Lizzie60 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I was just reading a post about a W who is saying that her H of 20-some year is now addicted to porn... and he's masturbating a lot to it.. That makes me wonder.. why.. Why is he, all of a sudden, addicted to porn on the Internet.. maybe it's something he just discovered, like a child with a new toy.. maybe he finds sex with his W so boring that he rather masturbate on porn... Women tend to blame their spouse for not having sex with them.. but.. I wonder if it's not the W that took her H for granted and had robotic sex for years and .. then.. overnight.. is all 'scandalized' because he is masturbating over porn.. I'm talking about men.. because I don't think there are a lot of women out there getting up in the middle of the night to watch porn on the computer.. it's mostly a guy thing.. I don't want to bash women here.. but I hear so many stories about women who find sex boring, or they only have it once or twice a month.. then get all p*ssed because their H is masturbating... I know my MM from work is masturbating a lot more now than before... I know he watches porn quite a lot.. he is more sexual now than he's ever been in years.. (thanks to me lol) but I can't blame him.. she's frigid.. and refuse to give him oral.. makes her gag.. lol Maybe some women should have a 'examen de conscience'.. (conscience examination, not sure if it's good in English lol).. Just saying.. what do you think?
mental_traveller Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 It's very simple - if a guy is getting his sexual needs met from his gf or wife, he isn't gonna be jerking off to porn for hours on end, multiple times per week. Maybe he'd do it on occasion if he is away from her for a few days or more, but that's about it. If he ain't getting any, then yeah it wouldn't surprise me if he spends a lot of time beating it in front of his pc. To the women who complain about this should consider themselves lucky he is using porn instead of another woman to get his rocks off.
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 22, 2008 Author Posted February 22, 2008 It's very simple - if a guy is getting his sexual needs met from his gf or wife, he isn't gonna be jerking off to porn for hours on end, multiple times per week. If he ain't getting any, then yeah it wouldn't surprise me if he spends a lot of time beating it in front of his pc. To the women who complain about this, you shouldn't - just count yourself lucky he is using porn instead of another woman to get his rocks off. You're right.. but a lot of those guys also have an OW .. the OW sometimes just 'perks' them up.. they just come back to life.. their libido are sky high.. not because of the porn but because of the OW..
OpenBook Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 Men tend to get sick and tired of the same ol', same ol' after awhile. They like variety. I wonder if this is the main reason why the majority of all MM out there eventually cheat on their W's. It's not that they don't love their W's anymore (I think in most cases they still do), or that there's anything specifically lacking in the M. They are just so familiar with each other, it just doesn't do it for them anymore. Even if she tried, there's nothing the W could do about it -- their longevity works against her. The MM needs to experience a new female in order to make himself feel "alive" again. Of course, he would prefer to gain this experience without having to give up all the bennies that his W provides him.
Enema Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 It's very simple - if a guy is getting his sexual needs met from his gf or wife, he isn't gonna be jerking off to porn for hours on end, multiple times per week. Maybe he'd do it on occasion if he is away from her for a few days or more, but that's about it. This is not true. I have had so much sex that I couldn't stand more, rubbed raw for the experience and couldn't have been more satisfied with the variety or response. Then, jerked off an hour later. Sex Life & Masturbation are often not connected.
JerseyShortie Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 I think if a woman isn't giving her man sex or doesn't feel like having sex with him, he isn't doing his job any better then she is. And I think too many men today look at porn and think it's okay. It's kind of pathetic the amount of porn men look at today. That isn't was being "masculine" is about, sitting pathetically infront of your computer looking at women. But that is what many men do. So it's no wonder that women don't feel like having sex with their men. Why put in the effort if he is just going to look at porn anyway? And those girls will always be better because they are newer. Doesn't really give a woman any incentive to work to please her man. Maybe men need to work on giving their women incentives that make them want to meet their man's needs.
mental_traveller Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 You're right.. but a lot of those guys also have an OW .. the OW sometimes just 'perks' them up.. they just come back to life.. their libido are sky high.. not because of the porn but because of the OW.. Yeah I'm sure that's true. And again I'm pretty sure it's because their sex life with the wife or steady gf sucks. There are some incorrigible bounders who would just cheat even if their wife was like a porn star in the bedroom, but I think with most guys if their sex life is good then they are no way near as likely to stray.
mental_traveller Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 I think if a woman isn't giving her man sex or doesn't feel like having sex with him, he isn't doing his job any better then she is. And I think too many men today look at porn and think it's okay. It's kind of pathetic the amount of porn men look at today. That isn't was being "masculine" is about, sitting pathetically infront of your computer looking at women. But that is what many men do. So it's no wonder that women don't feel like having sex with their men. Why put in the effort if he is just going to look at porn anyway? And those girls will always be better because they are newer. Doesn't really give a woman any incentive to work to please her man. Maybe men need to work on giving their women incentives that make them want to meet their man's needs. Well, why should guys have to "work" to get their gf or wife interested in having sex? The woman should *want* to sleep with her guy, for her own pleasure and happiness as well as his. If she doesn't, then the man might as well leave and find someone who actually finds them attractive. Sex isn't a treat to be earned.
mental_traveller Posted February 24, 2008 Posted February 24, 2008 This is not true. I have had so much sex that I couldn't stand more, rubbed raw for the experience and couldn't have been more satisfied with the variety or response. Then, jerked off an hour later. Sex Life & Masturbation are often not connected. Were you spending hours per week surfing porn sites to the neglect of your gf/wife? That's what I was talking about, not masturbation. If so, then I guess you're different to me. I'd prefer to make my own "porn" with my gf and star in it rather than watch a computer screen where someone else is getting all the fun
imagonnacry Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Watch porn together. If ya' can't beat 'em... Sorry, couldn't resist.
LILA BELL Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Men,men,men. sorry but it's not just about men and satisfying them. Its much harder for a woman to get a orgasm then it is for a guy to get one. If a man satisfied his W or gf more often he would get it more often from her.
LILA BELL Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Its not hard to stoke a man's ego or make his libido sky high. any bitch in heat can do that.
JerseyShortie Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 Well, why should guys have to "work" to get their gf or wife interested in having sex? The woman should *want* to sleep with her guy, for her own pleasure and happiness as well as his. If she doesn't, then the man might as well leave and find someone who actually finds them attractive. Sex isn't a treat to be earned. For the same reason a woman should "work" at keeping herself attractive so that her husband is still interested in sex with her. We all require some amount of maintence to sustain the passion. It just comes in a different form for women and men. And I agree that a woman should want to bring pleasure to both herself and her man, and if she doesn't, then she needs to ask herself if she is being fair to her partner. I also agree that sex isn't a treat to be earned. But there are things both sexes do that either turn off or turn on their partner.
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 25, 2008 Author Posted February 25, 2008 Well, why should guys have to "work" to get their gf or wife interested in having sex? The woman should *want* to sleep with her guy, for her own pleasure and happiness as well as his. If she doesn't, then the man might as well leave and find someone who actually finds them attractive. Sex isn't a treat to be earned. True.. for a lot of W, it seems like they take control of the sex life.. they decide when he'll get some or they just ignore it.. and when he stop begging for it... she thinks he's OK with the sexless life.. ha-hem...
blind_otter Posted February 25, 2008 Posted February 25, 2008 I don't think it's necessarily about their sex life. Addiction is something entirely different from just excessive use of something. Addiction is a way to cope with something you can't handle on a conscious level. Usually it's a tool of avoidance. An alcoholic isn't just addicted to alcohol. Otherwise there would be no such thing as a "dry drunk." In the same token, I think addiction to pornography isn't always necessarily about sex. It's about a person who lacks to coping mechanisms to deal with life directly, so they depend on the obsessive and excessive indulgence in anything - work, porn, alcohol, whatever - so they can avoid actually dealing with the issue.
Taramere Posted February 27, 2008 Posted February 27, 2008 (edited) Maybe some women should have a 'examen de conscience'.. (conscience examination, not sure if it's good in English lol).. Just saying.. what do you think? If we post on this board, does it mean our friends and family aren't good enough? My friends and family are more than "good enough" people - but I post here for a break from real life. This lets me focus on the bits that interest me, and tune out posts and threads that don't. I'd imagine porn holds a very similar attraction. It lets the user be selfish and focus on what they like/find stimulating rather than taking anyone else's needs or preferences into account. Where a man's using porn very heavily to the extent that it's impacting on his marriage and he's using it in preference to sex with his wife, I've no doubt that many wives already do, as you suggest, look inwards. Isn't that what the "why does he use porn so much" threads are often about? "Am I too old? Not pretty enough? Not sexy enough? Not good enough?" I agree with you that self assessment is important in trying to establish the root cause of relationship problems...but not to the point where a person becomes destructively self critical. So if a woman's saying to herself "he spends four hours a day on porn. I weigh 200 pounds. Might there be some correlation between these two things?" that might be a positive step towards her making improvements to herself. If, on the other hand, she says "damn - he keeps looking at these tall, young blonde women with 40DDs and I'm a small, ageing 34B brunette. I'm just not good enough...." well, that kind of thinking's just not helpful to anybody or any relationship. Where a woman's making efforts to be a loving, attractive wife but the heavy porn use is continuing regardless, suggestions that she should examine herself for the cause could be totally unfair as well as hurtful. They might also encourage someone who has a genuine addiction problem to avoid taking responsibility for it. Edited February 27, 2008 by Taramere
JackJack Posted February 27, 2008 Posted February 27, 2008 I've known people who do get their needs met sexually, they get it all the time from their spouse and yet that person still feels the need to watch porn alot and/or cheat. To me, thats a problem and more than likely an addiction. Its one thing to watch it at times, but quite another when you're having sex with the spouse alot and still doing it, plus having someone on the side. Not saying that is the case for ALL, but I have known people like this.
blair08 Posted February 27, 2008 Posted February 27, 2008 *I guess the same could be said for some women who get caught up in romance novels or lovestories, or seek to have their emotional needs met by another guy, because their spouse is not meeting those emotional needs. Well, why should guys have to "work" to get their gf or wife interested in having sex? The woman should *want* to sleep with her guy, for her own pleasure and happiness as well as his. If she doesn't, then the man might as well leave and find someone who actually finds them attractive *To me anything worth having is going to take some work. NO, I don't think people should have to beg and plead. If the woman should WANT to sleep with her guy, then the guy should WANT to be there for her emotionally as well. SOME are, and SOME are not. More than likely the ones who are not there for their spouse, or treat her a certain way that maybe they are not even aware of, are probably the ones that is lacking in the sex department. I think sometimes people should stop and take a look and see if they have a hand in possibly WHY their sex life is the way it is. And shouldn't place all the blame on just one person. JMO.
Gold Pile Posted February 28, 2008 Posted February 28, 2008 Often I don't intend to masturbate... My meat pipe starts making rude remarks... I start slapping it.... next you ya know there is a pile of goo drippng from the ceiling.
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