I feel like my family hates me.

[unhappygirl]

I don't know where to begin. I have issues with all of the relationships in my life. From my parents to my in-laws. My step mother is not very nice. Recently she hung up on me because my family and I are looking for a fresh start thousands of miles away. Then, my father tells me that my husband & I never have time for anyone other than ourselves. I find this to be such a hurtful statement. I go out of my way to call just to say hi or if I know my dad is sick or has been to the doctor regarding his condition I call to ask how it went. If I don't talk to him personally, I leave a message. But, never a phone call back. I get so upset because my health is not good either. I have Multiple Sclerosis and went through two back to back relapses that were very hard on me. And, not one single phone call to say "how r u?" I have tried to tell my parents that I feel our relationship is very one sided and I am met with "It is always about you!" Life in our household is very busy. I have children who are in activities which takes up a lot of time on the weekends. But, it seems like no one wants to hear how busy we are or I am sick due to my illness. Am I really being selfish? My other issue is with my in-laws. We have not spoken to them in about 5 yrs. We stopped talking because my husband felt as though his sisters child was getting all of the emotional & materialistic support from his family & he was not getting any. He was concerned only about the emotional aspects of their relationship. I saw how this was affecting my husband so, me like the outspoken person I am mentioned to my mother in-law that my husband was hurting. Well, this blew up big time. I was trying to help them realize my husband was hurting but, it made things so much worse. Maybe, I should have kept my mouth shut but, it was hurting the one person in my life who has always been there and cared. Recently my husband and I decided maybe, we should just forget about how hurt we felt and try to move on and never discuss this ever again and start fresh. My mother in-law was very receptive to the idea. However, my father-in-law said to my husband that 5 yrs. was a really long time and said nothing else.

 

I feel so depressed and frustrated. I just want everyone to get along and be happy. Life is way too short. I have been very ill lately due to my condition. My husband and my kids worry all the time about me. They have no one on either side of the family to turn to. I wish I knew what it was about me that everyone just hates so much. I am the type of person that would do anything for anyone but, when I have realized I need to look out for me and my family I have been called "stuck up, conceited, a trouble maker (don't know where that comes in), & lately have been told I am jelous of everyone (this statement is stupid as well. Outside of wishing I had better health I don't want or need anything others have around me.) I just need to get these things off my chest. They are destroying who I really am. And, I hate it.

[EllaDerSpin]

I'm all for keeping away from people who are hindering your progress. Dont get me wrong, I disagree with being unforgiving, but just because someone is family, does not mean you have to allow them to continually make you feel bad. Have you tried having a good conversation about how you feel? Sometimes this just doesnt work, but, sometimes other people really cannot see that their behaviour is hurtful.

[compassion42]

Family dynamics can be hard. Who knows what they are really thinking and what the frame of reference is that makes them think you feel it is all about YOU all the time. My suggestion is to keep trying. Be yourself and be cordial to them. Try to build the relationships by getting involved as much as you can. If they don't call you, call them and say "hey, I had my treatment today and thought you'd want to know that I'm ok..." It may not be your style to be like this but if you really want to re-establish family relationships you may need to put in more effort.