amymarieca Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 I will give you a little background of my relationship before asking the question. I have been seeing this guy for 2 months. I met him at work (I am a teacher). He is 33 and I am 26. Things are going well between us and we seem to see eye-to-eye on many things. The thing is that I know I am falling in love with him. Do you think this is too soon? I am not normally one to believe that a woman should tell a man these feelings first, but I just can't help how I feel. I know that he really likes me. Should I come out and say it, or wait till he tells me? I am so afraid that I would be rejected. What do you think?
BlueHaiku Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 If you feel it, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't say it. Butrecognize that two months is not very long. You two are still in the "honeymoon" phase where everyone is on their best behavior and everything seems golden and great. That will fade and then you'll start seeing the areas where you *don't* agree perfectly (no two people are perfectly exactly completely the same). This is not a reason to not say "I love you." But it is something you should be aware of.
fray718 Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 I will give you a little background of my relationship before asking the question. I have been seeing this guy for 2 months. I met him at work (I am a teacher). He is 33 and I am 26. Things are going well between us and we seem to see eye-to-eye on many things. The thing is that I know I am falling in love with him. Do you think this is too soon? I am not normally one to believe that a woman should tell a man these feelings first, but I just can't help how I feel. I know that he really likes me. Should I come out and say it, or wait till he tells me? I am so afraid that I would be rejected. What do you think? Since it's only been 2 months, you should be prepared that if you say it, that he might not say it back. It doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't have strong feelings for you, but just that for most people it takes way more than 2 months to actually love someone. Are you two exclusive yet? Personally if I were you I'd wait for the guy to say it first becuase I am traditional like that. But then again you should also do what feels right. Like for me I always told myself that I'd never initiate kissing a guy but well I ended up initiating the kiss for my current bf anyway and it was only on the second date when I did it! I think you should wait it a bit just to make sure you two are on the same page before you say the L word. You said he really likes you, but love is MUCH stronger than like.
SunniDayz Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 Follow your heart. If you feel you want to say I Love You, I would. Just remember the difference between saying I Love You and I am IN Love with you. That takes time. From one teacher to another, hugs and best wishes. What grade do you teach?? I am 1st!
Miyamoto Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 A man should always say it first, for many reasons. I could detail those reasons, but you know them already. I know there's a lot of romantic advice going on here, but as a woman, you should instinctively know the cold, hard reality of relationships and emotions. You wouldn't have asked the question if there wasn't a problem. You would have just said it. Hold out as long as you can.
renee_1977 Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 A man should always say it first, for many reasons. I could detail those reasons, but you know them already. I know there's a lot of romantic advice going on here, but as a woman, you should instinctively know the cold, hard reality of relationships and emotions. You wouldn't have asked the question if there wasn't a problem. You would have just said it. Hold out as long as you can. I'm curious what the reasons are in your opinion???
Star Gazer Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 A man should always say it first, for many reasons. I could detail those reasons, but you know them already. Well, not all of us know them. So please, enlighten us.
Miyamoto Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 TOP 3 REASONS MEN SHOULD SAY I LOVE YOU FIRST 1. Women leave relationships less easily than men. If a man says ILU first, the relationship has more chance of being long term. 2. Men should lead at every overt point in the seduction. If he doesn't, it means he's not ready for that point in the seduction. 3. Women are hard wired for commitment (monogamy); men are hardwired for promiscuity. Let the man tell you he's ready for monogamy first before you commit. Comments? Questions? This is fun.
themessenger Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 I think you should wait at least 4 more months before even thinking about telling him that.
Lovelybird Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 TOP 3 REASONS MEN SHOULD SAY I LOVE YOU FIRST 1. Women leave relationships less easily than men. If a man says ILU first, the relationship has more chance of being long term. 2. Men should lead at every overt point in the seduction. If he doesn't, it means he's not ready for that point in the seduction. 3. Women are hard wired for commitment (monogamy); men are hardwired for promiscuity. Let the man tell you he's ready for monogamy first before you commit. Comments? Questions? This is fun. true.......... so how about shy men? and man who say I love you too quickly?
Mahatma Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 For me, If a girl was to tell me that she loved me 2 months in, it would make me a little nervous. Just like a girlfriend in highschool who plans a wedding with me. You may feel a "lovey" feeling towards him, and I'm sure he feels the same way and likes you too. Just be very careful here. I am only 18 and telling you it's going too quick.
Jilly Bean Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 TOP 3 REASONS MEN SHOULD SAY I LOVE YOU FIRST 1. Women leave relationships less easily than men. If a man says ILU first, the relationship has more chance of being long term. 2. Men should lead at every overt point in the seduction. If he doesn't, it means he's not ready for that point in the seduction. 3. Women are hard wired for commitment (monogamy); men are hardwired for promiscuity. Let the man tell you he's ready for monogamy first before you commit. Comments? Questions? This is fun. Word. Totally wait for him to say it first...
oppath Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 You wait until you are confident that saying it will be received with warmth -- not necessarily I love you in return -- but with a declaration that he wants the relationship to move forward and that he wants a long term relationship with you. I've seen many relationships end because "it's been 4 months and he has not said I love you yet" and friends say "if he has not said it by now, he never will." The word LOVE means different things to different men (and women) and is not necessarily the same thing as that falling in love feeling. To me, LOVE means that no matter what happens in my life -- a family members death, a sudden change in career that would cause me to move away, basically anything stressful and that could require a change or me to move -- that I'd still want the relationship to continue. For example: I would not say I love you unless, if I knew there was a chance that I'd have to temporarily move for work for four months, that I'd want to continue the relationship long distance and was very committed to that. It's best to wait to say it until you feel that your relationship could survive a big challenge. It is not a black and white ordeal, however, as you can always say things like "I am so glad I met you" and "I think about you often" and "I really like you FIRST and LAST NAME." There are numerous ways to tell him that you are growing more attached and are endeared to him before saying "I love you."
Ebeleptik38 Posted February 27, 2008 Posted February 27, 2008 TOP 3 REASONS MEN SHOULD SAY I LOVE YOU FIRST 1. Women leave relationships less easily than men. If a man says ILU first, the relationship has more chance of being long term. 2. Men should lead at every overt point in the seduction. If he doesn't, it means he's not ready for that point in the seduction. 3. Women are hard wired for commitment (monogamy); men are hardwired for promiscuity. Let the man tell you he's ready for monogamy first before you commit. Comments? Questions? This is fun. I completely disagree with your #3.... yeah. That's all
lovesickgurl Posted February 27, 2008 Posted February 27, 2008 I have often wondered when the appropriate time is to say "I love you" and who should say it first. I have always let the guy be the one to say it first, and then felt confident that he meant it.
Meaplus3 Posted February 27, 2008 Posted February 27, 2008 I will give you a little background of my relationship before asking the question. I have been seeing this guy for 2 months. I met him at work (I am a teacher). He is 33 and I am 26. Things are going well between us and we seem to see eye-to-eye on many things. The thing is that I know I am falling in love with him. Do you think this is too soon? I am not normally one to believe that a woman should tell a man these feelings first, but I just can't help how I feel. I know that he really likes me. Should I come out and say it, or wait till he tells me? I am so afraid that I would be rejected. What do you think? Hi, I think if you really feel it and mean it then why not say it! Yes, there is the chance that he might not say it back.. however if you are ok with that..I would go ahead and tell him.. just my Opinion. Good luck. AP:)
rose11 Posted February 28, 2008 Posted February 28, 2008 I actually was looking to post a similar thread. I am interested in what guys think on this subject as well. Men and Women think differently. I have the same questions as you with my releationship. We have been dating almost 4 months and sometimes I feel like he will never say it. I feel it though but as a women need him to actually say it. Men - need more of your advice on this one!!!!
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