if i didn't go. so, in a way, i'd be alright with going, even though he will be there, but it is him i am concerned about. i just don't want him to be surprised by seeing me and feel bad or something. i know he loves them too, so he will be happy going. and i don't want him to not be happy. so that is why i'd rather be unhappy and not go. but that's unfair to me. see, i'm all confused. would you, johan?
Pyro Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 All that matters is you. Don't let him control your life. You go to that show and if you see him, just walk away.
Storyrider Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Maybe you could wear a blue wig and big sunglasses. No. Here's what you should do: get tipsy enough so that you won't care, but not so tipsy that you want to throw yourself at him, then go and enjoy yourself. Enlist your friend as your bodyguard to keep a good 10 yards between the two of you so that you don't literally bump into each other.
carhill Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 If your friend can get off work...... go If not.... go Are you getting a sense of things now?
Author e.clipse Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 Maybe you could wear a blue wig and big sunglasses. No. Here's what you should do: get tipsy enough so that you won't care, but not so tipsy that you want to throw yourself at him, then go and enjoy yourself. Enlist your friend as your bodyguard to keep a good 10 yards between the two of you so that you don't literally bump into each other. ooh-kay. i don't think i was able to distinguish the fine line between tipsy enough and too tipsy. but i certainly don't care anymore. everything is so funny. i wonder if they will let me sing. that would be so cooool. and 10 yards? is that about 30 feet? dude, the little area where they play is about...10x10 feet. only a few people can squeeze in there. the rest just sit at their tables, listening. i will squeeze myself in there. :lmao: oh wow, i have a bad case of the giggles. christ.
Leia Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 My god..... Just go! It's not his place, is it? Put your first. Enjoy it.
underpants Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 You want to go. You have wanted to go for some time. I say look absolutely f'ing fabulous and own the place. If he should happen to approach you then nod kindly and move on. Enjoy the show you came to see. If you should leave him with a little remorse then, 'yesterday, my troubles seemed so far way'....(then report the next silly poem he writes on his blog). Let it be...but go and have fun.
johan Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 I say look absolutely f'ing fabulous and own the place. If he should happen to approach you then nod kindly and move on. There is nothing like Victorian politeness to remind a guy how worthless he is. Let him imagine someone else unlacing your bodice tonight! If you should leave him with a little remorse then, 'yesterday, my troubles seemed so far way'....(then report the next silly poem he writes on his blog). Let it be...but go and have fun. Yes. Let it be, let it be.
Author e.clipse Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 alright, you guys. the drink has settled and i feel fine. chipper, but not too chipper. i think i have managed the fine balance Story suggested. initially, i was just going to wear jeans, tshirt, and sneakers. you know, like my good old bummy self. but i have opted for jeans, a hot pink blouse, and some heels. they are not too big, so i am fine them. i was thinking about it, and i always look so "whatever," so it would be nice to dress up. i think i look cute. (omg, i just gave myself a compliment!) certainly nothing over the top, but cute. i am going. if he is there, then too bad. i can't keep folding every time. we live in the same city, after all, so it was bound to happen. i will not look for him, though. i promise. i am going because i love the beatles, and i have been wanting to go for some time, so i want to go have some fun...i don't think i am doing anything bad. wish me luck guys! i'll post when i get back. undies:
carhill Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Commando... LOL Have a great time! Good on ya for dressing up for you!
spookie Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Dude, don't let him control you! If you want to, go!
xpaperxcutx Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 IF you want to go, then go. Why are you letting your ex run your life? Besides its a Beatles tribute... I'd give anything to listen to beatle songs. GO!
Author e.clipse Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 :(:( i shouldn't have gone, you guys. :(:(
Author e.clipse Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 i feel like ****. for one, i had too much to drink. i drank before i left and i was a bit out of it, but not too much. then i drank some more when we got there, so i was pretty happy...in that way... anyway, my friend is pretty crazy. she talks to everyone. after we ate, we sat nearby the band, in some chairs. and then guess who passed RIGHT by? yep. as soon as i saw him, i turned away. my friend told me to stop being silly and just talked to him. so, when he passed by again, i kicked him. i said hi, introduced my friend, and then he left. a while after, we had to get up. we wandered to the other side of the place, because we couldn't see from where we were anymore. and we ended up standing right in front of him. it was so uncomfortable. after about two songs, my phone vibrated. i had a text from him. he wrote telling me that we should just sit at his table, instead of standing, if we wanted. we went. bad. so there we were. him, his friend, me, and my friend. i was next to him, and my friend was next to his friend. he bought us some drinks. and then my friend wanted to dance. he came too. and i danced two songs with him. then back to the table. then it was time to leave. and we all got up together. i asked if i could speak to him for a second... i shouldn't have and i wouldn't have if i had not drank so much. sure, i would have wanted to talk to him, but i would have talked myself out of it. instead, i talked myself into it. and we talked. i kissed him. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! i told him i missed him. he said he missed me too. he told me to listen to the Beatles song, "Something," so i could understand exactly what he feels. he told me to call him later. he said i was his "friend." and that he had ONLY done those things--offering us a seat, drinks, and a dance--because he was being a friend. that it didn't mean anything more. again, he told me to call him later. i have not. i feel sick. what the ****. this was so not the ****ing point. i want to enter a state of coma. :(
spookie Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 :(:( i shouldn't have gone, you guys. :(:( What happened???
Space Marine Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Positive reinforcement on the internet can get you in trouble. Next time, don't rely completely on people here. When I opened this thread and read the first entry, my first impulse was don't go... But apparently I'm too late, and honestly, my opinion would not have been the most popular one anyway, and I probably would have been flamed. Plus, I don't like the Beatles. Sorry to hear of your bad luck, and I hope things pick up.
johan Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 I don't know that the advice to go was so bad. I'm sure most people didn't think that she'd end up at his table and then kiss him out of drunken bad judgment. Anyone who considered that a likely outcome would have said "don't go". It's not such a problem, e.clipse. Just forget it happened. Get back on the program of moving on.
Space Marine Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 True. Recovery is never a one-step process. In fact, it's usually a marathon. Though it may seem like it now, it's not the end of the world. Also, I was not suggesting that "go" was a bad idea. I'm just saying that people that aren't you and don't know how you will react should be careful of the advice they give, even if the intentions are good.
johan Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Then I suspect you would approve of my initial post on this thread. Except for the stupid typo, of course.
White Flower Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 You want to go. You have wanted to go for some time. I say look absolutely f'ing fabulous and own the place. If he should happen to approach you then nod kindly and move on. Enjoy the show you came to see. If you should leave him with a little remorse then, 'yesterday, my troubles seemed so far way'....(then report the next silly poem he writes on his blog). Let it be...but go and have fun. Underpants, this was such a funny post! I say go and enjoy yourself. You can always tell him you thought about not going just to put him at ease but in the end you wanted to be fair to yourself as well. Have a great time!
White Flower Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Oh! And don't have a hard day's night thinking about it.
White Flower Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Ooops, guess I should read the entire thread before I post. Sorry you regret going. But is it only because he said you were a friend? Or that you kissed him? I know you don't want to hear this right now but it's all about learning and one day you'll laugh about this. Cheers
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