Austerity Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I've been with this guy for over a year now and truly love him to pieces. I've had several serious relationships in the past and none of them have made me this happy. Although, of course, there's a problem (or else I wouldn't be here)! The start of our relationship was very rocky. He told me that he liked me as I was having a guy from out-of-state over that, although it was basically for sex, cared about and would have had a relationship with were it not for other circumstances. I was single, I had no idea my current boyfriend liked me. He let me know the morning the other guy was arriving. I had had a crush on my current guy for awhile but always pushed it to the side and when he told me while I had this guy over it was like.... a mind****, I guess. But, alas, I slept with this guy. And apparently, it was pretty devastating for my current boyfriend as he liked me a whole lot more than I could even know, didn't even know I'd end up dating him. I am his first lover and serious girlfriend and he's experienced basically every "first" with me. So it's been over a year, and he's continually emo and upset about it and quite frankly it's poisoning out relationship. He's been very rude and neglectful to me lately, and I called him out on it tonight and he said. "As much as I still love you, which I do, i don't know, I jsut don't really feel like I'm happy with the relationship, and yes, it's because of "past things"" He also said that he loves me and doesn't want to break up with me. He also said that he doesn't think that this is something that is "get over able" So wtf? Contradictory much? I worry he's too young and inexperienced, he's 19, I'm 21. :\ What can I do? I'm so distraught, I don't want to lose him. Help !
Audg1964 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I've been with this guy for over a year now and truly love him to pieces. I've had several serious relationships in the past and none of them have made me this happy. Although, of course, there's a problem (or else I wouldn't be here)! The start of our relationship was very rocky. He told me that he liked me as I was having a guy from out-of-state over that, although it was basically for sex, cared about and would have had a relationship with were it not for other circumstances. I was single, I had no idea my current boyfriend liked me. He let me know the morning the other guy was arriving. I had had a crush on my current guy for awhile but always pushed it to the side and when he told me while I had this guy over it was like.... a mind****, I guess. But, alas, I slept with this guy. And apparently, it was pretty devastating for my current boyfriend as he liked me a whole lot more than I could even know, didn't even know I'd end up dating him. I am his first lover and serious girlfriend and he's experienced basically every "first" with me. So it's been over a year, and he's continually emo and upset about it and quite frankly it's poisoning out relationship. He's been very rude and neglectful to me lately, and I called him out on it tonight and he said. "As much as I still love you, which I do, i don't know, I jsut don't really feel like I'm happy with the relationship, and yes, it's because of "past things"" He also said that he loves me and doesn't want to break up with me. He also said that he doesn't think that this is something that is "get over able" So wtf? Contradictory much? I worry he's too young and inexperienced, he's 19, I'm 21. :\ What can I do? I'm so distraught, I don't want to lose him. Help ! All I had to read was that you have been together for over a year. That's not dating. That's a relationship. You cheated.
Author Austerity Posted February 21, 2008 Author Posted February 21, 2008 (edited) Uhhh... not sure how you misread that, but we weren't dating when I slept with the guy from out of state? I didn't cheat on him, nor would I ever in a million years, thank you very much. Christ. Edit: Just editing this to add because your reply made me so furious, seriously, READ, that's so ****ing insulting, it sickens me to be accused of that. Edited February 21, 2008 by Austerity
terrus peeck Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Heya, Some people never get over their partner's past. Yes, they can love you and everything, but it may always be in the back of their minds, or worse, at the surface, always. I too have a past problem with my fiancee. I completely love her but ah it still gets to me even though we been back together since may 07, and engaged since december 07. I am seeing a therapist to see if I can work through my issues, as they are my own. heh. Anyway, just talk to him and see precisely what it is that bothers him about your past. its possible that hes been carrying horrible feelings about you and your past and one day, he may just snap so just talk to him and see if you can help him to get past his issues. hit me up on AIM or Yahoo messanger, my name is 'mryanpeterson' on both. we can discuss it more if you want. I know where hes coming from and it can be horrible. its his problem though, but try and help him to deal with it. Also, threads here on loveshack have been done plenty of times on people who cant get over the past, feel free to search them out to gain others opinions and such. Take care.
lovelorcet Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Well here is the deal... If he is this immature and is going to let this bother him like this then I would say walk away. This is just a symptom of his own insecurities that he is not man enough to deal with so he is dumping this back onto you. If I were in your shoes I would be pi$$ed. Tell him he needs to either grow some balls and lean to deal with it, as you did nothing wrong or he needs to walk away. There is a very real chance that this is going to come an bite you in the butt at some point. I would seriously consider ending this relationship and telling him to grow up.
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