...Is it unreasonable for me to not wanna' hang out with his EX?...

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

Hi everyone.

 

This weekend, I'm driving to see my BF after I get through with work. I get done late afternoon, so I should be there early evening (around suppertime) on Friday. We normally don't go out and do things. Generally, we spend time with each other at his house. But this weekend, we've made plans to play basketball and then go to a restaurant afterward, which we'll be doing on Saturday. I'm leaving on Sunday.

 

On Myspace, his EX left him a comment saying she wanted to get together this weekend as she was gonna' be in town. I have a strong feeling that my BF is gonna' want us all to hang out. Honestly, I really don't wanna' do this. We've already made plans, which will take up most of Saturday and I won't be there until late Friday, so I don't see when we will be able to do this. Do you think it's wrong of me for not wanting to have this happen?

 

Lately, we've been getting along a lot better. We've gotten into a "fight" about his relationship with one of his friends that is a girl but he explained it to me, and since then I haven't had a problem with that. This is not that girl, though. Partly the reason why I don't wanna' hang out with this chic is that, early in the relationship, he told me he had a dream where she asked him to be with her and he said "No. I have a girlfriend". In the dream, the good friend of his that I had bad feelings about (which we later cleared up) asked the same thing and again he said no. I was happy to hear that he refused their offers, but it makes me uncomfortable in a way that he told me this dream. Is that necessary for me to know, especially if you want me to be friends with these girls? I don't know. I never told him anything about it...this happened a bit of time ago.

 

I guess I'm just wondering if I'm being really insecure. I love my boyfriend very much but before he started dating me, he told me that in a relationship, he never compromises his relationships with females. He meant that his relationships with girls are just as friends and that he thinks it's silly when people have to compromise that for a relationship. I'm not asking him to not be friends with this girl, but I do honestly feel a little weird about it. Is that wrong of me? I wonder why I feel this way. I know he's not cheating. She has a boyfriend, too.

 

I know he will bring this up to me on the phone tonight and I don't know what to say. I really don't want to get into it about it. We rarely ever fight and we've both been doing so well lately, after our mini (VERY mini...one day) break. He loves me a lot and cares about me and vice versa.

[witabix]

He has made his thoughts/rules on it clear and before you started dating. It should be easy for you to explain to him, the way you explained above, your thoughts.

 

However he has already made it clear that he 'does not compromise his relationships with girls'. Thats his choice to make and yours is to decide if can handle it or not.

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

I understand that. You're right. He did make this clear to me before we started dating. I didn't realize to what extent he meant that comment, but I'm starting to understand. I just wonder if it's incredibly rude for me to not want to hang out with his EX this weekend. This could become a big problem for me.

[s_n_d]

It is NOT unreasonable. I would feel uncomfortable in that situation as well.

I think you need to tell him how you feel. Im sure he will understand.

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

Yes, I'm planning on telling him how I feel. I'm just afraid that he'll find it really silly.

[s_n_d]

Its likely he will find it silly but if its bothering you this much, you have to do it.