guitarfreak Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 my ex gf broke up with me about 2 weeks ago and after that day, i imediatlely went NC. its been 2 weeks straight, at first it seems like she was missing me for about a week but now it seems like shes doing fine and is happy.. i want to win her back but i dont know if i can. i think her friends are putting things into her head and are making me look bad.shes been out with her friends evey single day so far.. i was with her for a year.. on the day that we broke up.. i asked her 1 lsat question.. i asked if she still loves me.. she said yes..while crying.. and now she hasnt called or texted or anything for the past few days.. i think her friends are a big factor as of right now..its been really hard for me.. every day that passes by feels like a month.. i dont know what to do.. at this point i've been tryin to keep myself occupied.. ive been working out and focusing on some hobbies.. but every where i go.. somethin always reminds me of her.. i was planning to go NC for about 1 month straight and see if she contacts me at all.. if she doesnt.. i was planning to give her a call or somethin and ask to meet up and hang out and slowly try to win her back? the only problem is i dont know how or what to do..we loved each other before we broke up.. its just that she was tired of getting into stupid arguements every single day.. she thinks it will never work out..
CaliGuy Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 You can do nothing to "win" someone back. They either come back on their accord -- or not. In fact, the harder you try to win someone back, the further you push them away. Right now forget about your ex and put the focus on getting yourself into great emotional shape. Ex's have a way of figuring out when you're happy without them and sniffing around. Besides, this just may be a blessing in disguise. You can't meet the right person for you until the wrong one is out of the way.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 Her friends are not putting stuff in her head. Every man thinks this and it's bollocks. She is making her decisions based on what you put into the relationship. Only her interpretation of your moves and motives are what's making her think about you.
carhill Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 Someone can correct me, but isn't the purpose of NC to augment one's personal healing process when a relationship ends? I don't think it's a tool to game their former spouse/lover/friend, though it appears some may use it that way. I haven't been here long, but this one technique has been the most important thing I've learned here. You can love each other and be incompatible. This is what my wife and I are going through in therapy. We have diverse perspectives and emotional makeups. We're trying to find some middle ground to make our relationship (and marriage) work. Therapy should have been something undertaken years ago, but my caring for my mother diverted a lot of my energy and money. Remember, you can't control other people's actions, only how you respond to them. Continue NC and it will work for you.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 You really can't change a person. It's called "free will". And you can't say that her friends put her in this situation because although friends may give advice, the person in question is the only one who has the will to act on it or not. The best thing you can do right now is to concentrate on yourself. Devoting too much time into trying to get your ex back is not only unhealthy but in the long run you might succumb to serious depression over her.
EllaDerSpin Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 NC really is about getting over it, and healing yourself, that is true. But I do think that keeping small amounts of hope is what gets most people through the first month or so... Even whatever you throw yourself into, whatever healing, self improvement, learning that you choose to do, even then, there is usually a small fantasy that the ex will see how great you are doing now. I think that is just human. Somewhere along the line though, healing becomes the most important thing, and learning, and well, it can be a rewarding ride.
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