Replicant Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 What is everybodys feeling on the opposite sex having multiple opposiye sex friends. Many of them being exes that still pursue them. one of them being someone they share mutual friends with. Opposite sex friends is fine, a trail of ex's is definitely shady, as to why they need them around encouraging this ongoing pursuit.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 I wouldnt have a problem with my bf still being aquainted with his exes. As long as they dont go out together alone, she dont call him evrytime she has a problem, and she dont depend on him. If I feel like something is going on still between the two then I will have to investigate it. I think you have to pay a litle more attention to exes because they feel like they are able to easily manipulate the guy/girl. Bottom line , I dont mind conversing but there is no reason to go out with your ex, and console them when they are having relationship problems etc etc.
Pyro Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Messenger, What is it you don't get here? You have four pages of everyone telling you basically the same thing. Exactly. Go back and re-read this entire thread, two times if you have to and you will have more then enough info and advice on what to do and how to do it.
Florida Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 (edited) That was a strange PM messenger, it occured to me that between: the title of the thread ("everyone should comment on this"), the PM reminding me to give the advice (well it was ambiguous - who knows) and your insisting you get an answer in the face of ALL the advice against it.... do you see? You don't want to accept that you have to walk away, you want to force HER to change. Just the way you are so strong headed and repeating the same thing. Do you see that? Ya know, I can understand that. I've done it too, but it comes with a price. A high price. Expect a lot of fighting, a lot of resentment, you are asking someone to change. When I met my BF he had female friends, AND another circle of new friends, who had strange social mores about what being in a relationship meant, to put it nicely. Fast forward, he did cut contact with those female friends , AND even got a new circle of friends when we encounterd some pushy bit&h . But: he was willing to compromise from the beginning. But ex's , I don't know man. That isn't even near friendships, that is back up and constant stress. I would just be repeating what SG, and Norajane and Pyro and everyone else on this thread said. She isn't giving you much to work with.... She needs to TELL you: -she will contact them less, nail down what that means and if you are comfortable with that. -She has to admit who is flirting with her, and cut them out. Just stop contacting them period. -She has to at some point start getting new friends, trust me you don't want to be in that circle of friends for too long. -She has to also ditch and avoid her current circle of friends. -Introduce you to each and every friend of hers, like Oppath said, you have to be very visible. She completely failed that with the myspace status, so I don't see much point here, she is already giving you the messaage her way or the highway. Do you think she will do any of that? Because that is the only way this will work. If she can't , or doesn't want to, then it's on you if you stay and are miserable. Plus she already told you she won't be alone without her ex's. Little does she know how alone she will be, when those ex's ditch her for their new GF. So is life. Edited February 20, 2008 by Florida
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