the_otherhalf Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I'm interested in this guy who I hung out with for the first time last night. So it was the usual small talk. I've noticed though, both with him and with other people I've been interested in lately, that he hardly asked me any questions about myself. I would continue to ask him, and he would give nice, long-winded answers. I would contribute a little, but sometimes the conversation would die if I didn't ask another question. As a journalist, I am seeming to have this problem rather frequently. I always have questions for the other person, but I also have a lot to say that I don't get to because the other person never asks. Is this a sign of disinterest, shyness or something else? Is he worth pursuing? Thanks.
amaysngrace Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 As a journalist, I am seeming to have this problem rather frequently. I always have questions for the other person, but I also have a lot to say that I don't get to because the other person never asks. I think it's up to you to chime in when you can. If they speak about something you can relate to you should tell your story. As a journalist you maybe forgot that you don't always need to be asked a question to have an answer. You can volunteer information about yourself without being asked first. It's called a conversation.
SeraBella Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I think it's up to you to chime in when you can. If they speak about something you can relate to you should tell your story. As a journalist you maybe forgot that you don't always need to be asked a question to have an answer. You can volunteer information about yourself without being asked first. It's called a conversation. I agree. I don't ask many questions, usually. It's not that I'm not interested, I just don't think of them and I don't always like to have to ask. I prefer to just talk with each other and relate back and forth, and release the information as we feel necessary. I don't usually dominate the conversation, it's just, he'll ask me a question, and then I respond...but always with a detailed answer. He'll respond with something similar and it keeps going. We just share stories and moments back and forth. We can have hour long conversations based off of one question, or one statement. We rarely have a dull moment. I find when it's just questions back and forth, then you reach a point where you're like "hmmm...soooo what now?" If the responses are just a few words, then I'd take that as no interest. Or if you start talking and he interrupts, or acts bored, then move on from him. He could be wondering why you never talk much.
Replicant Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 As a journalist, I am seeming to have this problem rather frequently. I always have questions for the other person, but I also have a lot to say that I don't get to because the other person never asks. Is this a sign of disinterest, shyness or something else? Is he worth pursuing? Thanks. Being a journalist of course you were in your element! It should have been an easy icebreaker even if the dude was shy i would think he would have got more comfortable talking seeing you were interested in making conversation and trying to keep it going. The fact he was not interested on the first date in getting to know about you, could be signs of disinterest. Then again if he was shy or insecure maybe that is just his nature. If you don't feel that you dominated the conversation like an interview process for an editorial which overwhelmed him Or his answers were not too 'long winded' as if to blow you off or answer out of have to not want to. Then maybe a second date will prove to be different.
AriaIncognito Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I agree with both of the above posts. Usually conversation should flow easily when you're compatible with someone. My most recent ex, we'd talk on the phone for hours, I'm talking 2-3-4-5 hours. Insane amounts of time. It didn't feel like the inquizzition, it was just kinda like when you go to dinner with friends and you banter back and forth with stuff, only it's just 2 of you. Maybe being a journal you're using to asking questions and waiting for answers, but not so much used to being asked yourself?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Like you said, being a journalist yourself, you're constantly asking questions. It's just a trait you've adopted based on your profession, nothing to worry about. But for the guy, I say he's a egotist. He's quite self centered, to constantly talk about himself. Unless he's a shy person, I don't a reason for him to drone on and on and on. You get the idea. Basically a conversation requires two people to interact, it's not a monologue.
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