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Posted
I really have never talked to her about her weight. It always seemed like the safest thing to do.

 

Well then maybe it's time you did. The definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior while expecting different results.

 

Do it differently if you want things to change. If not it will just stay the same.

 

Yes it may be difficult to confront her with this. But taking the easy way out doesn't help her much. I'm not saying that by speaking to her you will get to the bottom of it but it can not hurt to try.

 

Just be kind about it. Show your concern rather than being angry with her. And if she doesn't want to talk about it and throws you out you can walk away knowing you did everything in your power to help her.

 

Ultimately it is up to her to help herself. But you can help her if you point it out to her that she may have a problem.

 

And you're truly concerned.

Posted
Islandsurfer has been around for nearly three years complaining of his GFs weight problems. He even worries about the implications it may have on her health.

When I scrolled down to the bottom of the page and looked at the "Similar Threads" box, 3 of the 5 threads were started by the OP on the same subject. Islandsurfer, since it's obviously on your mind, it's probably time to bring it up with your wife...

 

Mr, Lucky

Posted
Then pressure her to make an appointment with a doctor. Gaining 65 pounds in 4 years, without having a baby, is not normal.

 

That's actually only the equivalent of 150 extra calories a day... like a can of Pepsi. Depending on your metabolism, it could actually be pretty damn easy to gain that much weight.

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Posted

I would have to think she needs to go to the doctors some time in the next couplpe of months. At college she went every spring for the birthcontrol. I would assume she has a regular physician. I know she was going to the health center at college because she didn't want her parents to know about the birthcontrol.

 

In response to trialbyfire I never really looked at it that way with the percentage. I guess that 65 lbs does seem like a lot of weight to gain. However the doctors at the college never really said much about it other then changing her birthcontrol pill. At least that is what she has told me. Maybe they made a bigger deal about the gain and she didn't tell me. I know that people often gain weight at college, with the birthcontrol pill and the according to her the doctors never saying much about it always made me feel like a jerk for thinking she has gained alot of weight. I didn't think that 65 lbs in 4 years was that hard of thing to do. Thats a little more the 15 lbs a year, which is basically the freshman 15 just over and over again. It seems that there is a debate if gaining this much weight is unhealthy or hard to do over the last few response. Once again I appreciate your input and ideas cause I am very confused with the whole thing.

 

Also I am confused about her trying to wear too small clothes and lieing about her weight by 30 lbs. Is she in denial, or embarassed. If she is embarraseed then why not do more about it. I know if i gained weight I would want to lose it.

Posted

 

Also I am confused about her trying to wear too small clothes and lieing about her weight by 30 lbs. Is she in denial, or embarassed.

 

You asking us isn't helping you find out what's going on in her head.

 

Please just talk to her. If I gained that much weight I would want to lose it too. She may also. Which is why she won't go out and buy herself some bigger clothes. She may be determined not to accept her weight as it is.

 

But just wishing she'll lose weight isn't going to help her. She needs to take action by eating more healthy foods and by burning calories.

 

Do you guys take a lot of pictures? Here's a suggestion. Get a full body shot of her with either you or someone slim and let her see for herself how she looks in comparison.

 

You aren't innocent you know. You know there's a problem here but you refuse to address it. Because it is so much easier just to ignore it.

 

That's denial.

Posted

Alot of guys here complain about their SOs gaining weight. I wonder if their SOs were here complaining about the lack of money their husbands/boyfriends make, if the tables would be turned a little. "Hey hunny, I love and respect you but if you could pull some more money, I would feel better about our future." :lmao:

Posted
Alot of guys here complain about their SOs gaining weight. I wonder if their SOs were here complaining about the lack of money their husbands/boyfriends make, if the tables would be turned a little. "Hey hunny, I love and respect you but if you could pull some more money, I would feel better about our future." :lmao:

Yep, my wife does that all the time, and I still don't "complain" about her weight. It's not about her standards, it's about mine. It's why I sleep real good every night.

 

My wife is tough as nails (trust me, I've heard the zingers to prove it) and there is no sensitive way to tell her she's fat. It just will never happen. I can only imagine if the OP's SO isn't "tough" but rather somewhere more to the sensitive side of the emotional equation, and what even a carefully couched conversation on the subject would elicit. My instinct is that it would not be efficacious.

 

Of course, this is all just age and life experience speaking. Feel free to disagree or disregard. Imagine I was never here :D

Posted
Not pushing any agenda, but cutting out refined sugar and processed grains, with no other dietary or caloric changes, really made a difference for us. We love our food too and both love to cook.

 

My analysis is that, once I broke my brain's craving for simple and complex sugars, my whole eating style changed. I've reversed these changes twice, as a control, and found that I was almost addicted to sugared items, like a drug addict.

 

Me too. Recently I cut out sugar/ chocolate etc and cut right down on my alcohol intake. After about six weeks I lost weight without even trying, and I now no longer crave those sugary snacks anymore, in fact I can even walk past chocolate without wanting any now, which is a first in 30 years!!!

 

I know that people often gain weight at college, with the birthcontrol pill and the according to her the doctors never saying much about it always made me feel like a jerk for thinking she has gained alot of weight. I didn't think that 65 lbs in 4 years was that hard of thing to do. Thats a little more the 15 lbs a year, which is basically the freshman 15 just over and over again..

 

I am on a birthcontrol pill, and have been for a number of years.

 

When I started university 12 years ago, I weighed about 140lbs. My weight went up to 156 by the end of my first (freshman) year. I managed to get back down to 140 before I finished my 5 year degree, but in my first year working, due to lots of drinking, eating out, and meal allowances for work I went back up to 156.

I am now 30, and a nice healthy 140lbs again, which is perfect for my height (5'7") and relatively easy to maintain provided I limit my alcohol and junk food intake, and exercise regularly.

 

Thing is, if I gain weight, it makes ME unhappy. I don't like being heavier than I am now. I prefer to be smaller, and am going to try to lose a few more pounds before I get married later this year.

 

Your GF MUST be aware of her weight changes, women always know about stuff like this. She might be in denial about how MUCH she has put on.

 

It clearly bothers you, but seeing as you haven't said anything to her, she possibly thinks YOU haven't noticed....

I would bring up the topic, otherwise its going to continue to eat away at you.

Posted
Alot of guys here complain about their SOs gaining weight. I wonder if their SOs were here complaining about the lack of money their husbands/boyfriends make, if the tables would be turned a little. "Hey hunny, I love and respect you but if you could pull some more money, I would feel better about our future." :lmao:

I've read a ton of threads here where women have rightly complained about lazy or unmotivated husbands that won't adequately support their families. And I agree, it's analogous to the weight complaint...

 

Mr. Lucky

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