a little unsure....am i analyzing too much?

[allieapplesauce]

Hi, I've only posted once or twice on here....

I could use some advice or someone's opinion.

 

My few relationships have been very short lived with me getting let down after i start getting attached. What I mean by that is that the guy usually does the initiating part and i let him do all the planning the first couple times, and then after like the 4th or 5th date i'll usually try to initiate something and then i get the shaft and they tell me they cant be in a relationship blah blah blah.

 

now, i'm ok with being by myself and not being leashed with the other person, so it's not a matter of me being clingy or anything.

 

but i've not had really any positive experiences so it's all i have to go on.

 

i started dating this guy from work. i know he tried for several months to get me to hang out and we did start going out to eat and some movies and stuff as friends. after about 2 months and i'd started going over to his place to watch movies and stuff he kissed me...from there it got alittle serious and not long after that he asked if i'd be his girlfriend.

 

he's real sweet. won a stuffed animal out of the game machine. pays for my dinner even when i ask if i can treat. just wants to cuddle sometimes. wants me to be around. calls me sweetie. tells me i look nice or im pretty.

 

it's now been about 4 months since hanging out one on one and almost 2 months since official. 2 months is usually the breaking point so that plus other crap that keeps happening may be all that i'm worry about. i really hope so.

 

lately, though, he's been kinda distant. we used to have like 50 txt messages a day, now its down to about like 5-10 & it takes him forever to respond. i guess that might be normal and its just dying down a little. the texts we do have--his are kinda short. no more smiley faces or anything. he stopped being like "goodnight sweetie" in his texts and instead i just get a "night" not even a "night!" like he's happy. i think part of it is just that he's depressed about a few other things--and i can understand completely. we both kinda feel like we need a big change to lift our spirits. there are some signs i think he's still interested. he did ask me to go to dinner at the beginning of the week and he held my hand and he's told me in a text things like "im not happy. you help. i just hate my life" or "i like you though!" i've gotten some of that but i just hope he's not losing interest because before he had been like "i hope you plan on staying around for along time" or "i dont think im ever gonna let you go" . he was texting me thru out the day just asking what i was up to and stuff. now i dont get any texts like that. i told him today "I miss you!" and he said "i miss you too" but it was like it had no feeling. i am probably just being real dumb which is all i hope it is. and i was feeling real comfortable in all this stuff and now i'm feeling awkward and unsure.

 

i dont wanna say anything stupid to him or anything thats gonna make him think twice. i think im supposed to go over tomorrow to see him. but that feels like an up in the air thing. do you think its appropriate to have any serious discussion to know exactly where we stand and stuff?

 

one of the other things is i do live at home and i'm looking to move out within the next 1-2 months max. its a matter of giving the apt place my application and then waiting for the vacatant room. i'll be moving about 10 miles from him instead of like 25. im not moving near him JUST to be near him. i dont want him to think im moving close just for him. maybe like 10% is that its nearer him. but mostly its just my own city away from parents and i have some other friends there and its a good spot for getting to the highway to go where i need to go. im hoping once i move out things will improve cause i'll have freedom and whatnot to pursue this like the adults we are.

 

i know you dont know us or the little details but from others whove been in relationships and have your own thinking in these matters--maybe you can lend me some thoughts. i got so much going on right now that my stomach's in knots.

 

i'm just afraid im becoming attached and i want the relationship to work, but i'm really scared of opening myself up for it to crash on me. cause the others always come with no warning.

 

thanks

Edited February 23, 2008 by allieapplesauce

[xpaperxcutx]

Hi, I've only posted once or twice on here....

I could use some advice or someone's opinion.

 

My few relationships have been very short lived with me getting let down after i start getting attached. What I mean by that is that the guy usually does the initiating part and i let him do all the planning the first couple times, and then after like the 4th or 5th date i'll usually try to initiate something and then i get the shaft and they tell me they cant be in a relationship blah blah blah.

 

now, i'm ok with being by myself and not being leashed with the other person, so it's not a matter of me being clingy or anything.

 

but i've not had really any positive experiences so it's all i have to go on.

 

i started dating this guy from work. i know he tried for several months to get me to hang out and we did start going out to eat and some movies and stuff as friends. after about 2 months and i'd started going over to his place to watch movies and stuff he kissed me...from there it got alittle serious and not long after that he asked if i'd be his girlfriend.

 

he's real sweet. won a stuffed animal out of the game machine. pays for my dinner even when i ask if i can treat. just wants to cuddle sometimes. wants me to be around. calls me sweetie. tells me i look nice or im pretty.

 

it's now been about 4 months since hanging out one on one and almost 2 months since official. 2 months is usually the breaking point so that plus other crap that keeps happening may be all that i'm worry about. i really hope so.

 

lately, though, he's been kinda distant. we used to have like 50 txt messages a day, now its down to about like 5-10 & it takes him forever to respond. i guess that might be normal and its just dying down a little. the texts we do have--his are kinda short. no more smiley faces or anything. he stopped being like "goodnight sweetie" in his texts and instead i just get a "night" not even a "night!" like he's happy. i think part of it is just that he's depressed about a few other things--and i can understand completely. we both kinda feel like we need a big change to lift our spirits. there are some signs i think he's still interested. he did ask me to go to dinner at the beginning of the week and he held my hand and he's told me in a text things like "im not happy. you help. i just hate my life" or "i like you though!" i've gotten some of that but i just hope he's not losing interest because before he had been like "i hope you plan on staying around for along time" or "i dont think im ever gonna let you go" . he was texting me thru out the day just asking what i was up to and stuff. now i dont get any texts like that. i told him today "I miss you!" and he said "i miss you too" but it was like it had no feeling. i am probably just being real dumb which is all i hope it is. and i was feeling real comfortable in all this stuff and now i'm feeling awkward and unsure.

 

i dont wanna say anything stupid to him or anything thats gonna make him think twice. i think im supposed to go over tomorrow to see him. but that feels like an up in the air thing. do you think its appropriate to have any serious discussion to know exactly where we stand and stuff?

 

one of the other things is i do live at home and i'm looking to move out within the next 1-2 months max. its a matter of giving the apt place my application and then waiting for the vacatant room. i'll be moving about 10 miles from him instead of like 25. im not moving near him JUST to be near him. i dont want him to think im moving close just for him. maybe like 10% is that its nearer him. but mostly its just my own city away from parents and i have some other friends there and its a good spot for getting to the highway to go where i need to go. im hoping once i move out things will improve cause i'll have freedom and whatnot to pursue this like the adults we are.

 

i know you dont know us or the little details but from others whove been in relationships and have your own thinking in these matters--maybe you can lend me some thoughts. i got so much going on right now that my stomach's in knots.

 

i'm just afraid im becoming attached and i want the relationship to work, but i'm really scared of opening myself up for it to crash on me. cause the others always come with no warning.

 

thanks

 

Well I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. You guys are just moving out of the honeymoon phase. Besides I'm sure after two months, its quite possible that its understood on his part and yours that its clear that he likes you and that he feels that he's already expressed all that he needs to express without making it obvious.

And I'm sure you're just stressed right now with the whole moving out on your own. You shouldn't put too much emphasis in relating your past relationships with your current one. It's not healthy. Try to break free from the past and build a stronger future with your current bf. Good luck.

[allieapplesauce]

hi, thanks for your reply. I can see your point there. i talked to a work friend whos a few years older and has dated ppl and has been in a ltr for abt 1-2 yrs now...she knows abt me and this person but she's not in my same friend crowd so and she's not abt to tell everyone.

 

her input was she didnt think i was being retarded but i had to see how it went when i went to see him later (which is now yesterday) and for me not to say anything abt wheret his was going...just see what he said and did. she said she thinks the whole infatuation thing should last more like 6 months, not 1 1/2 but each guy is diff.....

 

so its either the infatuation died off and you're right papercut that he just feels we have a mutual understanding that we're Official and that's that. or i can take the infatuation as starting back in like sept, oct but there just wasn't any intimacy until after the new years....so that would be like 5 months.....

 

well yesterday i was nervous going over at first but once i was there for a while my anxiety went away but its back again.

 

i wonder if a lot is to do with moving out and i just hope this relationship makes it thru another month for me to do that.

 

when i texted to tell him i was there so he could come out to let me in he came right out, gave me a quick kiss and then said we were leaving...and we went to do some errands....he bought me lunch...then we went back to his place...we basically just laid on the couch together and watched some movies and tv the whole evening...he made me some quesidillas which were good. he wasn't as affectionate as before. i mean he was still affectionate but it was just more just laying there and holding hands a little, kissing a little here and there but that's it. mostly i was the one who was affectionate, rubbing his back and stuff.

 

but this was the first time we didnt really "make out" or sleep together either. which i dont want to do that every single time--but then again i dont wanna just be used for sex either--which i dont think he's about...but i also dont want to think that the fact we didnt is because hes losing interest.

 

im hoping the fact that we work together and have a set of mutual friends that he isnt going to jump into this when hes not serious or that he's just gonna break up with me; and the fact he'd asked me to be his gf should indicate a certain level of security...i dont know....

 

the other day one of the boys at work told my friend who doesnt know everything about the situation--the whole gf/bf part-cause i just wasnt ready to bring it up....well the boy was saying he knew stuff she didnt.....and she tld me he was saying that...so i told my bf that and he said well the kid just kinda put two and two together and all i told him was we were dating...that's all they need to know. so i guess he wldnt tell the kid that we were dating if he was thinking of breaking it off?

 

he seemed okay as far as some laughing and stuff but we didnt really talk much. really, nothing very exciting to talk about. didnt want to talk about work and some other stuff cause im tired of just having stuff to complan about.

 

now, that i'm perfectly fine with. thats relaxing and comfortable. i guess im still just looking for the signs and now it stopped and i dont know if its normal or not.

 

anywya, he wasnt all like 'you look real pretty' or anything. thats ok, when he was doing it it was like geez you can stop with that already, but now its gone its like uh oh. at the end he did tell me to text him that i get home ok and he said good night sweetie after a hug and kiss g'night.

 

now since originally i didnt think we were going to do anything this weekend i'd asked him to dinner for tuesday (tmr) and he said sure and this was in person so he didnt sound like he was saying yes just to say yes to me. but then we found out the group wanted to go to all you can eat wings and it was like a "what ever you want" type thing...as far as me and him or do the group thing. last night he mentioned wings and not our "date" so i said "ok you'd rather go to wings then our dinner?" just you know reminding him but just confirming...and he said whatever i think...and isaid well i know you like wings...and he said "we can go out anytime, we dont all get together much" so i said ok we can just go out later this week or next week or something."

 

thats ok right? thats not like a dump on our date really right? its just everytime i make any initiation i get cancelled on with guys (i know you say not to think abt past relationships, but i cant help seeing the pattern that these always take) so i dont like doing it. but he pays for all my stuff. i'd like to take him out. i would think he'd like that too.

 

i guess all the "come overs" all the time have died off and i dont know how to initiate a get together.

 

do you think this sounds typical and im just being worried?

 

sorry its so long. i'd really appreciate the input as much as you can get since i dont know how guys think...and i just need to get the thoughts out there somethere instead of stuck in my head.

Edited February 25, 2008 by allieapplesauce

[xpaperxcutx]

hi, thanks for your reply. I can see your point there. i talked to a work friend whos a few years older and has dated ppl and has been in a ltr for abt 1-2 yrs now...she knows abt me and this person but she's not in my same friend crowd so and she's not abt to tell everyone.

 

her input was she didnt think i was being retarded but i had to see how it went when i went to see him later (which is now yesterday) and for me not to say anything abt wheret his was going...just see what he said and did. she said she thinks the whole infatuation thing should last more like 6 months, not 1 1/2 but each guy is diff.....

 

so its either the infatuation died off and you're right papercut that he just feels we have a mutual understanding that we're Official and that's that. or i can take the infatuation as starting back in like sept, oct but there just wasn't any intimacy until after the new years....so that would be like 5 months.....

 

well yesterday i was nervous going over at first but once i was there for a while my anxiety went away but its back again.

 

i wonder if a lot is to do with moving out and i just hope this relationship makes it thru another month for me to do that.

 

when i texted to tell him i was there so he could come out to let me in he came right out, gave me a quick kiss and then said we were leaving...and we went to do some errands....he bought me lunch...then we went back to his place...we basically just laid on the couch together and watched some movies and tv the whole evening...he made me some quesidillas which were good. he wasn't as affectionate as before. i mean he was still affectionate but it was just more just laying there and holding hands a little, kissing a little here and there but that's it. mostly i was the one who was affectionate, rubbing his back and stuff.

 

but this was the first time we didnt really "make out" or sleep together either. which i dont want to do that every single time--but then again i dont wanna just be used for sex either--which i dont think he's about...but i also dont want to think that the fact we didnt is because hes losing interest.

 

he seemed okay as far as some laughing and stuff but we didnt really talk much. really, nothing very exciting to talk about. didnt want to talk about work and some other stuff cause im tired of just having stuff to complan about.

 

now, that i'm perfectly fine with. thats relaxing and comfortable. i guess im still just looking for the signs and now it stopped and i dont know if its normal or not.

 

anywya, he wasnt all like 'you look real pretty' or anything. thats ok, when he was doing it it was like geez you can stop with that already, but now its gone its like uh oh. at the end he did tell me to text him that i get home ok and he said good night sweetie after a hug and kiss g'night.

 

now since originally i didnt think we were going to do anything this weekend i'd asked him to dinner for tuesday (tmr) and he said sure and this was in person so he didnt sound like he was saying yes just to say yes to me. but then we found out the group wanted to go to all you can eat wings and it was like a "what ever you want" type thing...as far as me and him or do the group thing. last night he mentioned wings and not our "date" so i said "ok you'd rather go to wings then our dinner?" just you know reminding him but just confirming...and he said whatever i think...and isaid well i know you like wings...and he said "we can go out anytime, we dont all get together much" so i said ok we can just go out later this week or next week or something."

 

thats ok right? thats not like a dump on our date really right? its just everytime i make any initiation i get cancelled on with guys (i know you say not to think abt past relationships, but i cant help seeing the pattern that these always take) so i dont like doing it. but he pays for all my stuff. i'd like to take him out. i would think he'd like that too.

 

i guess all the "come overs" all the time have died off and i dont know how to initiate a get together.

 

do you think this sounds typical and im just being worried?

 

sorry its so long. i'd really appreciate the input as much as you can get since i dont know how guys think...and i just need to get the thoughts out there somethere instead of stuck in my head.

You're overthinking the situation again. You're seeing a problem that really isn't there. There's no need to overanalyze why he's not being "affectionate", sometimes people just settle into that role of being comfortable with someone, and it does not in any way have to involve being touchy with the other person.

 

As for your going out with him, its important to know that just because you guys are in a relationship does not necessarily mean that you guys need to spend every free minuyr together. He's not trying to dump your date. Maybe he just felt that having dinner with a group of people would liven things up. Don't think that he doesn't want to spend time with you. It's perfectly normal to want to spend time with your SO and other people. And there's no need to feel awkward to want to initiate some alone time together. Be casual and think up dates like going for late night movies and/or walks with him. You shouldn't feel awkward around someone you like.

[allieapplesauce]

i'm sure you're absolutely right. i'm way too insecure for this stuff, i just can't help it. I don't like feeling this way. You're input helps some though. Suppose i should try to take a step back from it all. It's hard not to worry about it; but i need to try. Thanks though.

[allieapplesauce]

ugh i got so much on my mind i think my head is going to explode. and i cant find anything to distract myself with.

 

its all these little things. im questioning if moving out is the right thing .i know it is. i took today off work to 1. go with my friend to a job fair for her to get a job b/c i already work there. and 2. go do the application stuff with the apartment place.

 

now the bf has been un happy but i guess there's more now on the job side so he's being very quiet and not really talking to the others either. says hes leaving half day and going home to look for new job. so the wings thing is out of the question--everyone cancelled. blah. ok so if he really is unhappy and needs a new job, i support that. none of us are extremely happy. its a good company, awesome in fact, but we deal with the general public and a lot of them are really irrational and mean and stuff and so it really makes me bitter and tired. if he leaves ok. i'll even help him find a job.

 

i dont wanna be selfish or anything--i just dont wanna lose him just yet. not saying he's the one or anything like that--but for the moment, i dont want to lose him. i guess now its not a matter of is he still interested--its a matter of is he going to turn around and say he cant have a relationship until he sorts out his life. thats the worst of it b/c that's the same line i always get and i dont know if i can handle losing him--but im not abt to say that cause its too soon and saying that'll prb freak him out. so i guess i just dont know if i shld give him space. i told him i was there for him if he needs me and i understand his unhappiness. part of its his own fault tho. he said he would text me later. i dont know if i should call to check up or just let him be. i usally just let ppl be, but in a relationship ppl butt in. i dont know if thats the right thing to do.

 

im annoyed i took a day off and now its wasted. i'd go to work but the roads are supposed to get bad and its snowy ice rain now so i figure its safter not to go then to get in an accident. i just wish i was a little kid again and didnt have this crap to worry about.

[nitabean]

Girl, girl, girl!!! Been there, done that...man you sound like me a few months ago...lol. One of my friends told me the best advice ever, act like you could care less and you will get what you want. You may not be telling the BF that you miss the texting and the sweet nothings he used to say but he knows. Think of something else when you are with him to get your mind off of it, when he senses that you could care less he will come back. I know it works, my current bf started the same thing....i went through about 2 weeks of the texts being gone or short, maybe one call a day, etc. then about 2 weeks ago when we went out on our normal Wednesday night I made it a point to show up after him. He greeted me w/ a kiss on my cheek and i walked away to talk to friends. Awhile later I came back to our table and sat ACROSS from him instead of beside him...within the hour he was asking me what was wrong. Nothing was wrong I was just refocused so he could refocus on me. I am happy to say that he texts me more, the text are longer and have more depth to them and he has added seeing me 4-5 times a week from just 2. It is hard to do but that is the way a guy will react, if he thinks he has you he wont try...if he senses he might lose you he will try to win you back. He is the hunter and you are the doe......

[allieapplesauce]

ahhh...nitabean...thanks for the input. yeah it makes sense to drift away to make him want you more, as he drifted away, i suddenly wanted him more!!! hmmmwell im glad things are working out for someone!!

 

i guess after the hype of the job thing yesterday it is slightly possible that the problem might go away...he'll stay with the company but try to relocate and hopefully a local relocation. he talked some today. who knows what's gonna happen though.

 

he did make a mention that the movie he watched the other night was good and i can 1. borrow it or 2. come over and watch it.

 

i told him nonchalantly when i said hi during a break to "call me later if ya want" and guess what....wowie, he did! we talked for like 30 min....altho neither of us much have stuff to say. i'd like to get over that dead air thing tho somehow....in person its not so bad......he plays video games at the same time....so he's a bit distracted.

 

he ended the call first but he said to text him later if i wanted...so i said i wld before bed...so i said goodnight and we'll see if he msgs back....

 

anyway we're going to go out tomorrow---unless something screws it up----and i mentioned planning another outting with the others something we did before---bar stuff...so he said he'd check it out with the others.....soooo....

 

after tmr i'll just try to block him out and not be as attentive....we'll see where it goes....crossing my fingers!

[xpaperxcutx]

ahhh...nitabean...thanks for the input. yeah it makes sense to drift away to make him want you more, as he drifted away, i suddenly wanted him more!!! hmmmwell im glad things are working out for someone!!

 

i guess after the hype of the job thing yesterday it is slightly possible that the problem might go away...he'll stay with the company but try to relocate and hopefully a local relocation. he talked some today. who knows what's gonna happen though.

 

he did make a mention that the movie he watched the other night was good and i can 1. borrow it or 2. come over and watch it.

 

i told him nonchalantly when i said hi during a break to "call me later if ya want" and guess what....wowie, he did! we talked for like 30 min....altho neither of us much have stuff to say. i'd like to get over that dead air thing tho somehow....in person its not so bad......he plays video games at the same time....so he's a bit distracted.

 

he ended the call first but he said to text him later if i wanted...so i said i wld before bed...so i said goodnight and we'll see if he msgs back....

 

anyway we're going to go out tomorrow---unless something screws it up----and i mentioned planning another outting with the others something we did before---bar stuff...so he said he'd check it out with the others.....soooo....

 

after tmr i'll just try to block him out and not be as attentive....we'll see where it goes....crossing my fingers!

oh wow im happy for you. you were basically overreacting before. Sometimes when trouble with certain things, guys unlike girls, would prefer to distance themselves from ppl to work out their issue rather than talk it out.

As for the dead silence over the phone, don't think too much on it. My ex and I used to be silent all the time ( and he plays games too while talking to me) because we've just gotten so comfortable with each other.

 

Soo.... I hope you have a fun time on your outing tomorrow. To make it more exciting with a group of people, don't be too affectionate with him. Instead, occasionally brush up on him, or a slight touch of the hands can help create a bit of sexual tension.

[allieapplesauce]

Thanks papercut, i took that into consideration about the idea that guys will distance themselves to work out the prb.

 

the dead silence isnt that big a deal; i guess i just wanna try to avoid talking about work work work and i dont want to repeat the same things going on multiple times. i cant think of any stories to tell him. oh well. we'll cross that bridge when it comes. that's not really my main concern.

 

so the outting was ok. i had a good time. i paid. he kept asking to pay, or that it was expensive, or can he pay half and i was like nooooooo silly. sheesh. he sounds like me. im not good at ALL with letting ppl pay but i kinda just let him....he seems to want to....and as long as i can do it once in a while....i guess we'll just settle into things...

 

well he mentioned me coming over sunday (which at that point was monday and today is now sunday). he never asked again and i didnt ask him. i thought i should not worry about it and stay home this weekend and get things done.

 

supposedly im going to spend the weekend or at least 1 night next weekend after a group of us go to the bar. so i thought it best to give us a break. im going to hold out and see what he does this week. i do miss his "i miss you!" or "xoxo" texts so im not sure what's still goin on there.

 

i dont call him hun or sweetie, it's just not like a habit in my vocab but i want to...i never think to call him anything tho...so that's my goal to work on. just gotta come out and say it or think it in my mind.

 

still a bit anxious...but not as much. usually if i talk or see or text with him a bit things are ok for like an hour lol...if i go to bed fine i usually wake up and go thru the morning ok but then when i dont hear from him by like 3pm im like pulling my hair out....but im not gonna make the first move!!!

[xpaperxcutx]

Thanks papercut, i took that into consideration about the idea that guys will distance themselves to work out the prb.

 

the dead silence isnt that big a deal; i guess i just wanna try to avoid talking about work work work and i dont want to repeat the same things going on multiple times. i cant think of any stories to tell him. oh well. we'll cross that bridge when it comes. that's not really my main concern.

 

so the outting was ok. i had a good time. i paid. he kept asking to pay, or that it was expensive, or can he pay half and i was like nooooooo silly. sheesh. he sounds like me. im not good at ALL with letting ppl pay but i kinda just let him....he seems to want to....and as long as i can do it once in a while....i guess we'll just settle into things...

 

well he mentioned me coming over sunday (which at that point was monday and today is now sunday). he never asked again and i didnt ask him. i thought i should not worry about it and stay home this weekend and get things done.

 

supposedly im going to spend the weekend or at least 1 night next weekend after a group of us go to the bar. so i thought it best to give us a break. im going to hold out and see what he does this week. i do miss his "i miss you!" or "xoxo" texts so im not sure what's still goin on there.

 

i dont call him hun or sweetie, it's just not like a habit in my vocab but i want to...i never think to call him anything tho...so that's my goal to work on. just gotta come out and say it or think it in my mind.

 

still a bit anxious...but not as much. usually if i talk or see or text with him a bit things are ok for like an hour lol...if i go to bed fine i usually wake up and go thru the morning ok but then when i dont hear from him by like 3pm im like pulling my hair out....but im not gonna make the first move!!!

 

Lol.

Yes, try to preoccupy yourself with your own things. Don't wait or hold out for him to make the plans, go make your OWN plans with or without him. It's a matter of self reliance, don't come to depend on him too much.

As for the terms of endearments, it requires a little easing into. I used to have a problem with calling my ex honey or sweetie, but it requires a bit of practice to slowly get into the habit. Don't worry about it. And no need to feel anxious. If you feel like talking to him talk to him. Better yet sent him a text with a casual "how's it going?" to show that you're thinking about him but not overly pushy like " OMG I miss you to death. Where are you right now? I want to see you!!!"

But the texts doesn't necessary prompt a reply. Leave him a message in his voice mail or something. That'll insure that he actually gets whatever message you leave across, and should in no way give him a reason not to call you back.

[allieapplesauce]

Yeah its hard to preoccupy yourself, esp when ya see him at work but can't really talk to him. I tried the "if you feel like talking to him talk to him" he was at the bar so that didnt work. i just dont know im feeling like its off again. just b/c hes not txting me any anymore and hes not like responding back to mine except one here and there....he did however consider my plans for the bar thing this weekend so as far as i know im still sleeping over..but he has other plans saturday so i guess im not staying all day saturday....i just feel like he wanted to get some and now he doesnt want me but doenst want to break it off completely cuz we work together and that's hard.....so i dont know....i hate it being ok for a day and then the next day feeling all anxious. how do people LIVE through this stuff?! i never knew it could be such agony! i think its worse then when im always on my own and i want someone but dont like anyone and feel lonely! at least then i just know its me! blah