PinkRibbon Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 (edited) Ok I am sitting here crying my eyeballs out...yet again...how many months does this make it now?? I am doing my usual couple hour jaunt through the board and around the internet and I am getting to the point I am so tired of hearing "I cheated" or "I am cheating" or "He cheated" or "He is still cheating". What in the world is going on out there?? My husband is cheating on me and I am at the point I am going to blow a top about this. That is all you hear anymore is cheating cheating cheating. Does anyone not believe in the vows they take when they get married? Or is that just something as a filler between Dearly Beloved and you may kiss the bride??? Does anyone not believe in keeping their goodies at home with their spouse? I mean what is the point in believing in anything to do with marriage. It is a big fat joke now. And don't think I have forgotten about non-married people. Just becuse you are not married you are still in an relationship and should be mindful of your chosen partners feelings. If you want to sleep with someone else then you should be single!! Break up with them before you go hawking your goodies at the local bar. And I am guilty as the next person for chasing my husband who doesn't want me....why why why lord tell me why in the world half of us run around crying, not eating, sad, depressed contemplating ending it all for the love of someone who has or is cheating on us??? Do we honestly think out of the millions/billions of people in the world that one pathetic bed hopper is our soul mate??? I am so mad right now because I miss him so much and I don't know why...he is a cheater. period nothing fancy he is a cheater. Which makes him a liar. I am crying, sick, depressed and tired of everything because of one person who could not give me, his wife, the courtesy of trying to make our marriage work. A 20 something is better than your marriage. Lets just hop into bed with her...better yet bring her to the house where I used to live and have her there. I am sorry for ranting like some kind of crazed lunatic right now. Must be the full moon...all the crazies come out tonight and I am holding the door open for them. I just miss talking to him and having him in my life...not the person he is now but the person he was when we married. That person I miss with all my heart. I just see no way to make this work. I am so physically and mentally tired of the hurt. He doesn't contact me and he has no intention of contacting me. There is no reconcilliation, no emails, no texts , no nothing. I don't exist...which wants to make me stand up and say I am right here and you can't ignore me and pretend your marriage didn't happen. We need to fix what is broken and move forward together as a family. This is so not fair. I am a good person and I don't deserve this. Ok the crazy woman is going to take some tylenol and calm down. Thanks guys for listening. Edited February 21, 2008 by PinkRibbon
btc8 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 First of all, you are entitled to feel your feelings. I cannot even image what these past few months have been like for you. Do you two have children together? Most married couples tend to stay together if they have children and an affair has been committed--an affair can have a devastating effect on children, I experienced this first hand when I found out that my mother was having an affair when I was 15. She didn't know that I knew, but I did end up telling her about it just a few months ago (I am now 22). I can say I lost a lot of respect for my mother back when I found out, and it was really awful to contend with, and I lost a lot of respect for my father too for some reason. Anyway, bringing the other woman back to your house is not only sadistic, and not to mention so below humanity on every moral instance, but it is also calculating--he wanted to hurt you. Why would you want to be with that? Sometimes affairs happen accidentally, but in this case, he knew all along it seems. You owe it to yourself to divorce him and to move on with your life. His behavior is vile, and he is no real man that you need in your life. Go and cut off his balls--but such apparati are only present on real men.
sedgwick Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I'm glad to see you getting to the anger stage! Trust me, it comes and goes. You get mad, then you get sad and self-pitying again, then you get mad again. It's exhausting. I wonder all the same things about the one who left me: were you just completely lying when you told me I could trust you? Were you completely lying seven hours before you dumped me when you told me you loved me (and while you happened to be having sex with me?) I know what you mean about missing the person they were. I had such amazing conversations with him. I felt a mental connection with him I've never felt with anyone. It really was like we were the same person, but then he started to destroy himself in earnest. He had no regard whatsoever for my feelings or how much I loved him. I fell in love with him and then one morning he just bailed and I never saw him again, and now he's not speaking to me. It sucks. Solidarity, sister.
SarahT111 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I dont no what to say to make it better pink ribbon other than u are NOT alone! My ex did the same thing, dumped me, is nasty, had a new girl the next day and acts like I never exsisted! I get so frustrated aswell! How on earth can they treat us like this and act like we never exsisted! Here I am bawling my eyes out for the last 2 months, unable to eat or sleep and just wantin to die sometimes while he is out there without a care 4 me in the world living his new life happily with his new gf! How on earth can people treat us like this and get away with it?!???? Why do they never get what they deserve!! Why do they have no feelings what so ever after all this time together!!! I long for the man he once was aswell but not for the pathetic little heartless cruel kid he turned into! IT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UNFAIR!!!! HOW DO THEY GET AWAY WITH THIS WHILE WE SUFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
btc8 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 (edited) To the poster and respondents: It sucks because you all have entrusted your heart to someone else who totally disregarded your feelings. Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves, some people push others away when they get too close, and others grow too insecure with normalcy or a routine in their lives that they lash out by hurting those closest to them. All people act differently; it's up to us to realize that they act differently, but it's not up to us to understand why one acts the way one acts. You'll agonize yourself trying to rationalize and intellectualize whether or not you could have prevented such (an) instance(s), what you could have done differently, or how things would have been different, etc. Go see a therapist. I am not trying to be flippant, but you need to start capitalizing and do something yourself in order to help yourself move on. You can experience your feelings, and you are entitled to do so, but if those feelings turn into self-pitying and self-loathing feelings, then you can't and mustn't allow yourself to wallow in them. Seek the help of a therapist or a friend to help you move on. Think about this question: What was it that was so special about your current ex that you can't find in another person? If you answered: feelings of comfort, love, support, security, etc., guess what? You can find those in another person, and you WILL. Edited February 21, 2008 by btc8
Lee725 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Hi PinkRibbon, there isn't much i can say that will offer you any comfort. I just wanted you to know that i have read your post and i truly do feel for you. I hope as the time passes you become stronger and realize that anyone who cheats on you and makes you feel this way is VERY UNWORTHY of having you in their life. Hugs Lee
Author PinkRibbon Posted February 22, 2008 Author Posted February 22, 2008 Thanks guys for the nice words. I think I was one of the full moon crazies last night. Crying like a blubbery baby watching the eclipse. How pathetic is that? I miss him is all.
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