SadShamrock Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 I read recently that someone felt lonely even when she was with her boyfriend. I couldn't find the post again. This struck such a chord with me. I often felt lonely with my ex-boyfriend. Even in our most intimate moments- I would miss him or feel so lonely. I am not sure if it was caused by insecurity or if it was instinct telling me that he was not right for me, or maybe it was just me being cynical that he would not be there long- maybe all three? I never trusted that he could sustain the emotional connect. Sometimes he couldn't. He was so preoccupied with the things that interested him, and I felt sometimes like an afterthought to him, while he consumed my thoughts. Anyway, thinking about how I felt lonely when I was him- made me really sad. Makes me feel like there is something wrong with me. I think I just got to a point with him though- that we had so much history between us and we became stagnant. I could no longer see a future with him, and we were slowly losing each other, long before broke up. It sucks a lot to love someone that you just can't be with. Bleh. The saddest thing though is I don't think I feel as lonely anymore, as I did with him. Makes me really sad though that we had to hurt each other so badly in the end to finally break away from one another. I don't think we could have walked away from each other without trying to hurt the other so callously in the end though. That sucks so much. I never thought about that before and it hurts that it came to that. I'm rambling. Sorry. I've felt so good lately. Tonight I just miss him so badly, and I hate what we did to each other.
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