Sooconfused Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 Its the first time i have posted here, so hi to everyone! I feel so desperate, i dont know what to do about my ex. We were together 2 years before we finished a month ago. The last few months of our relationship were very up and down, we were on and off. We didnt get on too well, we just didnt seem compatible anymore. But now he says hes changed and wants to try again, but it would be the 4th time we got back together! Its too much, i'm convinced it wont work, but he is obssessed, he is always texting and phoning talking about it. When we split up, we tried to be friends, it seemed the best option as we have mutual friends who are together and we volunteer at a club together. But i think it was the wrong thing to do now. He cant get over me, but i feel i am over him, for me theres nothing there anymore, i just want to move on with life but he doesn't want to. But when i try and say this, he becomes so depressed and will sit on the phone for hours to me, upset and desperate, i want to help him, he is currently searching for a job and has very few real friends as well as many family issues at home. No one else is there for him, so i dont want to just leave him to it alone. But im worried us being close, i have given him false hope now, but im so scared of saying again theres no hope for us in the future because he becomes so down about it. What do i do? How can i help him? He needs me to be there for him, and it does him a lot of good, but when i help him, he becomes more attached to me. What if he never gets over me? I will end up getting back with him for all the wrong reasons. Sorry its so long, its just so much at the moment, its overtaking my life. (sorry i think this maybe belongs to a different section, but cant move it)
yama8017 Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 I'd say be cruel and leave him. Because I'm in the same boat with him. I also have troubles-- I don't have any family in this country, not a lot of real friends either, because I move around a whole lot. And I'm needy. When my girlfiend said she wanted to date another man it turned my world upside down because I was so attached to her. And I didn't want to give up (I might still do not want to). Even her occational "nice" messages can get my hopes up. Sympathy is what people like me want, but it's not a cure. One indivisual's happiness should not be purly depend on others. He might need your "help". But what he really wants is you and this is one thing you can not offer. So save the poor bastard some confusion and be firm.
willodeewisp Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 Perhaps some tough love is needed where he is concerned. If you are his "go to" everytime things get tough, he will never learn to stand on his own two feet and build the self confidence needed to do so.
Author Sooconfused Posted February 20, 2008 Author Posted February 20, 2008 Thanks, i know what you mean. I just feel so awful leaving him, but i guess if its for the best it has to be done.
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