Joebo Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Ok, it pains me to admit this but I broke my NC today despite my best efforts. I have so many things of her lying around that I just got p****d off with the reminders. I packed them up then called to say I'll be dropping these over. The truth is, I've been hanging onto them in hope.... Firstly, I should say that my ex is quite an emotional person. She left because she wasn't getting what she wanted. Then I offered it to her and ever since she's been like 'I don't know what I want, I'm just unhappy all the time at the moment. I'm all over the place.' She was pretty angry that I wanted to drop all of her things off. Then she starts to tell me that she spent most of the night in her room just crying last night. She often does this recently. A brief conversation ensued then I just said 'I think its best that I do this as its been 6 months of us pushing and pulling at each other.' I said well you don't want us to reconcile, do you? Therefore, this is just another part of the break up process etc.. Then she replies with 'I don't want a relationship with you just now. Not the way I'm feeling, I just feel unhappy about everything. Not just what happened with us.' The phone call ended with her in tears. She was very upset and hung up with 'Im sorry but I'm too upset to talk to you just now.' WTF?! What is this supposed to mean? I mean, honestly, I know that I can start to move on, its been hard but I can do it. However, I would reconcile if its what she wanted. How do I handle this? I love this girl but its been 6 months. However, I know that there has been no-one else and that she is still not interested in seeing anyone else. It is so much harder to move on when it feels like she's not sure. Its so frustrating. I should say that at no point was I clingy/needy/begging/pleading or anything like that. I'm past all of that know. I was just kind of civil and matter of fact about it. I would be really grateful for any advice/views/interpretations guys. Thanks, JB.
AriaIncognito Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I dont think you've messed up by contacting her. I think you need to give her things back. As she said, she's not ready to be back in anything with you "just now" so well, she can't hold you on layaway until she's ready. That's unfair to you. Give her all her stuff and tell her if she wants to reconcile, call, if not, you wish her well. It sounds like you're ready to move on, you should do it.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Moving on is a hard thing to do, but your mindset seems to be clear. You want to move on. But the only thing that's holding you back is your ex. You're uncertain about whether she wants to get back with you or not, and because you don't know, its a constant tug of war going on in your mind, thinking that if you hold on to her belongings she will come back. But she's made it clear, she's not ready. And you can't expect to wait for her. Because you are your own person in this, and when you broke up, the deepest ties between the two of you severed. I think that it's okay to feel angry, but don't let her be an influence on you to try to get on with your life.
PinkRibbon Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 So it has been 6 months since you broke and going back and forth this whole time?? I would go crazy from that. I agree that you should drop the stuff off and if she wants to be a couple again then call otherwise after 6 months of this you should just move on. She has had plenty of time to make up her mind. You are not on layaway until she feel ready.
Author Joebo Posted February 24, 2008 Author Posted February 24, 2008 Thanks for the advice guys. She couldn't deal with seeing me (she is still upset) so I still have her stuff! I said that I would drop it off next week when I'm back in town. I know that this is probably a bad thing as I should have gotten it out of the way. The thing is, and this is annoying me now, in some ways I'm glad that I will see her next week. Therefore, I know that this is not helping. Although I do want to see her! This is torture, I feel like I'm in limbo at the minute...
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