LostCat Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 My boyfriend of about a year and a half split up with me pretty suddenly last week. I'm heartbroken over this but I think I've been dealing with it surprisingly well; I guess I have a busy job where I work with a lot of other people so that helps take my mind off him. I know I won't really be over it for ages, in fact right now it feels like I'll never get over this completely. But, some days, I feel ok. Better - the other day I actually felt happy for a while! The bit I'm finding most difficult right now is the memories. Being with my ex (I can't get used to calling him that) used to make me feel so happy and secure, and right up until the last couple of weeks it all felt like a perfect relationship. I still love him more than I ever thought it possible to love someone. So every time I find myself remembering something, this is inevitably what gets to me - that amazing sense of happiness that's just disappeared since that day last week. There are so many memories in my head and it just doesn't make sense that they are now part of something that doesn't exist anymore. They surprise me just when I think I am safe. I can be doing anything, without a care in the world and then - BAM - along comes one of these impossibly good moments from the past, leaving me feeling like a gibbering wreck again, on the inside at least. Please tell me this gets better. It's unbearable and I just don't feel like I'll ever be able to trust my feelings again (first even vaguely long-term relationship I've been in).
EllaDerSpin Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 It definitely gets much much better. It is only early days. Everyone is different, but I always find it better for me to go with it, sink with it, float again naturally and when I'm ready.
PinkRibbon Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 I don't know if it gets any better with time. I have my doubts also. It is 4 and a half months and I still cry everyday about him and think about him 24 hours. So if it was me I would have to say No it doesn't get better. In fact I fell just as bad as day 1. At least then I had hope.
s_n_d Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 It gets better in time. Its been almost four months since my ex and I broke up but its only in the last month that things have been better for me. However I still love him more than ever. That love MIGHT fade with time or it MIGHT get worse. All that I have left is my hope and faith. The memories of my ex and I still haunt me everyday and at this point it feels like he was just a dream but then I go into my room and see the little stuffed animal and everything else he gave me and I breakdown. Sometimes I just pray that hes thinking of me..Silly i know.. But hang in there. If its meant to be with your ex and you, itll work out no matter what.
carhill Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 Count yourself amongst the lucky. You've loved with your entire being. No one can ever take that away from you. It will always be within you. The memories which pain you now will be those which you likely will look back on with fondness many decades from now. I admire your strength. Go with that. Feel the loss and know that tomorrow will be a better day. BTW, those memories don't fade. One just gets a better perspective on them over time. If things don't work out with your ex, you may never love someone that way again. That's OK, there are as many ways to love as there are stars in the heavens. Sit out one clear night and ponder that
Author LostCat Posted February 22, 2008 Author Posted February 22, 2008 Thanks everyone, talking it over definitely helps so much Ex and I have a lot of good friends in common, so I haven't really felt able to talk to any of them about it yet - word gets about fast and I'm not ready for that. And Carhill - your post makes me feel so much better. I'd never thought of love in that way before. I'll remember it next time we get a clear night.
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