miller1964 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 A few days ago I ended my friendship with my ex who claimed to want to regain my trust. But he also wanted to sleep with me. He cheated and lied to me in the past so I haven't slept with him again. I wanted to build a foundation of trust first. I found out he was still speaking with the girl he was cheating on me with. I asked that he stopped the contact with her since he supposedly had been trying to regain my trust. He said he had no interest in her as gf or sexually. That they were "just friends". He said he would continue to talk to her so I said goodbye. A few nights ago i went to his house to talk. I found out that same woman that he had cheated on me with was over his house. Car in the driveway. I called his house 4 times and he called me right back. I asked to meet him at public place. Otherwise I would knock on his door and talk to his girlfriend who didn't know about me apparently. We met on a street corner basically. He arrived furious. Threatened me and said he would call the cops that I was harrassing him. As that is the only contact I have had with him. That made no sense. We basically argued very nastily and he told me not to bust him to his girlfriend. That he would get a restraining order out against me and that would have my child taken away. The extent of talking to him was 4 calls to the house in which he called me back and the street corner meeting...that HE drove to. He said he was trying to "make amends to the gf"...but obviously not to me... I don't want him back. For everything he has put me through....she can have him. But I would like to clue her in...as I wish someone had me. My question is should I tell the gf everything???? And there is ALOT to tell. Or do you think she wouldn't care??? She seems desperate. She's almost 50 lives with her parents and twice divorced....he claims she is a drunk and her son just moved out. He is ALSO going through a very long very nasty divorce right now and I could be alot of help to his soon to be ex wife... as he has lied to her on several occasions about finances and other matters....Should I help her as well???? He just seems to use women...And that just really annoys me. He is almost 50. He has two children....girls....both refuse to see him. One claims she is terrified of him. He has excuses for everything....he is SO believeable. He has been married 3 times....I know - what was I thinking......I still can't believe that I was with this guy at all. Forgiving myself for being so stupid may take awhile. So what do you think?? Say anything to the new gf or ex wife?
sedgwick Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Wait...he was married while he was with you, and now he's cheating on you? I don't think you have to tell her anything. She'll find out soon enough. Also, if this man has threatened to have your child taken away from you, I would take that as a pretty strong indication that you should remove yourself from the situation as much as humanly possible.
Author miller1964 Posted February 20, 2008 Author Posted February 20, 2008 Yes technically - he is married but serparated...living a part from his wife and going through a veryLONG nasty divorce. Thats when we got together.
s_n_d Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Sedgwick is absolutely spot on. You dont need to say anything. Im sure she will find out soon enough. Let it be.
carhill Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Total NC.... His world doesn't exist to you anymore
CodependentKate Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I would get away from this man and this situation. I mean, really. Why don't you reread what you just wrote and think about what you should do. This sounds like something that would be on Jerry Springer. Is it really that hard to figure out what to do that you need to seek the advice of strangers online?
Author miller1964 Posted February 21, 2008 Author Posted February 21, 2008 Yeah...I agree it is totally jerry Springer. I am glad I get to walk away from it. Sometimes it just helps to hear it from others. She will find out soon enough. Just thought there might be some virtue in helping them both out. Thanks!
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