Author Kamille Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 All men cheat. Men are incapable of taking care of and feeding themselves without a woman Men don't pick up after themselves and share parenting duties Men are turned off by smart and successful women These are some stereotypes about men that are not true. I totally agree these aren't true, especially about parenting. I think we should expect both sexes to be able to share parenting duties. I even worked in a maternity ward, briefly, and was shocked to see how often men were excluded in the process of birthood. Sure it is the mother who is pregnant, but a lot of men did want to talk to health care professionals about the changes that were up and coming in their lives and about the stress of being well prepared to take care of both mother and child.
lino Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 So what about the idea then men sleep with promiscuous women but don't marry them? Any hold to that? can't speak for others but I wouldn't have a problem marrying a woman who was once promiscuous provided she doesn't try to hide that part of herself.
Woggle Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 I would have no issue with marrying a woman that had a lot of partners as long as she was honest about and didn't try to use and play guys.
OpenBook Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 the only true words spoken in this thread IMO, all the rest is just people being bitter, sorry Hey, I'm bitter!! :D
Hoffle Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Men use their fists to hurt people and women use emotion and the mind to hurt people.
OpenBook Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 What I have found to be true though is: Men love bitches. Being nice to men is a turn off to them... Being nice to them will actually work against you. Pursuing them is total turn off. Totally agree. I think it's because when a man is with a bitch, he doesn't have to worry about what to say or how to act. She takes care of that in no uncertain terms. He's so busy responding to her bitchiness, he has no time for awkwardness, or filling in gaps in the conversation, or anything like that - he's just trying to hang on for the ride. And it's never dull. Men love that.
Woggle Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Totally agree. I think it's because when a man is with a bitch, he doesn't have to worry about what to say or how to act. She takes care of that in no uncertain terms. He's so busy responding to her bitchiness, he has no time for awkwardness, or filling in gaps in the conversation, or anything like that - he's just trying to hang on for the ride. And it's never dull. Men love that. This is one man that doesn't like that but I agree that many men seem attracted to bitches just like many women seem attracted to jerks. What is it with this trend of people being attracted to partners that treat them like craP? Have people become masochistic or something?
carhill Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Nope, adrenaline and cortisol junkies The only truly damaging misconception IMO is that anyone would try to "categorize" myths about either sex at all. The simple act of accepting that there are no myths and no truisms will free one to accept and appreciate each as an individual. Not likely to happen, though
Author Kamille Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 Nope, adrenaline and cortisol junkies The only truly damaging misconception IMO is that anyone would try to "categorize" myths about either sex at all. The simple act of accepting that there are no myths and no truisms will free one to accept and appreciate each as an individual. Not likely to happen, though True dat. I actually started this thread because I see people run into issues over and over again because deep down they believe men have a fear of commitment. I thought it's be nice to tackle some of those myths we operate on (play on?) when we date. I probably fall more into the 'bitch' category then most people, yet I am far from being a bitch. My bf's family and friends adore us together. I just learned to assess my boundaries and not compromise them in the fear of losing someone.
Ariadne Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 And as for men love bitches - for being a bit of a demanding gf myself ( to Ariadne), I would like to rephrase and say that men love confident women. A person can be confident without resorting to being a bitch (bully). All I see is people with a whole bunch of ego, thinking that they are being strong.
carhill Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 I probably fall more into the 'bitch' category then most people, yet I am far from being a bitch My wife calls it "speaking the truth" "Can't handle the truth? Don't ask the question." My main thrust in my prior post comes from the reality that I blow most of the typical male myths out of the water (this comes from the psychologist who is handling our MC). I think I finally have him convinced that it's not bravo sierra (BS) after six months of therapy, it's just a unique permutation of the range of what "male" is. Hey, maybe I can get a "research discount" Actually, I've found the thread very entertaining. Nice to see other perspectives...
starrynight Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 This one is true. Sex is probably the motivation for men to get up in the morning and go to work and become successful and obtain prestige and status and conquer the world. Why do they want this? Because it leads to sex. No, it's not. It can be for any guy who continually responds only as an animal does... ie "i desire, and I follow my desire; I do not think". But there are many guys out there (self included) who have many many things that "get them up in the morning" and that inspire them to do a myriad of things in life. So no, I do not agree with you saying sex is all that motivates men. And yes, I am a man.
carhill Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 You're messing with their "I can use sex to control my man" box now. Very dangerous
Angels&Airwaves Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 This one is true. Sex is probably the motivation for men to get up in the morning and go to work and become successful and obtain prestige and status and conquer the world. Why do they want this? Because it leads to sex. You’re falling into the trap of stereotyping a section of the human race. Firstly there probably are men and women who incorporate sex into the very fabric of their existence, but for every man, or women whose life evolves around physical intimacy and gratification, there’s a man, or woman who refutes and is not inclined to feel in this particular way. I prefer a kiss and a cuddle as opposed to full on sexual intercourse, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy sexual intercourse and the physicality and emotions of the experience, it simply means that sex isn’t the sovereign component in my life. What I have found to be true though is: Men love bitches. Being nice to men is a turn off to them. The main difference between the sexes is that women can fall in love with a men who treats them well even if they don't find find him that attractive to begin with. Women like to be taken care of. Therefore lots of "bitches" will often come back to the man who has been pursuing them - and was there for them for years once they want to settle down. Men on the other hand need the very strong sexual attraction and an aura of unavailability to hook them. Being nice to them will actually work against you. Pursuing them is total turn off. Again, some men enjoy what you have described here, but I don’t. I’m not attracted to women who are shallow, dishonest and boring which best describes the type of woman you have described in your post. Women in the past have been highly disgusting and abhorrent to me that I have grown up with all the self-esteem, confidence and self worth of the hunchback of Notre Darn. It’s quite the pleasantry when women are nice to me and are positive about me; it helps my self-esteem, confidence and self worth ten folds. I'm attracted to girls who are kind, generous, articulate, intelligent and good natured; of course I have to physical admire them, but who doesn’t? As for a girl being nice to me turning me off? Well it won’t turn me on either, but it’s one way to my heart.
sally4sara Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 Men loving women who are b1tches to them While I have met a few professional doormats, I find little fact in this statement. Men don't like to be stepped on and jerked around. They like a woman who can tell them their preferences and stand up for what they want. Women who are the opposite of this tend to be the "I don't know, whatever you want to do, where ever you want to go, whatever movie you want to see". Dating a person like that puts all the burden on them and they never get the satisfaction in knowing they made the right choice or not. This statement isn't just a damaging myth for men, it is a damaging one for women too. It is insulting to men because it makes them sound like they prefer to be kicked dogs. It is insulting to women because it makes it sound like the only way to not come off like a b1tch is to be meek and have no wants or opinions. Not to mention how it can motivate people to not be themselves in a relationship. If every woman listened to this, they would begin to put effort into being more difficult to deal with than they really were and that would be wasted effort. The guy wouldn't be getting to know who they really were and you'd never be able to know if they really liked you. Women don't know what they want. Maybe yeah, when a person is really young (men and women alike) they may not know enough yet to be able to say what they really want. But through gaining knowledge of what is out there for the wanting, you become better able to make these choices. I have known for a long time what I want and I think most people do, but not everyone has enough belief in themselves to stand up for it. Women grow up dealing with their choices constantly being questioned more often than men from an early age. It starts with our parents. Johnny makes a choice in the toy aisle and mom and dad might not think its the best one, but it was Johnny's choice and he will either be happy with it or not. Jane, however, is asking for the dirt bike over the princess pony one and instead of it being her choice, mom and dad say "oh honey, are you SURE? wouldn't you REALLY prefer the pink one?" Women just doubt their choices more once they are made because they've never not had them questioned.
mental_traveller Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 I totally agree. Notice how when a guy is in the mood for it, they would succumb to the lowest of the low, but then afterwards when they get sexual release, they're attitude totally changes. True story: my ex used to always shower me with attention before we did the deed, but then afterwards, the only thing his attention would be focused on is his computer. What you say is true when a guy is not really that into the girl. However, if he's really into her, then he's still interested even after sex.
mental_traveller Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 This one is true. Sex is probably the motivation for men to get up in the morning and go to work and become successful and obtain prestige and status and conquer the world. Why do they want this? Because it leads to sex. Those things don't lead to sex. Do you think George Bush or Bill Gates have lots of mistresses? There are guys on minimum wage who have more women in a year than most billionaires have had in their entire lives. You don't need status or success to get laid. Sex is easy to get for pretty much nothing. Why spend months and years pursuing success, which is hard to achieve, just to get laid, when you could instead just go to nightclubs and bars, chat up girls out and about in the city, or surf online dating sites and score that way? It makes no sense. If you want sex, then do things that lead to quick, free, easy sex. If you want money, success etc, do the things that lead to that (which takes a lot longer).
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