Author onmyownagain Posted February 25, 2008 Author Posted February 25, 2008 Aparently her Doctor turned up at the house on Friday, worried about her mental state. They want to put her on anti depressents but she isn't interested in that. She didn't tell me this but told my dad.
sb129 Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Onmyownagain, just a thought- is your ex the type of person who would use this "illness" as a way to get your attention or make you feel guilty, so that she could then try to reconcile? Its not unheard of.... I still stand by my original comment- if she IS ill, then you can be compassionate and understanding without getting back into a R with her.
Author onmyownagain Posted February 25, 2008 Author Posted February 25, 2008 Onmyownagain, just a thought- is your ex the type of person who would use this "illness" as a way to get your attention or make you feel guilty, so that she could then try to reconcile? I think this is very likely although, she seems to be extremely angry with me still. Going to pick up my stuff this week and she doesn't want to be there when I get it.
smileysmile Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Does she know how remorseful you are and how much you want your family back? Clearly you're identified your fault, admitted it and are willing to address and deal with it. Is this something you've spoken with her about? Yes she does but she doesn't feel sorry for me. She doesn't want to hear how "Bad I feel" or "whoa is me" crap. I am not feeling sorry for myself I am crying tears of the HURT i caused her. She is still hurt I guess and is not in the forgiving mood although it has been 6 mths. She has major walls up at least and doesn't really want me around. I am the cause of her pain. She gave me to many chances and doesn't think I can change. But who knows. I have to change for myself and have been reading many books. Would she kick you out if you try to be there for her? Would she cused you out if you be kind to her while she was at the hospital to be there for her dad? Why don't you be there for her and do everything that a decent husband would do for her wife and the mother of his child and at the same time don't expect or demand anything back? After all, you're the one who messed up? Make up for it in other way without any expectation! Well I can't "be there for her" in that kind of way as we are officially separated and living in different houses and I only see her now when I pick our D up. I would like to do the above but the point is WE are NOT together anymore. I feel very sad that I can't be there for her. If I were to be there or rather offering that kind of support it would give off the wrong signals and false hope of reconcilation..period. So that isn't going to happen. She needs time, space and patience. Well that is what I am giving her. She doesn't know it but that is what I am doing. I am when we have contact going show compassion. As for those of us who may be bitter and resentful, please don't make the mistake of that leap of faith in all cases. Some of us are indifferent which is not an easy place at which to arrive. Other of us are also realistic in that we know the other person is toxic to us, and/or we to them, and we have no desire to revisit the relationship. I am afraid this may well be true with my ex and I. It was for a time. But it didn't have to be. We or rather I should have sorted it out. Due to my insecurities. She didn't want our D to be brought in that sort of environment. Unless she sees changes in me in the next few mths and miraculously falls back in love with me some how then I guess it may never happen. There is a better chance as we have a D together. But I think the ex will never take that chance with me. Aparently her Doctor turned up at the house on Friday, worried about her mental state. They want to put her on anti depressents but she isn't interested in that. Onmyownagain.. I can't remember but did she leave you? She must be in a "stressful" state 'cos of the break up of you guys?
Author onmyownagain Posted February 25, 2008 Author Posted February 25, 2008 Onmyownagain.. I can't remember but did she leave you? She must be in a "stressful" state 'cos of the break up of you guys? Hi Smiley, I left her, panic hit about a week later and I tried to get her back but she wasn't interested. Apart from one visit around this time I haven't seen her since.
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