Sand&Water Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 When a guy discloses how much money he has to a girl, what does it mean? and Why would he do that? I mean, the girl didn't ask him to tell? So why? Plus, the girl and guy are NOT in a serious relationship/married/engaged. What gives? Sand&Water
Pyro Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Was it alot? He was probably just trying to show off to you.
Walk Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 If it was a high figure, then he was attempting to impress you so you will want something more serious with him. If it was low, he was checking if you're only after him for his money. Who knows.. There could be a million reasons and we could all pick a different one, and any one of us could be right. Why don't you ask him why? Maybe you didn't realize that you implied that financial security is important to you, maybe he misunderstood something you said about money and felt he needed to let you know he's not a penniless bum. Maybe his mother ragged on him yesterday about how he didn't make as much as his brother, and he was attempting to validate himself.
compassion42 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 I'm not sure if there is any hidden meaning behind this type of disclosure-maybe he just thinks of it as one of those "getting to know you " types of things....right along there with what his hobbies are, favorite foods etc.
Tony T Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 When a guy discloses how much money he has to a girl, what does it mean? and Why would he do that? I mean, the girl didn't ask him to tell? So why? Plus, the girl and guy are NOT in a serious relationship/married/engaged. What gives? Sand&Water No doubt this gentleman is immature, has little self esteem and is probably in financial trouble. He thinks he's got to give you a line about how much money he has in order to get your interest. That's also an insult against you. Furthermore, people who offer financial information unsolicited like that are usually lying about it big time. He probably owes credit cards up the kazzoo and may be on the brink of bankruptcy. Ditch this guy or, at least, feel real sorry for the chump!
Letranger Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 When a guy discloses how much money he has to a girl, what does it mean? and Why would he do that? I mean, the girl didn't ask him to tell? So why? Plus, the girl and guy are NOT in a serious relationship/married/engaged. What gives? Sand&Water Yes. People that reveal how much they make are immature and small, insecure people. They lack confidence in themselves and it's there way of displaying 'worth' and getting validation. Probably the same type of person that think they actually accomplished something buying an expensive car. They are 'proud' of the vehicle and never hesitate to brag about what they drive. But in reality, they had NOTHING to do with it. All they are displaying to the world as that they have the talent to be able to make payments. Big deal. In fact, a very sad individual was discussing to everyone how he made enough money to afford 'two wives'. Not only is this a disgusting statement for essentially thinking of women as objects, but naive at best! Ask Paul McCartney! (Hopefully that person gets help.)
AriaIncognito Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 I disagree with most of the posts above. Some people are just open. I have no issues disclosing information like salary or credit card debt. I'm not going to do it in writing online, but I mean if I'm asked, I'll say, or if i'm with someone and I'm curious if we think along the same lines as far as money, I might talk about their ways of handling money. For example, if you're the type that doesn't carry a balance on a credit card (like I am) then maybe you want someone of the same mind. Money is a huge relationship maker or breaker. If you have a spender on one side and a saver on the other, resentment can build. I dont think there's anything wrong with discussing it, to see if you're of like mind. If you dont want someone who's a certain way, why not just get it out in the open?
Cobra_X30 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 When a guy discloses how much money he has to a girl, what does it mean? and Why would he do that? I mean, the girl didn't ask him to tell? So why? Plus, the girl and guy are NOT in a serious relationship/married/engaged. What gives? Sand&Water If he discloses how much he makes... he does that because he thinks it is important to you. Be it a high number or a low number. Yes. People that reveal how much they make are immature and small, insecure people. They lack confidence in themselves and it's there way of displaying 'worth' and getting validation. Probably the same type of person that think they actually accomplished something buying an expensive car. They are 'proud' of the vehicle and never hesitate to brag about what they drive. But in reality, they had NOTHING to do with it. All they are displaying to the world as that they have the talent to be able to make payments. Big deal. In fact, a very sad individual was discussing to everyone how he made enough money to afford 'two wives'. Not only is this a disgusting statement for essentially thinking of women as objects, but naive at best! Ask Paul McCartney! (Hopefully that person gets help.) Seriously, that's not exactly a scientific article. However, as you say... it has some good points. How wealthy? I could probably afford two wives right now. However, I would have to divide my wealth and attention between two separate families, my children would be less likely to be successful and have decreased advantages. Isn't child rearing the primary reason for marriage? It was in response to an article about plural marriages. It was stated previously (not by me) that wealthy men should naturally gravitate towards having multiple wives as a successful breeding strategy. I responded using myself as an example to show that this may not be the case, due to the fact that you would be able to spend fewer resources on each individual child thus decreasing their chances to thrive. How did you miss the fact that I am arguing against Polygamy? I thought it was pretty clear what I was intending to say here. The whole thing is a hypothetical, including using myself as an example, but then I already explained that once and you did not care to listen. So, please don't apply your mental problems or deficiencies to me.
White Flower Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 OK, L and C, take it easy; all that was on another thread:) I think most people who throw the income out early are trying to impress. For me, if you know my story, knowing how someone manages their money is so much more important than what they earn. Managing money wisely is paramount to living securely and that is the most impressive thing a person can give to another and themself.
amaysngrace Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Managing money wisely is paramount to living securely and that is the most impressive thing a person can give to another and themself. Yeah instead of knowing how much they earn you should find out their credit rating.
Lizzie60 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 When a guy discloses how much money he has to a girl, what does it mean? and Why would he do that? I mean, the girl didn't ask him to tell? So why? Plus, the girl and guy are NOT in a serious relationship/married/engaged. What gives? Sand&Water I would say that he is showing off.
Micke81 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Not all cultures think talking about money is rude. My favorite was going to a supervisors house with a guy from Thailand who immediately asked her how much it "set her back". I almost snorted my wine through my nose! He thought this was a very appropriate question.
Lizzie60 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 A guy who openly talks about how much money he makes or have in the bank is a HUGE turn-off for me..
EYECANDY000 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 If he has a large amount of money I would say he is showing off. If he makes less than average because of school or ect then he wants you to know that he cannot impress you with the fine restaurants, and expensive wines. Lastly he if makes average amount of money then I would say he wants you to know that he can take you out , but its going to be a little limited. .. I personally hate guys who have to show off what they have, its a turn off to the second power
directx Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I think most people who throw the income out early are trying to impress. For me, if you know my story, knowing how someone manages their money is so much more important than what they earn. Managing money wisely is paramount to living securely and that is the most impressive thing a person can give to another and themself. Oh wow! A money thread! Yeah, mentioning income should really be nobody's business. And I totally agree with you WF: it is not so much what you earn, its what you spend. And if you know MY story, I totally can relate on how important it is manage money. But I have to admit, things are looking a little brighter. I almost have spending money at this point!
Audg1964 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 When a guy discloses how much money he has to a girl, what does it mean? and Why would he do that? I mean, the girl didn't ask him to tell? So why? Plus, the girl and guy are NOT in a serious relationship/married/engaged. What gives? Sand&Water If the girl didn't ask, then why would you? Whether you're poor or rich...she didnt' ask. You know, some girls don't care. They in it for love. Those are the ones that you want.
Audg1964 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 If the girl didn't ask, then why would you? Whether you're poor or rich...she didnt' ask. You know, some girls don't care. They in it for love. Those are the ones that you want. Oh, on the other hand, if you're the girl, then he did it to impress you because he has low self-esteem...some girls are attracted to big wads of cash...you just need to make it clear that that doesn't affect your feelings for him.
White Flower Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Oh wow! A money thread! Yeah, mentioning income should really be nobody's business. And I totally agree with you WF: it is not so much what you earn, its what you spend. And if you know MY story, I totally can relate on how important it is manage money. But I have to admit, things are looking a little brighter. I almost have spending money at this point! I'll go check out your posts:)
White Flower Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Yeah instead of knowing how much they earn you should find out their credit rating. Let's start a new dating service where the prospective partners can't sign up unless they submit approval for a credit check. I can see it now...'My fico score is a whopping 750. I am capable of paying my bills on time. We won't have much, but we'll be secure if you marry me, baby', LOL. Seriously, though, it sure would be nice to know how responsible prospective dating partners would be with their finances. Next thing you know the fico score will be the substitute for privates like sports cars are now. And I'd take the high fico score over the candy-apple red Ferrari any day.
directx Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I'll go check out your posts:) I don't think you want to look at those! LOL!
Author Sand&Water Posted February 21, 2008 Author Posted February 21, 2008 RE: Thank you everyone for your great advice. A couple of clarifications: If it was a high figure, then he was attempting to impress you so you will want something more serious with him. If it was low, he was checking if you're only after him for his money. I will not state if it was a high or low figure, as it's best to protect the innocent. BUT I do know he's not a millionaire. With that said, it still doesn't make sense. He and I, sorta, got into a lashing-out-at-each-other banter about "Gold Diggers". He accused me of being one, how I'm greedy and only after money. (HA!) So I made it very clear to him none of that is true. I DIDN'T ask him to disclose his money, so that in itself should be a sign that I'm NOT interested to know anything money-related about him. YET he still professed. Why don't you ask him why? I can't. I don't like to talk about money. I'm scared to bring up the topic again, for fear that he'll think I'm after his money, which I'm not. No doubt this gentleman is immature, has little self esteem and is probably in financial trouble. He thinks he's got to give you a line about how much money he has in order to get your interest. That's also an insult against you. How was it un-gentleman of him? Can you elaborate? Furthermore, people who offer financial information unsolicited like that are usually lying about it big time. He was being honest about it. I guess that makes him out to be the bad guy. He didn't disclose a VERY large amount of money. IF he did, then I'd quickly realize it to be a lie just by knowing him and how he lives. So knowing he's not filthy rich, Why would he lie about it? If he discloses how much he makes... he does that because he thinks it is important to you. Be it a high number or a low number. I understand that he might have thought this is an important issue to me. However, it is none of my business because he and I are not an item. IF he was dating some chick, then it would be appropriate to disclose. The fact that he disclosed the amount, gives me the impression that he confides and trust me. Right? I don't know. Because he is NOT very close to me, personally. I mean, he doesn't share with me much of his deep personal life. Again, why would he tell me the exact numbers? Should I confront him about the numbers? I'd like to think the numbers are true, considering he's in the transition stage of his life and in the works of a blossoming career. On the other hand, he's currently dating, last I heard. That means, he must have quite a bit of money to take several women out. Sand&Water
Letranger Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 If he discloses how much he makes... he does that because he thinks it is important to you. Be it a high number or a low number. It was in response to an article about plural marriages. It was stated previously (not by me) that wealthy men should naturally gravitate towards having multiple wives as a successful breeding strategy. I responded using myself as an example to show that this may not be the case, due to the fact that you would be able to spend fewer resources on each individual child thus decreasing their chances to thrive. How did you miss the fact that I am arguing against Polygamy? I thought it was pretty clear what I was intending to say here. The whole thing is a hypothetical, including using myself as an example, but then I already explained that once and you did not care to listen. So, please don't apply your mental problems or deficiencies to me. You may have a point ariawoman. I can discussing this once you date for awhile maybe. However, both should be honest in the relationship where it should be easy for both to figure out. And in regards to the post above, how is it possible the post above is not modded? It has nothing to do with the thread and is a personal attack against me. Cobra, son, I didn't mention you by name. I may not even be talking about you. Not only do I think you have a confidentiality issue, but you either you are a mod or 'in good' with the mods as well. Your post breaks a couple of rules, been reported, and nothing. Must be nice. I have read some of your past posts on here. When you lash out, you seem to use personal information against them, sometimes in a subtle manner. Sometimes not so subtle. My guess is you like to gossip about others, and that probably stems from getting attention from your divorced parents. Leave discussions in the threads they reside in. And learn how to keep things on topic. Maybe I will post like you and see if I can get away with it. But I get the feeling some double standard will be exposed.
Cobra_X30 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I understand that he might have thought this is an important issue to me. However, it is none of my business because he and I are not an item. IF he was dating some chick, then it would be appropriate to disclose. The fact that he disclosed the amount, gives me the impression that he confides and trust me. Right? I don't know. Because he is NOT very close to me, personally. I mean, he doesn't share with me much of his deep personal life. Again, why would he tell me the exact numbers? Should I confront him about the numbers? I'd like to think the numbers are true, considering he's in the transition stage of his life and in the works of a blossoming career. On the other hand, he's currently dating, last I heard. That means, he must have quite a bit of money to take several women out. Sand&Water Well, in the context of the situation, he really might have just been looking for feedback or a compliment or some such. I would not read too much into it if your not actively dating him. Honestly, if he wants to date you... he would probably do much more than tell you how much money he makes. Remember what a person makes does not equal what they have. If that makes sense. Do you want to date this guy?
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