miami45uconn Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 I've seen on here alot of the people who had been broken up with have dreams alot. I do aswell almost every night. They are the most realistic alot of the time my ex LOVING me again dreams. Also they turn out to be pretty bad and then the morning i am already feeling the sick butterflies. I was wondering, do the people who were the dumpers have any kind of dreams like this even if you don't think about your ex as often as someone still in love may?
chenazah Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 i hate those kind of dreams!! especially when you wake up and realise that everything that you wished and hoped to come true did........only in a dream, then the sadness returns, not a great start to the day. Anyway, i dont think they do (not as much anyway) because the dumpee is going to have allot of things and unanswered questions floating around in there head and it naturally carries on into our sleep. The dumper will not be thinking about those same things, not unless they realise they have made a mistake, then they might do! Its a tough one really
norajane Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 In my experience, it's been the opposite. When I've dumped someone, I've had dreams of them afterwards, but the dreams were about the things made me want to dump them. Even in situations where I still loved the person and dumped them because I just could not be with them anymore, the dreams still focused on the things I could not deal with about them. I think my brain was validating my decision as those were the things that stood out more than the good parts.
paladin1 Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Can't say as a dumper that I ever did...however this post caught my eye as last night, having been the dumpee 15 days (of NC...Woohoo!) ago... I had a dream about her. Used to go to sleep with a smile on my face thinking how lucky I was to have her. Woke up last night thinking I was at her place in her bed, turned over with a smile to wrap my arm around her like I used to and pull her close..and for a minute couldn't understand why no one was there. Then it hit me...that was NOT fun...though sadly for just one minute, the old feeling of contentment was very nice. Aftermath? not so much
Author miami45uconn Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 Yeah, its like you have to remind yourself each morning that ha, your just not good enough.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Can't say that I had. The only emotional outlet that occurred for me was a complete crying session that lasted half an hr.
lbj123 Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I was the one who ended it, and for a long time I had (and even recently, though not frequently) wild dreams that seemed so vivid and real. recently I had a dream that my ex was getting married to the sister of a friend of mine and that I snuck into the ceremony and hid, crouched in a corner, watching them walk down the isle and say their vows. I think dreams can represent your innermost thoughts, whether positive or negative, that you may supress in your day to day life...but I wish i had a better understanding of why we dreams the things we dream... Anyway, to anwser the question, I think its very case by case on whether or not the dumper or dumpee dreams, dwells, and how people deal with breakups on either side is very complex.
D-Lish Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I often "dream out" my demons so to speak. I think our dreams say a whole lot about what our conscious minds aren't able to work through. I recently dumped someone- someone I still liked, but had to do it because I wasn't getting any fulfillment out of the relationship. BOY OH BOY have I been inundated with dreams of him. In these dreams he is often just out of reach- either walking away...or calling for me and I can't find him. He has appeared in every dream I have had since the split a couple weeks ago. In one dream he asked me to follow him in his car.... but I got stuck in a snow bank and couldn't follow him.... I was sitting there helpless as he kept driving away and I was yelling for him to come back. I think that's pretty straight forward as to what I am feeling! I think it has everything to do with unresolved feelings regarding letting him go....and the fact that I felt him slipping away from me before I dumped him. It's normal to dream out your conflicts. It's your sub-conscious working through your issues. I hate it when you wake up feeling so sad and empty because the whole thing seemed so real. It can ruin your day!
lady tudor Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I was recently dumped and I am so glad to find this site and to find that I am not the only one who dreams of their ex, only to wake up and have to remember the scenarios in your dreams will never happen (again)....
aguy24 Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 yeah i have those dreams and it seems the day will only exentuate that dream. although i wasn't the dumper, it was more mutual but i still get those dreams every once and a while and it ruins my day
Pikaia Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I've only dumped a guy once. We were together for 4 years and the relationship had been doing downhill for a long time. As far as I know, I didn't dream about him during that time. I will say though, I was dumped once as well and I could dream of nothing but him!!! The longing was terrible and I'd wake up every morning with a sick feeling in my stomach. It's not fun and I don't ever want to feel that way again... Trust me though, they will go away eventually.
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