Enchantica Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 I find it strange how often friendships seem to change, when you think that some people in your life will always be there the way they always have been in the past. I think I must have friend abandonment issues or something, it would make sense. I was friends with a girl from age 5-15 and then she just kind of stopped hanging out with me because I wasn't cool enough for her anymore, didn't smoke, always did my homework etc. This hurt a lot because I felt she was one of few people who understood me. She could be a bully at times though so I guess it was for the best. Sure hurt at the time though. Then I made friends with 2 other girls and we still remain in contact even though we all live in 3 different cities from each other. I do miss the closeness we once all had at school but we all separated into different lives. One of them is engaged and has a 1 year old daughter, the other is engaged and has recently went into university and I finished university 2 years ago and am in a full time job, not engaged but in a happy relationship. On my first uni course I made friends with a couple of girls and we moved in together. Things then changed and they began to resent the fact that I had a boyfriend. One of them had some issues and always took them out on me. Eventually we parted ways, I felt really close to them though. We currently keep in contact through email, a recent development. At uni on my second course I became friends with a girl who was almost the same as me, same music tastes, dress style , both love tattoos and piercings etc. Kindred spirits really. We moved in together 8 months ago. When we lived apart I have only good memories of us, lots of fun times. But while we are living together, I barely have any good memories. I guess things changed when she started going out with her current partner who is abusive. It just feels like we have grown apart because of our situations. She says she feels we are in such different places. I'm scared to move out of the flat because it will mean a big change again, getting out of my comfort zone and finding someone else to befriend and live with. My friends/flatmates that I am currently with I have known for almost 5 years and we used to be so close, now it feels so different. I guess it upsets me when this happens. I do feel quite sad when I feel I have found a really strong connection and then it gradually dies because of different circumstances or whatever. Anyone have any experience with this? Does it affect you badly? Do you know anything I could do to help myself not get so upset about these things? Its hurting quite a bit just now This is my first thread here *waves*
CrudeMood Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 You can't rely on anyone but yourself at the end of the day. I've had friends leave me throughout my life and I can't say I've held a friendship for more than 2 years tops. Except for one friend who was a visa student learning here in Canada. With the exception of her, people have just came and left in my entire life, yet I'm still trying to get used to that. Don't get me wrong there are friendships that I thought was going to last forever but thats probably because I cut them off before they get a chance to hurt me. But thats my own personal issue I have to deal with. I think we have to get used to it as much as we don't want to. People will come and go as much as it hurts. I know I know it sounds pessimistic but it seems to the truth in our lives at least, doesn't it?
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