tanbark813 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 So I had a first date this past Sunday with a chick I met online. We've been emailing off and on since December but hadn't had a chance to meet yet because of trips taken on either part. We met for coffee at a place she suggested midway between us. I got there right on time (4pm) and she wasn't there yet but after confirming who I was the barista said my date called and said she'd be about 10 minutes late. Cool, no problem. She shows up and she's gorgeous. She seems intelligent, well-spoken, courteous. Everything was cool and we had a pleasant conversation. The place closes at 5pm on Sundays and they were about to kick us out. I didn't really get any clear signals but I asked her if she wanted to get together again. She said, "Sure." So I suggested a comedy club (she's huge into stand-up comedy) for Thursday since it's the only night I have free this week and a guy I know is actually going to be one of the openers. She said that she usually can't hang out Thursdays but this week she's pretty sure she can. So we exchange numbers and she says to email her and she'll get back to me. I went to give her a hug as we parted ways (she mentioned having dinner plans that night) but got the one-armed hug. D'oh.. I emailed her Monday morning saying it was nice to have met her and gave her more info about Thursday. Here it is now Wednesday afternoon and I haven't heard a thing from her. It's one thing to not be interested but it's really annoying to hold a night free for someone all week only to be ignored. (I guess this could have gone in the rants section.)
hotgurl Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Sorry Tan, That is one of my biggest pet peeves. I hate when people keep you haning I find it so rude!
Star Gazer Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 I still want to see that comedy dude. I'll go. But in all seriousness - I'd give her a call, and give her until like 7 tonight to respond. I try damn hard to give people the benefit of the doubt...
Pyro Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 I never understood how it has become so difficult to take two minutes out of your day to call or email someone. She is either still waiting to see if the night is open (she should still contact you and give you an update) or she is not interested and she doesn't have the guts to tell you.
Sand&Water Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 RE: She's played you, Tanbark813. This is the way I see it. If both of you exchanged phone numbers, then why did she opt out for e-mail? She definitely knows how to play the game, and right now, you gave her too much "umff" to work with. I say: Wait a couple more days, if she doesn't contact you. Don't do anything. Let her come to you. Sand&Water
Art_Critic Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 It's one thing to not be interested but it's really annoying to hold a night free for someone all week only to be ignored. I hate it too... Maybe she is burning the candle at both ends this week and might be having more than one date with other guys and she is juggling you all ? I would think like SG said that you should give her a call.. being that she did say she would like to go.. then maybe you will get a better read on her..
Author tanbark813 Posted February 20, 2008 Author Posted February 20, 2008 But in all seriousness - I'd give her a call, and give her until like 7 tonight to respond. I try damn hard to give people the benefit of the doubt... Well right now I was just going to wait until tomorrow and if there's still no word then send her a thanks-for-nothing email. But your method does seem like the more mature route. If both of you exchanged phone numbers, then why did she opt out for e-mail? I don't know if it was consciously thought out on her part. Up until now we've only been communicating via email.
Star Gazer Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Well right now I was just going to wait until tomorrow and if there's still no word then send her a thanks-for-nothing email. But your method does seem like the more mature route. What does a thanks-for-nothing email look like? I don't know if it was consciously thought out on her part. Up until now we've only been communicating via email. Tan also seems a little afraid of the phone...
Author tanbark813 Posted February 20, 2008 Author Posted February 20, 2008 She is either still waiting to see if the night is open (she should still contact you and give you an update) or she is not interested and she doesn't have the guts to tell you. Yeah, yesterday I was thinking that if it were reversed and I was the one who wasn't sure I could make it I would delay a response a bit until I knew, but I would have said something by now. What does a thanks-for-nothing email look like? "Hey, If you're weren't interested you could have just said something rather than have me keep Thursday night open for you all week only to ignore me. -Tan" Tan also seems a little afraid of the phone... Not afraid, I just prefer email.
Ebeleptik38 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Tan, looks like its my turn to give you my 2-cents (thanks to your response again on my posting ) I think thats lame if anyone can't be upfront about...well anything! Especially if its a date or better yet making a first impression on anyone...and it doesn't look like she cares about the impression she's making on you. Is her beauty worth it? Did she even have a good personality? Maybe give her a call tonight, or tommorow just to follow up? and if no reply...she sucks and has no spine. Not worth your time or worrying. Your from the SF right? Plenty of beatiful women for you to move on to.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 20, 2008 Author Posted February 20, 2008 Is her beauty worth it? Did she even have a good personality? She did have a good personality and very nice boobs. But yeah, I'm thinking the follow-up call today or tonight might be the way to go. I don't have anything to lose. Your from the SF right? Plenty of beatiful women for you to move on to. I'm in the Bay Area but not SF. I'm not particularly fond of SF myself. The peninsula is where it's at.
sb129 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Bummer Tan. Obviously, guys go through this kind of shyte too.... I can't believe she didn't even email back- everyone has time to email. Next!
EC Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 TB I see your going through your own lol As a girlie..I say she's being a lil flaky but lets give her til tomorrow. If she doesn't respond tonight..give her the follow up call tomorrow (shows your the bigger person or what not) and if nothing then move on. I try to stay positive but I think she just wanted to end the date on a positive note and not say no to thursday, fearing it would upset you. But lets keep our fingers crossed I'm wrong.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 20, 2008 Author Posted February 20, 2008 I think she just wanted to end the date on a positive note and not say no to thursday, fearing it would upset you. I'm 80% thinking that's what it was and 20% keeping my fingers crossed.
reservoirdog1 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Sorry to say, Tan, but I agree with somebody above, who said she was either playing a game or not interested. If she's not interested, anything you do won't really matter. But for now, proceed on the assumption that she's playing a game. And, on that assumption... do NOT call or email her. You've already emailed her. Trying again to contact her comes across as desperate. Sit tight, and see if she contacts you today. If she does, then for god's sake act cool and nonchalant -- don't make any issue about her lack of communication. Don't act like you don't give a shyt, but act friendly and upbeat, like "hey, you want to hit the comedy club on Thursday, that's cool." Don't give her any indication that you think she's doing you a favour. If tomorrow AM rolls around and you haven't heard anything from her, then make plans with somebody else. Anything -- go see a movie with a friend. And if she then calls you, say "hey, sorry, but when I didn't hear from you I figured you couldn't make it, so I made plans with some buddies of mine. Why don't we try ___day?" That way, you retain the power in the situation. If she was playing a game with you, then all of a sudden she's the one who has to chase YOU and fit into YOUR schedule. The fact that you're now busy that night and aren't willing to scramble to change your plans for her will intrigue her, and make her want you more. All of a sudden you're the desirable commodity, not her. If she's hot, she's used to guys tripping over themselves for her. To set yourself apart from the herd, you want to be the one guy she CAN'T wrap around her finger. And hey... if, because of your new plans, you never see her again... then she wasn't interested anyway.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 20, 2008 Author Posted February 20, 2008 Sorry to say, Tan, but I agree with somebody above, who said she was either playing a game or not interested. If she's not interested, anything you do won't really matter. But for now, proceed on the assumption that she's playing a game. And, on that assumption... do NOT call or email her. You've already emailed her. Trying again to contact her comes across as desperate. Sit tight, and see if she contacts you today. If she does, then for god's sake act cool and nonchalant -- don't make any issue about her lack of communication. Don't act like you don't give a shyt, but act friendly and upbeat, like "hey, you want to hit the comedy club on Thursday, that's cool." Don't give her any indication that you think she's doing you a favour. If tomorrow AM rolls around and you haven't heard anything from her, then make plans with somebody else. Anything -- go see a movie with a friend. And if she then calls you, say "hey, sorry, but when I didn't hear from you I figured you couldn't make it, so I made plans with some buddies of mine. Why don't we try ___day?" That way, you retain the power in the situation. If she was playing a game with you, then all of a sudden she's the one who has to chase YOU and fit into YOUR schedule. The fact that you're now busy that night and aren't willing to scramble to change your plans for her will intrigue her, and make her want you more. All of a sudden you're the desirable commodity, not her. If she's hot, she's used to guys tripping over themselves for her. To set yourself apart from the herd, you want to be the one guy she CAN'T wrap around her finger. And hey... if, because of your new plans, you never see her again... then she wasn't interested anyway. Alright, I changed my mind. I'm going with this. And you're right, she did kind of give off a vibe of being used to guys chasing her.
curiousnycgirl Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 I agree with resevoirdog1 for the most part. I do not believe calling tonight would come off as desperate - however it really shouldn't be necessasry. Line someone up for tomorrow as a back up (someone who knows the story and won't mind you bailing), if she calls with a good excuse for being so rude, giver her some slack. If she's doesn't call, or is just more rude, tell her when you hadn't heard from her you made alternate plans.
Audg1964 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Bummer Tan. Obviously, guys go through this kind of shyte too.... I can't believe she didn't even email back- everyone has time to email. Next! Have to agree...she's too chicken. Maybe she's seeing someone else, and she needs to cut ties with them first. If she emails you next week, let it go and get together with her. It's too soon to expect anything. If she really likes you, she will tell you. I always do!
whichwayisup Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I am with Resdog's advice. Tan, you need to come date some Canadian gals...The ones you keep dating just aren't workin' out buddy.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 21, 2008 Author Posted February 21, 2008 Tan, you need to come date some Canadian gals...The ones you keep dating just aren't workin' out buddy. I actually met a pretty cool chick when I was out of state visiting my mom over the holidays but I don't know if I want to do the whole LDR thing.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 21, 2008 Author Posted February 21, 2008 So what happened? Did she call?? Well I got tired of waiting and sent this around noon today: Hey, You could have just said you're not interested. It's not a big deal. It's better than making false plans and then rudely ignoring my email. Take care. -Tan And just got this a couple minutes ago: I was out of town until about 20 minutes ago. I'm very busy and have always been upfront about that. Take care. I'm guessing she's bullshytting. Girls do that a lot to save face.
sb129 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 She didn't even apologise? I can get my email from anywhere in the world, so unless its a work email, I think she is BSing too. As I said- Next!
AriaIncognito Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Ugh. I dont understand why people have to be such *********s. If she wasn't interested in a second date she should have been a big enough person to just say so. Being single is just SO much easier than dating.
Author tanbark813 Posted February 21, 2008 Author Posted February 21, 2008 If she wasn't interested in a second date she should have been a big enough person to just say so. Exactly. It's not like I've never been rejected before. Tanny's a big boy.
Recommended Posts