mark982 Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 i hope i'm posting in the right forum. i have to have the best mother/father in law that there is. i honestly mean that.so here's my problem. in laws are 82. sunday dinner is always at their house.they are a big family. mom in law does all the cooking,everyone sits on their behinds and does not lift a finger to help(except my daughter)they eat,put plates,etc on counter and leave. noone even offers to help w/ anything.you can see in their eyes they are exhausted,sure i'll help w/ the dishes and whatever needs done.but they are proud people.what's a good way to try and get them to help out? w/o causing a major family fight.
Ping Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Hi. You love your mother/father in law, and you want to do something for them. All the things you do, you know, is the way you express your love. You needn't to make a comparison with your family members. Besides, It's stupid to publish yourself for others' mistakes.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Could you maybe suggest to the rest of the family that you thought you would like to arrange everyone cooking for them for a change to show your appreciation? Or perhaps buying the food and trying a new recipe for them? Sounds like a nice family...maybe they're just used to the parents dishing up dinner and haven't thought about doing it for them once in a while?
Ronni_W Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 what's a good way to try and get them to help out? I'd try just pulling aside my brothers- and sisters-in-law and do something like, "Is it just me, or do our family get-togethers seem to be getting somewhat more tiring for Mom and Dad than in the past?" Likely the situation just needs a bit of courage and diplomacy to facilitate greater awareness. And then you can ask for suggestions or offer your own solutions like making it more of a pot luck thing, getting the teens involved with clean-up, etc. If others aren't yet ready to admit that Mom and Dad are getting on in years, just keep doing what you have been. At clean-up, perhaps whisper to a couple of the older grandkids that you can use a few volunteers in the kitchen -- and just accept whoever does and does not show up.
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