xpaperxcutx Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Okay, but then answer this. Why would she do that knowing that we are going to talk on Monday? If we didnt know each other beyond phone numbers it would be more understandable. I mean, she said "I might work, I will let you know on Monday." If she said, "yes", but then found out she worked...we are friends at school and have a few good mutual friends, doesnt anyone else feel that she wanted to think it over? Who knows what she's thinking then... obviously you're overanalyzing it. The only thing right now is to wait til Monday.
Author almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 You answer me this. Isn't this the girl whose best friend told you she wouldn't go out with you? Correct? If so, I think you are really trying to convince yourself she's interested. If she was, and her excuse is honest, then she would have said how she would love to go, how she hopes she can get out of work, etc. If she was interested, there wouldn't be anything to think over... What she is doing, is trying to let you down easy, since you do have mutual friends. NO ONE likes to reject someone to their face, or text, or email, or IM. It's not a pleasant emotion knowing you are hurting someone. Most people avoid it at all costs, and instead play evasive games like this, hoping the other person gets the hint, so they don't have to come right out and say NO THANKS. Though I give you credit for asking out the impossible girl, I think if, at your age, my crush's best friend told me she wouldn't go out with me and that she liked someone else, I would have avoided the whole thing. But, it shows a lot of character on your part. I like that! Her two best friends varied. One told me to do it and that she'd love for us to date and thinks it will work. The other said that its OK to ask her but warned me that she might like some other kid. She said if she had to guess she would say no, but that she cant rule out a yes. Keep in mind that the second, more apprehensive friend, would date me and maybe she is mad that I said that I would not date her awhile back, but we are on good terms...
Author almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 I think she'll go to the game with you, but I doubt anything will come of it. Hey, i'd be perfectly fine with that, I merely want a chance, if it doesnt work it doesnt work. I think you could understand that.
giro Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 ill give it to you right now... what she meant to say is "no" accept it the worst thing is false hope and right now ur freakn fort knox for that i can tell right now, when i was were you're at, there was this girl that wanted me over at her house while her parents were gone for the week, when i asked her to go the movies, this guy that she's constantly texting on her cell asked her out too (i didnt know at the time)... she gave me a maybe and she ended up going with that guy. example two, one of my ex-girlfriends, hottest chick at school; we're still good friends, she has this guy that has asked her out about 20 times, her answer is ALWAYS along the lines of maybe, im busy...blah blah blah. when he's done and leaves she looks at me and starts ripping on him about how naive he is. consider those... and they are both 100% true
SeraBella Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Calm down and don't take what anyone says here personally. People are just offering their opinions. You know this girl best. Anyone reading your post only knows what you've said, and maybe what you've said in other forums. No one else here knows her personally. Honestly, I've given the maybe-let-you-know-later response for a number of reasons. Many times it was/is because I don't want to say no, or I couldn't come up with a reason to say no quickly. What JillyBean said is definitely how I feel. However, in high school there were lots of reasons I would have given a "maybe" answer: I worked, my work didn't give us a lot of notice for the schedule for next week (sometimes it was Saturday night before they posted Sunday's schedule) and I didn't always have a lot of flexibility in taking days off...especially if it was a weekend. Also, we had to find someone to cover if the schedule was already up, and that was challenging most days. Sometimes I did just want to think it over for a while. If it was a complete unexpected question, I would probably have been a little dumbfounded and not sure about it. Also, sometimes I just wanted to talk it over with my friends first. I know it's not really "right" but in high school my friends were very judgmental over who the other girls in our clique dated. If a guy out of the blue asked me out, especially someone from my school that everyone knew, I'd have to get their approval first. That was a big reason I dated a lot from other schools...no one knew the guy so they weren't judging him as much. If she's popular, which it sounds like she is, I'm sure she's part of a clique and faces this kind of peer pressure crap as well. Right now, just take it for what it's worth. Try not to think about it for the rest of the weekend and just have a good time. It's Saturday night...go out with some friends. Stressing over it is not going to change the outcome...it's not a test you can study for, or a project that needs researched. Monday she may say yes and then you'll see there was no need for stress. Or, she may say no, and I'm sure she'll have a reason if she does. Your gut should tell you if the answer is flaky or not. If it is, then let things go.
Author almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 ill give it to you right now... what she meant to say is "no" accept it the worst thing is false hope and right now ur freakn fort knox for that i can tell right now, when i was were you're at, there was this girl that wanted me over at her house while her parents were gone for the week, when i asked her to go the movies, this guy that she's constantly texting on her cell asked her out too (i didnt know at the time)... she gave me a maybe and she ended up going with that guy. example two, one of my ex-girlfriends, hottest chick at school; we're still good friends, she has this guy that has asked her out about 20 times, her answer is ALWAYS along the lines of maybe, im busy...blah blah blah. when he's done and leaves she looks at me and starts ripping on him about how naive he is. consider those... and they are both 100% true Not applicable, neither this girl nor I have dated like at all. There is no other guy making contact with her. She is a VERY selective and critical and straightforward girl, she wouldnt/doesnt sugar coat anything. If she didnt want to she would have said it. She can be honest to a fault, mean or nice. I shouldnt have asked this question, I wanted re-assurance but I know that the reaction was good. You seem upset at your personal experience, but its not the same at all.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Not applicable, neither this girl nor I have dated like at all. There is no other guy making contact with her. She is a VERY selective and critical and straightforward girl, she wouldnt/doesnt sugar coat anything. If she didnt want to she would have said it. She can be honest to a fault, mean or nice. I shouldnt have asked this question, I wanted re-assurance but I know that the reaction was good. You seem upset at your personal experience, but its not the same at all. Well we don't know her as well as you do. If that's the kind of girl she is, then I don't see how you need to worry about anything. Just sleep on it and come monday you'll know your answer.
giro Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 (edited) you think it's not applicable... then again there is no median so you could be right; btw you did say earlier there is another guy so...? but you are right, it sucked to live that first experience, i hope u never have to. consider the other one as an insight to what MIGHT be going on on the other end of things. everyone here has great advice, most have been through what you're going through, deny it all you want but any money says that most people here know exactly what's going on and what's going through ur head; u'll look back one day and laugh at urself i promise you this. "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." -Erica Jong Edited February 23, 2008 by giro
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