attention

[Jilly Bean]

I take it your weren't around for DateAnalyzer?

 

No! Im probably too new. Is it better than Souplantation? Think its archived?

[FLAlicia]

Those thirty phone calls were from when you were calling to apologize for calling the police to have me leave. Which I did quietly and politely. Just gave you three choices and wanted to see what you would do. Instead of letting me sober up you called the police.

[Ocean-Blue]

Seeing as how you two are committed to getting heard and hashing through the issues, maybe you should consider therapy. That is, if you still want to be with each other.

[flguy]

Stories about him traveling with a married buddy to pay for sex w young girls in Dominican Republic. Blow jobs from strippers.

 

um, none of that happened while we were in this relationship. this is all past things. I have NEVER ONCE been unfaithful to her. In fact, the one time I had sex with another girl during this relationship, SHE was the one who looked her up on Craigslist, called her, went with me to pick her up, and joined in the fun...after spending an hour on a phone chat line trying to find a girl for us.

 

oh, and "young girls in DR" is a lie. they were all of age. anyone that knows anything about Sosua knows the hotels CHECK ID when you bring a girl back. anyway, this was all back in 2006, long before I met her.

[flguy]

The last time he spit in my face

 

As I told her, she had that coming for a long time for ditching me and going out with another guy THE NIGHT I CAME HOME FROM MY FATHER'S SURGERY, and ignored me all night.

 

and hit me

 

Smacked her on top of the head, she was on the bed and said something nasty.

 

, we went to barnes and noble and he picked two books on anger management. He hasnt been reading them because his poker book is number one right now.

 

 

Um, I haven't been reading them because YOU HAVE THEM. sheesh.

 

This is prob his first time hearing this bc I have not complained about him not reading it. He promised to get therapy, I said no WE'LL go together. I brought that up during a few arguements and he said we just need to write things down and say it to eachother. So last night, while he was calling over and over, I wrote down somethings I would say when I called him back. i didn't hang up, I amswered by mistake and wasnt finished writing. So, I called him and began to say what I had written after long thought:

 

Ive got questions about the way you treat me sometimes....and he immediately yelled "don't start this ****!"

 

That is not at all what you said when you first answered.

[flguy]

You know why I think the dude is the jerk here? Because he emailed her the link to this thread to show her what other people were saying about her. He's not interested in opinions or advice, he just wants to put her down.

 

 

I wanted her to see other people's perspective on this. I asked her repeatedly to call a friend and see what they think about her getting upset I didn't text her for 2 hours while with my parents. She wouldn't.

 

I also wanted to see what other people say. The unintended result is I now see what a train wreck this relationship is, and realize I need to get out while I still have an ounce of sanity.

[Star Gazer]

As I told her, she had that coming for a long time for ditching me and going out with another guy THE NIGHT I CAME HOME FROM MY FATHER'S SURGERY, and ignored me all night.

 

 

 

Smacked her on top of the head, she was on the bed and said something nasty.

 

You just outed yourself as an abusive a-hole. "She had it coming?" You've got to be kidding me!

[StartingOver07]

You know what? Everything you write on a public message board can be seen by millions of other people -- including your bosses, teachers, friends, family, whoever. And the stuff you write will live on forever, thanks to (more or less) limitless storage space on web servers.

 

Given that you have both revealed your names and locations, I'd say there is plenty here to easily identify you. I would take a deep breath and consider whether this "conversation" is one you really want to have publicly or if you should take it off line... preferably into counseling.

 

Good luck.

[FLAlicia]

I just keep hoping things will get better and I can convince him to treat me better. I don't care about clothes and nails and hair. He said he wants me to dress up more and my nails are gross so I should get french manicure (matching) Because I like pink toe nails and plain, natural nails and he doesn't. So all this shopping he's tlking about was for HIM. He has admitted to enjoying dressing me like a doll. I hate showing my breasts and I hate being high manintenance. he has admitted to LIKING women that are all dolled up. So, in all reality he said lets go get what I want you to wear. There was a long dress I liked that had a halter and covered my boobs and he said he waouldn't buy it bc he didn't like it. The highwaisted jeans that are out now. He said alright after I said it's not fair that I can't choose something that I really like. then at the register he said in front of everyone: I'll get these but you better not wear it with me.

[FLAlicia]

You know what? Everything you write on a public message board can be seen by millions of other people -- including your bosses, teachers, friends, family, whoever. And the stuff you write will live on forever, thanks to (more or less) limitless storage space on web servers.

 

Given that you have both revealed your names and locations, I'd say there is plenty here to easily identify you. I would take a deep breath and consider whether this "conversation" is one you really want to have publicly or if you should take it off line... preferably into counseling.

 

Good luck.

 

Thank you. I am well aware of this. this is a large part of why I am angry. However, it's not something I am ashamed of.

[FLAlicia]

As I told her, she had that coming for a long time for ditching me and going out with another guy THE NIGHT I CAME HOME FROM MY FATHER'S SURGERY, and ignored me all night.

 

 

 

Smacked her on top of the head, she was on the bed and said something nasty.

 

 

 

 

Um, I haven't been reading them because YOU HAVE THEM. sheesh.

 

 

 

That is not at all what you said when you first answered.

 

 

I started to say: I have questions...and you chimed in DON"T START THIS ****! If you don't believe that is what I said. Please do tell me what you HEARD.

[flguy]

Those thirty phone calls were from when you were calling to apologize for calling the police to have me leave. Which I did quietly and politely. Just gave you three choices and wanted to see what you would do. Instead of letting me sober up you called the police.

 

You weren't drunk. Your wine glass was mostly full (I know because I poured it out in the sink). You told them you had been drinking so they put you in a cab. Yes, I called the police. You gave me an ultimatum. I asked you to leave after the nasty things you said to me, and you wouldn't. All night I wanted you to stay while you were saying you wanted to leave, and then the moment you say something nasty and I decide I don't want you there, you want to stay. Funny how that works.

[Cobra_X30]

I wanted her to see other people's perspective on this. I asked her repeatedly to call a friend and see what they think about her getting upset I didn't text her for 2 hours while with my parents. She wouldn't.

 

I also wanted to see what other people say. The unintended result is I now see what a train wreck this relationship is, and realize I need to get out while I still have an ounce of sanity.

 

Yeah well, I've read through most of this stuff, and you really start off by painting a rosy picture of yourself. Your not a saint in this.

 

In fact I'd say most of the behaviors you don't like about her are in response to you!

 

I think you need to sit down and think about how you act. You don't sound like a good guy. If you want this relationship to work, you need to make some big changes.

[flguy]

You know what? Everything you write on a public message board can be seen by millions of other people -- including your bosses, teachers, friends, family, whoever. And the stuff you write will live on forever, thanks to (more or less) limitless storage space on web servers.

 

Given that you have both revealed your names and locations, I'd say there is plenty here to easily identify you. I would take a deep breath and consider whether this "conversation" is one you really want to have publicly or if you should take it off line... preferably into counseling.

 

Good luck.

 

who revealed names and locations?

[StartingOver07]

who revealed names and locations?

 

Are you not Paul and Alicia in Florida? Paul who is 33 and Alicia who is 25? Paul who works doing something that requires travel and Alicia who is in school full-time and being supported by her step-dad?

 

You don't think that anyone who knows you couldn't figure out it is you?

[flguy]

He said he wants me to dress up more and my nails are gross

 

I never used the word gross. I wasn't negative about your nails, I frequently complimented you on the color. What I said was I really like french manicure.

 

Because I like pink toe nails and plain, natural nails and he doesn't.

 

Yet all you've been saying since you got them done is how nice they look and how much you like them this way.

 

So all this shopping he's tlking about was for HIM. He has admitted to enjoying dressing me like a doll. I hate showing my breasts and I hate being high manintenance.

 

LOL

 

hate showing your breasts? oh the photos I could show these people.

 

he has admitted to LIKING women that are all dolled up. So, in all reality he said lets go get what I want you to wear. There was a long dress I liked that had a halter and covered my boobs and he said he waouldn't buy it bc he didn't like it. The highwaisted jeans that are out now. He said alright after I said it's not fair that I can't choose something that I really like. then at the register he said in front of everyone: I'll get these but you better not wear it with me.

 

And this is something we have recently discussed and I admitted that when I buy you clothes I'm thinking about clubbing and being at home (lingerie). I agreed to take you out and get you some things you could wear other times, AND I DID. I took you to the shops and let you pick whatever you wanted...and what did you pick? Sexy clothes.

[FLAlicia]

I was not out with Luciano and my girlfriends the night you spit on my face and hit me. That was weeks before. you were harboring ur anger and decided to hit me bc I asked to check ur phone records. Don't put info on here if you arent willing to be clear and concise.

 

I went out with my girlfriends and ended up hanging out with two guys and my friends at a local club. I hardly go clubbing but was feeling lonely and bored. I was not out alone with another man. The reason you found out about those guys is bc I told you the same night that I had met these really cool German girls and Italian guys. I didn't have to be honest. i chose to. Unlike some people that won't tell the full story when telling strangers their business.

[flguy]

hes had this same problem with his ex. he will not take a cmment for what it is. When I try to calm him down and say plse don't yell, I don't wanna argue, his response is: People yell when they're upset get use to it!

 

Every single argument we've had in the past month I have tried to stop because I saw it coming. She would not stop. After pushing pushing pushing and starting to say crazy off the wall stuff about how I don't love her, don't care, don't pay attention to her, then bringing up all our past troubles, I get mad. So sue me.

[FLAlicia]

If you put my pic on here it's OVER. Don't you dare!

[flguy]

FYI

I asked him to join meetup,com to make FRIENDS and GET A LIFE. I had him join so that he could have more activities and friends in his life. Thanks for smearing all that Ive done in this relationship because you read someone thinks you'll have no life. things will get worse? How could they say that not knowing ANYTHING about us or the love we DO have. No one here knows the GOOD Ive done. They don't see or hear the past 8 months They hear the negative and immediately say that you should dump me. Some relationship HELP.

 

Somebody please tell me where I have smeared the things she has done for me. Thanks.

[flguy]

I just keep hoping things will get better and I can convince him to treat me better. I don't care about clothes and nails and hair. He said he wants me to dress up more and my nails are gross so I should get french manicure (matching) Because I like pink toe nails and plain, natural nails and he doesn't. So all this shopping he's tlking about was for HIM. He has admitted to enjoying dressing me like a doll. I hate showing my breasts and I hate being high manintenance. he has admitted to LIKING women that are all dolled up. So, in all reality he said lets go get what I want you to wear. There was a long dress I liked that had a halter and covered my boobs and he said he waouldn't buy it bc he didn't like it. The highwaisted jeans that are out now. He said alright after I said it's not fair that I can't choose something that I really like. then at the register he said in front of everyone: I'll get these but you better not wear it with me.

 

In front of everyone? There was nobody there. Yes I like you to look nice for me. Is that so bad? Considering I buy you the clothes and makeup and hair and shoes and bags and perfume and nails to do it, you should be happy, not bitter.

[FLAlicia]

You know what? You wanna argue on a thread now. I'm sorry but I cannot stoop to your level. All ur texts are negative and all ur thread posts are negative. All I want is for things to get better. They aren't. If anyone has some advice, some positive, neutral advice plse respond. I will no longer be writing to you directly Paul. OK Enough of this degrading conversation. I gave too much and now I'm paying for it. you are ungrateful. you cannot see how much I love you. All I put up with all I've "changed." I say I like matching french manicures bc u say u like it. I am trying too hard to please you. I could care less for these fake acrylic go back every week bull ****s.

[flguy]

You know what? You wanna argue on a thread now. I'm sorry but I cannot stoop to your level. All ur texts are negative and all ur thread posts are negative. All I want is for things to get better. They aren't. If anyone has some advice, some positive, neutral advice plse respond. I will no longer be writing to you directly Paul. OK Enough of this degrading conversation. I gave too much and now I'm paying for it. you are ungrateful. you cannot see how much I love you. All I put up with all I've "changed." I say I like matching french manicures bc u say u like it. I am trying too hard to please you. I could care less for these fake acrylic go back every week bull ****s.

I'm sure the people here can go back through my posts and find positive things I've said, and I could post the positive caring loving texts I have sent you. But as usual, and as is evident in this thread, you focus on the negative and ignore the positive.

 

Darn near 24x7 we're together, and I take 2 hours to be with my parents and this is what it causes. Does that seem normal to anyone?

[FLAlicia]

In front of everyone? There was nobody there. Yes I like you to look nice for me. Is that so bad? Considering I buy you the clothes and makeup and hair and shoes and bags and perfume and nails to do it, you should be happy, not bitter.

 

If u can't see that I'm bitter bc u "forgot" to mention that I really never asked for these things, I asked for your love and affection. those are the things that I want. Those are the things you have trouble giving sometimes. It's been a pattern of you ignoring me when you really don't have to. Work, emergencies, even a business lunch is diff. You had the time but decided to brush me off. I don't want to wait 2 and 1/2 hrs for you to send me a txt. But if that's where I stand when your parents are around. FINE. Ive said this. I will put my goals and friends and priorities first. But don't complain when u feel brushed off. It's possible to sit on a couch and send one txt. Why this whole argument over ONE TEXT. Plse don't write directly to me on here.You can txt me. This is for the strangers youve brought into this to make comments. I 'm sure they're completely confused. Instead of getting therapy here you go coming up with your own solution without consulting w me. you know YOUR GIRLFRIEND-or should that be EX GIRLFRIEND since I'm crazy and immature and clingy and stuoid and just a sex toy. You've called me all these things in ur txts. Maybe the true you will show on here and I can really make a solid decision about moving on.

[flguy]

I was not out with Luciano and my girlfriends the night you spit on my face and hit me. That was weeks before. you were harboring ur anger and decided to hit me bc I asked to check ur phone records. Don't put info on here if you arent willing to be clear and concise.

 

I went out with my girlfriends and ended up hanging out with two guys and my friends at a local club. I hardly go clubbing but was feeling lonely and bored. I was not out alone with another man. The reason you found out about those guys is bc I told you the same night that I had met these really cool German girls and Italian guys. I didn't have to be honest. i chose to. Unlike some people that won't tell the full story when telling strangers their business.

 

You were not out alone with him Friday night, that's the night you met him. He gave you a ride home alone, though. Then on Sunday, when I was flying home from my dad's surgery, I called you from the plane and you told me you had made other plans. That night you went out with him alone and lied about it until I caught you calling him at 8am Monday morning...after getting home at 7am. Talk about not being accurate. After you finally admitted it you said you wanted to be with me and not him...yet you kept talking to him for a while didn't you?