almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Guess what, I just called her, and though I sounded nervous as hell I asked her. I said who it was and that she might not be expecting it but asked if she wanted to go to a 76ers game next Friday. This was her reply. Hmm, I don't know, I might work, I will check and let you know on Monday (at school). I said alright and she said yea I'll let you know Monday. So is that good? I mean if she didn't want to you would think she'd rather tell me on the phone then wait till in person Monday to tell me... Any insight or has anyone been in this spot?
Replicant Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Hmmm, it's a rather flaky response. But that is why asking her in person (on the spot) will draw more of a yes or no answer. That said, good for you for having the balls to ask regardless of how you did so. I would wait till Monday, the ball is in her court now that you've made your interest in her clear. Best case scenario you've got a date to the game, worst case she makes excuses or backs off. If so, don't pursue it any further. Move on...ask one of her friends instead
Author almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 Hmmm, it's a rather flaky response. But that is why asking her in person (on the spot) will draw more of a yes or no answer. That said, good for you for having the balls to ask regardless of how you did so. I would wait till Monday, the ball is in her court now that you've made your interest in her clear. Best case scenario you've got a date to the game, worst case she makes excuses or backs off. If so, don't pursue it any further. Move on...ask one of her friends instead Well its a guarantee that we talk on Monday at least a couple times and she knows that. She is not the type of girl, in my opinion, that would run me in circles.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Basically, right now, she's the one who has to make the move. But I don't really like her answer much. Either she's really trying to see whether she's free, or she's just stringing you along. Because the thing about this is that instead of saying yes or no, she'd given you a MAYBE. Which means she can always back out at the last minute.
carhill Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Or, it could be BBD syndrome, which commonly afflicts us older folks... BBD = Bigger, Better Deal Some people are just wired up that way. Only the OP would have such an instinct about his intended. I have no clue. That said, BBD syndrome usually would elicit a "next week" response for a Friday game date, not "Monday", so there ya go. If NC by Tuesday, make alternative arrangements......76ers game... her loss
Author almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 Basically, right now, she's the one who has to make the move. But I don't really like her answer much. Either she's really trying to see whether she's free, or she's just stringing you along. Because the thing about this is that instead of saying yes or no, she'd given you a MAYBE. Which means she can always back out at the last minute. Im thinking maybe she wants to think it over. She wont string me along too much because we will talk Monday for sure, and she already knows that. She does have a job too, and it was a few weeks in advance so she might really be checking. Im thinking of it this way. Now she has time to consider it and the more she does I think that it is more likely she will go...I really really think it was an excuse to think it over.
AriaIncognito Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Personally, if it were me you had asked, I would have added something like "i'd really like to go" in there so that you'd know i was interested but had to see if I'm working. We women know it's hard for you men to go out on a limb and ask us, so if we have interest, we usually let you know so that you don't feel bad if we have to give a non-commital answer at first. Since she didn't, I'd be wary that she's not all that keen on the idea.
Author almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 Personally, if it were me you had asked, I would have added something like "i'd really like to go" in there so that you'd know i was interested but had to see if I'm working. We women know it's hard for you men to go out on a limb and ask us, so if we have interest, we usually let you know so that you don't feel bad if we have to give a non-commital answer at first. Since she didn't, I'd be wary that she's not all that keen on the idea. Which makes it very possible that she wants to think it over...do you agree? Next Friday an hour and a half away is a bit different from this weekend dinner and a movie, idk, I will find out Monday! If she said I THINK I work I would agree with you some more.
AriaIncognito Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Which makes it very possible that she wants to think it over...do you agree? Next Friday an hour and a half away is a bit different from this weekend dinner and a movie, idk, I will find out Monday! If she said I THINK I work I would agree with you some more. Sure, it's possible she wants to think about whether she wants to go out with you, but in my opinion, you dont need to think about it when the person is right. I've never thought about going out with any man I've gone out with, either there's chemistry, or there's not.
carhill Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I've never thought about going out with any man I've gone out with, either there's chemistry, or there's not. If only more women had your direct nature Thanks for that!
Author almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 Sure, it's possible she wants to think about whether she wants to go out with you, but in my opinion, you dont need to think about it when the person is right. I've never thought about going out with any man I've gone out with, either there's chemistry, or there's not. Fair enough. Let me give you a few examples though... Last time I asked if she was going to a game... "I dont know, I might be going downtown." The next time I asked if she was going to a game... "I don't know if I will be back in time." She is a very indecisive girl, so if she says she does work on Monday i'll ask if she'd like to go another time, if she makes an excuse or doesnt make it clear that she wants to, i'll back off. Sound good? PS-Neither of us have dated...at all, and she is the most beautiful girl in our class.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Fair enough. Let me give you a few examples though... Last time I asked if she was going to a game... "I dont know, I might be going downtown." The next time I asked if she was going to a game... "I don't know if I will be back in time." She is a very indecisive girl, so if she says she does work on Monday i'll ask if she'd like to go another time, if she makes an excuse or doesnt make it clear that she wants to, i'll back off. Sound good? PS-Neither of us have dated...at all, and she is the most beautiful girl in our class. That's not being indecisive. That's just her way of not hurting your feelings and avoiding a confrontation. How do I know? Because I used to do that.
carhill Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 No worries, you're young. "Most beautiful girl in class" is your opinion or a general consensus? If your opinion only, that's telling. If other, I'm wondering why that would be a factor you would include here. It's normal for young people to be indecisive. Perhaps you're just further down that road to knowing how to make a time commitment than she is. Or, if the above statement (general consensus of beauty) is true, her schedule is indeed so full that it may be difficult to fit you in. Backstory here Is this the same girl? I haven't really seriously dated in high school, but not many of my friends (jocks not nerds-no offense) haven't either because basically my class is pretty ugly. By the time you're a senior in high school, you seriously should be able to discern people better. There is not an "ugly" segment of the population, and certainly not an entire class at your school. I'm going to bow out now because my opinion would be tainted... Good luck!
Author almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 That's not being indecisive. That's just her way of not hurting your feelings and avoiding a confrontation. How do I know? Because I used to do that. Yes, but the "confrontation" would happen Monday in school anyway, so its not like she could just never get back to me. See what I mean? We talk daily...
xpaperxcutx Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Yes, but the "confrontation" would happen Monday in school anyway, so its not like she could just never get back to me. See what I mean? We talk daily... She'll either avoid it by not bringing up the subject, or she'll get it out in the open as soon as she can and change the topic.
AriaIncognito Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 That's not being indecisive. That's just her way of not hurting your feelings and avoiding a confrontation. How do I know? Because I used to do that. Amen. I hate to say it, but you're beating a dead horse here...
Author almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 papercut, you are just the most negative person ever, maybe upset at your lack of success. A couple people who know her well think i'm good and that she would have said no if she didn't want to. I'll let you know Monday what happens... PS-Two of my friends who asked out classmates were both told by the person they asked that they couldnt, and they did another time shortly after. Everything isnt a rejection, but some of you feel it is.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 papercut, you are just the most negative person ever, maybe upset at your lack of success. A couple people who know her well think i'm good and that she would have said no if she didn't want to. I'll let you know Monday what happens... PS-Two of my friends who asked out classmates were both told by the person they asked that they couldnt, and they did another time shortly after. Everything isnt a rejection, but some of you feel it is. I project negativity but in no way am I negative about it. And really to have too much high hopes for anything that seems casual will only deepen the well when you fall into it. But good luck anyways.
Author almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 I project negativity but in no way am I negative about it. And really to have too much high hopes for anything that seems casual will only deepen the well when you fall into it. But good luck anyways. Do you wear all black and hang out at the mall?
Replicant Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 papercut, you are just the most negative person ever, maybe upset at your lack of success. A couple people who know her well think i'm good and that she would have said no if she didn't want to. I'll let you know Monday what happens... PS-Two of my friends who asked out classmates were both told by the person they asked that they couldnt, and they did another time shortly after. Everything isnt a rejection, but some of you feel it is. ^^^ This seems very elementary school. Where love letters are passed around the classroom, and words through friends and friends of friends etc.... Cloak and dagger love at it's best. Come on it doesn't matter the impressions or compatibility assessments of the pending matchup from all these other people. Asking her out deserved a yes or no answer. Maybe (but i'll let you know Monday) is flaky. If she was interested she would have said yes to being asked out and discussed availability for the game closer to when it was coming up if not do something else for a date. At this point wait till Monday because this is the position you have put yourself in. You are not stepping up and making your feelings known to her first person. But you've taken a very passive approach to this. Signs of a trademark doormat, in which women will take advantage of and walk all over.
Author almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 ^^^ This seems very elementary school. Where love letters are passed around the classroom, and words through friends and friends of friends etc.... Cloak and dagger love at it's best. Come on it doesn't matter the impressions or compatibility assessments of the pending matchup from all these other people. Asking her out deserved a yes or no answer. Maybe (but i'll let you know Monday) is flaky. If she was interested she would have said yes to being asked out and discussed availability for the game closer to when it was coming up if not do something else for a date. At this point wait till Monday because this is the position you have put yourself in. You are not stepping up and making your feelings known to her first person. But you've taken a very passive approach to this. Signs of a trademark doormat, in which women will take advantage of and walk all over. What did you want me to say? "No bitch you ****ing tell me right now." Huh? I was way too nervous on the phone and I am sure that didn't make her comfortable.
Jilly Bean Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Is this the same girl whose best friend told you that if you asked her out, she probably wouldn't accept because she likes some guy at another school? Even when I was in high school, if I liked a boy, I wouldn't put him off (I was NEVER good at playing hard to get - lol). I agree with the others - I think she was trying to let you down easy. Hope for the best, expect the worst, hon.
Author almosthere Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 Is this the same girl whose best friend told you that if you asked her out, she probably wouldn't accept because she likes some guy at another school? Even when I was in high school, if I liked a boy, I wouldn't put him off (I was NEVER good at playing hard to get - lol). I agree with the others - I think she was trying to let you down easy. Hope for the best, expect the worst, hon. Okay, but then answer this. Why would she do that knowing that we are going to talk on Monday? If we didnt know each other beyond phone numbers it would be more understandable. I mean, she said "I might work, I will let you know on Monday." If she said, "yes", but then found out she worked...we are friends at school and have a few good mutual friends, doesnt anyone else feel that she wanted to think it over?
Hoffle Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I think she'll go to the game with you, but I doubt anything will come of it.
Jilly Bean Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Okay, but then answer this. Why would she do that knowing that we are going to talk on Monday? If we didnt know each other beyond phone numbers it would be more understandable. I mean, she said "I might work, I will let you know on Monday." If she said, "yes", but then found out she worked...we are friends at school and have a few good mutual friends, doesnt anyone else feel that she wanted to think it over? You answer me this. Isn't this the girl whose best friend told you she wouldn't go out with you? Correct? If so, I think you are really trying to convince yourself she's interested. If she was, and her excuse is honest, then she would have said how she would love to go, how she hopes she can get out of work, etc. If she was interested, there wouldn't be anything to think over... What she is doing, is trying to let you down easy, since you do have mutual friends. NO ONE likes to reject someone to their face, or text, or email, or IM. It's not a pleasant emotion knowing you are hurting someone. Most people avoid it at all costs, and instead play evasive games like this, hoping the other person gets the hint, so they don't have to come right out and say NO THANKS. Though I give you credit for asking out the impossible girl, I think if, at your age, my crush's best friend told me she wouldn't go out with me and that she liked someone else, I would have avoided the whole thing. But, it shows a lot of character on your part. I like that!
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