imstunned Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Okay. Its been a while since I posted. I had to think about where to put this seing as I'm not an OW anymore - but as the emotions I have relate to my ex MM I thought it made sense to put it here. Its been months since I was thrown well and truly under the bus. Its been a good couple of months or even three since we last spoke, and six months since I even saw him. I am now way near the mess I was when everything first happened, but this man is still in my heart and mind. I am fed up of it and want to be OVER IT. I recently had a problem with my phone. I had to change back to my old mobile. I found lots of text messages Of the "if he is dead it wont have been quick" variety. Then I got a text. You could have transported me back in time. That text tone just brought everything right back as though it were all happening right now and not months ago. Then two weeks ago I passed what would I guess of been an anniversary. Then valentines day, and now its my birthday. Last year was my worst birthday ever. This one isnt shaping up to be much better Am I just struggling so much becasue I have had such a lot of triggers all at once? How long is this going to take for me to heal from this A**HOLE and move on. I cant even look at pictures of young men with kids. It tears me apart. I'm sorry to post - I guess I really just need to offload. I'm struggling, and its really wearing me down x
nellstar Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I believe you're struggling because like you said, a few things have triggered all at the same time. It is never easy going through this.. especially alone. Oh dear, I can't give you a specific frame of time to heal from this pain.... all I know is that it will take a very long time if that person means a lot to you. What helped me to get over someone was to think of how bad he treated me. This is not enough but I hope it helps a bit. Don't be sorry for posting... if it helps you to let it out here... do that!
marlena Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Stun, How odd! I was thinking of you before I logged in and wondering how you are as you haven't posted in so long. I'll be honest with you. I still think of my ex who pulled basically the same number as yours did on me. And it's been almost a year. Of course, I am not in that horrible frenzy I was in the first couple of months but yes, he does intrude into my thoughts. And not in a nice way. I guess I still feel hurt and injured by his wild concoctions and hurtful lies. Although you may not feel it, I am sure that you are bit better-perhaps not crying as much anymore and functioning a little better on a daily basis- even if the progress is slow. There's nothing to do Stun but sit this one out I am afraid. How long it takes is so personal for each individual. I know what has helped me is realizing that I never, ever want to enable another man to do this to me. I need to use better judgement. But some of this "sick" people, for in my mind thay are indeed sick, can be very persuasive and convincing and know how to hide their true colours very well. Hang in there. You'll be all right. Oh, and get rid of anything that reminds you of him. Marlena I no longer.
Author imstunned Posted February 21, 2008 Author Posted February 21, 2008 Thanks for replying to me girls. I know there is no magic answer to this apart from time. But what I find most annoying is that depsite EVERYTHING, I still care about him. He dosent deserve it. I'm sure that a day will finally come where not only do I not have to concentrate to get him out of my head, but he dosent even enter it at all . x
OWoman Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I'm sure that a day will finally come where not only do I not have to concentrate to get him out of my head, but he dosent even enter it at all . x Stun, the fact that you have to think to work out how long it's been since you spoke, since you saw him, since he sold you out... shows how far you've come already. Not so long ago you could have said, down to the minute, without a pause. You're getting there! It does take time. But it's moving, and you're already further than you'd have imagined just a short while back. (((hugs)))
whichwayisup Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 All you can do is grieve the loss...I wish I could say more to make you feel better, so here's a hug instead!
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