g1976b Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 ...was this one of them? Quick summary for those who don't remember my situation. Live-in GF of a year and a half said she was done about 5 weeks ago, and things really have gone downhill fast (first a "break", then a breakup, then acting awkward and not talking). Anyway, today I had finally had enough and sent an email saying I was tired of being treated like crap for the past month. She's not even been willing to sit down with me and really talk about things. She surprised me online and IM'd me today as apparently she was out sick. A two hour online chat ensued and it did not go particularly well but I talked her into calling me. After an hour, things certainly hadn't changed much. She says she loves me, and misses me, but just "can't" try again right now. She needs to find out who she is. Meet other people, do other things, etc. I accepted it, but essentially was frustrated knowing it would be "6 months to a year" before she'd consider giving it another shot. The ex is actually staying at my cousin's house this week dogsitting, and I was heading that was this evening, so I decided to try to bury the hatchet and picked up some Chinese food from her favorite local joint, a bottle of wine, and brought our dog up. She was surprised, but was appreciative. Getting to the point, we had some decent conversations (nothing confrontational or "pressuring" like before). Finally she ends up leaning in and kissing me. She apologized and said it was inappropriate and that it was just comfortable. She said she didn't want to lead me on. We kissed several more times throughout the next hour or so and had some more discussions. Finally, just before I had to go she said she just couldn't talk about those things anymore and that she was just too "confused", was sick and had a headache. I understood, got my things together, we kissed and I left. On my way home she texted that it was "really kind of me" to bring her the food. That she "appreciated" it, and it was "good to see" me. Truly, I don't think anything has substantially changed for the here and now. However, it seems like she is at least QUESTIONING some things in her mind. To me, that's success. I don't think it changes anything for now, but I think may show she still has feelings for me and given time may be willing to try again. So, what do all of my LS friends think? Was it a good evening for me/us? I have no more expectations given what took place, but I feel better about where we're at. Or, was she just making out with me to get me sick? :-)
curiousnycgirl Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 Ok I think that is now my very favorite LS question ever. Seriously I think you are probably in a slightly better place after the evening, but unlikely the place you would hope to be. Sounds to me like she is resolved in her decision, but now knows that the two of you can comfortably hang out/be friends. So while the tension is over, I think at least for now the relationship is as well. Do you really think it is best for you to just continue waiting in the wings for the next 6-12 months? What if she never comes back. I think you need to assume that the relationship is over for good, start healing yourself and moving on. Sorry to say that, but it's really what I think.
Author g1976b Posted February 22, 2008 Author Posted February 22, 2008 Do you really think it is best for you to just continue waiting in the wings for the next 6-12 months? What if she never comes back. I think you need to assume that the relationship is over for good, start healing yourself and moving on. Sorry to say that, but it's really what I think. Hi curious, Yes, I should have been more specific about that. I do know it's over for now. I don't really fully agree with it or understand, but I'm learning to accept it and know her decision is final. I'm not going to "wait" for her. I can't. Yes, I hope we have another shot at things. I think it's better if we do it sooner rather than later, but it's just not my call. So truly I will not go into this PLANNING on her coming back. I just want her to think good things about our past and hope she can find her way to trying again. To me, that's why I think tonight was a good thing for me in the healing and moving on. Yes it was great to be with her and certainly nice to make out with her, etc. But it also felt like I got some closure, as weird as that sounds. I can see how some may think it was a mistake though.
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