CantGetOverIt Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 (edited) some of the real physical cheaters??? I feel like Im crucifying myself worse than some of the people who post on here about intentionally and physically cheating on their spouses and committing adultery. Im still so full of remorse that I cant sleep or eat right. Im so tired of putting myself on the same level as the actual "cheaters" when most of them dont even seem remotely remorseful...I know what I did was wrong but I realized it and stopped being stupid. Why do I feel so guilt-ridden when my H completely forgives me and tells me he could never leave me over something like this??? Dont get me wrong. Im not saying I shouldnt feel bad for the mistake I made. But Im crying all day, I cant sleep, and I dont want to move off my couch. I just want to get over this so I can be the wife my husband loves to have around. He still wants me around but he's worried about my mental health and I feel bad about that too. Edited February 21, 2008 by CantGetOverIt
Owl Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Try sticking to one thread, so that other people can follow your story and know what's gone on in the past without having to do a search for your previous threads/posts. Not trying to be rude...just letting you know what helps you get responses.
the_dean Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 some of the real physical cheaters??? I feel like Im crucifying myself worse than some of the people who post on here about intentionally and physically cheating on their spouses and committing adultery. Im still so full of remorse that I cant sleep or eat right. Im so tired of putting myself on the same level as the actual "cheaters" when most of them dont even seem remotely remorseful...I know what I did was wrong but I realized it and stopped being stupid. Why do I feel so guilt-ridden when my H completely forgives me and tells me he could never leave me over something like this??? Dont get me wrong. Im not saying I shouldnt feel bad for the mistake I made. But Im crying all day, I cant sleep, and I dont want to move off my couch. I just want to get over this so I can be the wife my husband loves to have around. He still wants me around but he's worried about my mental health and I feel bad about that too. I have done both once. IMO, EA are much worse than physical affairs. You are sharing all your intimacy with someone else in an emotional affair. As for PAs, it depends on how you view sex. I did not feel nearly as bad just having sex with another person just for the purpose of sex and stress relief. I know my answer probably doesnt chear you up but I am sure there are plenty of people who will diagree with my point of view. Dean
Author CantGetOverIt Posted February 21, 2008 Author Posted February 21, 2008 That's the thing that confuses me. I wasn't looking for intimacy or some type of connection. I wasn't confiding in this person. I was flirting with her because I was having fun and liking the attention. Emotional affair sounds like I would have been getting much more. Now as far as sex goes I have only had one partner and that's my husband. I don't want to share that with anyone else. Never have. I learned my lesson I just wish I could forgive myself
whichwayisup Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 CG, remember what we talked about on the other thread...I think before anything else happens, get that CBT therapy happening. Alot of what you're feeling and thinking is anxiety related and some OCD as well. Once that stuff feels more under control I really believe things will be better for you. In the meantime, try to forgive yourself. Doing all this beating up and making yourself feel guilty is not helping at all... (CBT = cognitive behaviour therapy)
Author CantGetOverIt Posted February 21, 2008 Author Posted February 21, 2008 CG, remember what we talked about on the other thread...I think before anything else happens, get that CBT therapy happening. Alot of what you're feeling and thinking is anxiety related and some OCD as well. Once that stuff feels more under control I really believe things will be better for you. In the meantime, try to forgive yourself. Doing all this beating up and making yourself feel guilty is not helping at all... (CBT = cognitive behaviour therapy) I have started seeing my therapist again. I had my first session yesterday. And it helped a little bit but once Im alone, my thoughts start to take over again. I fought with OCD as a child, but it was more of crazy repetative thoughts. I fought it off by talking about it. Maybe thats where my repetative thoughts are stemming from. Thank you again for replying. Im probably going to stop visiting this forum. Its not really helping but it felt good to write everything down the first time. I really appreciate the advice I received though.
whichwayisup Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 Then the thoughts you are having now could be OCD related. I wish you wouldn't leave though...I mean, if being here in this section isn't helping, (infidelity) then yes, maybe it's time to go - But if you need more help with the anxiety and other stuff, let me know and post in the health section... Anyway, I do hope your therapy goes well and that someday soon you'll work through the issues and things turn out positive for you.
Author CantGetOverIt Posted February 22, 2008 Author Posted February 22, 2008 I didnt know there was a health board. I will probably post on there about my anxiety! That might be better. So youll probably see me around there. Thank you!
whichwayisup Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being Physical Fitness, Health & Weight Management And check out the rest of the forums...The watercooler section is a fun-based section too.
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