sillymoo Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Hey guys, its a complicated story but here goes, i got dumped by a guy last year. And i humiliated myself by begging etc, i bumped him to him at Christmas and after that sent him loads of emails, asking to just part as friends, he ignored me. Anyway i realise he doesnt want me, and to be honest i dont either, however last week he phoned a mutual friend (more my friend then his) to tell her about a job in the paper! He knew she would tell me, by trying to be pally with my friend,and so the question i want to ask is why is he being deliberately nasty?
s_n_d Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Its still hard for ME after so many months...to understand why my ex is being deliberately mean to me, knowing that one of my aunts is terminally ill and Im more vulnerable than ever. I dont understand why he cant just shut up and put the drama between us on hold. I guess we will never know... Sometimes I just want him care even a little. I dont want us to be a couple right now but I want him to atleast offer to be there for me as a friend. Im sorry I dont have an answer for you.
Author sillymoo Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 I'm sorry to hear about your Aunt, this guy also sounds like a pratt. Perhaps they get off on the attention we give them, although he will never find out that he has hurt me again. xx
wizer Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 He's probabably bored, and wants to take a shot at you just to see what you will do when given a poke. Maybe he got used to all the attention you gave him and hopes you respond with an email. Best thing you can do in a situation where someone you don't care for is taking shots at you, is ignore them. Unless they are badmouthing you or doing something that you feel requires an answer, then do nothing. It's the best way to get back at them, because it's the last thing they expect or want.
Author sillymoo Posted February 19, 2008 Author Posted February 19, 2008 You are quite right, I already feel quite mortified over the amount of times i begged him back, and he must be even sadder then i though if he gets his thrills this way.
wizer Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 You are quite right, I already feel quite mortified over the amount of times i begged him back, and he must be even sadder then i though if he gets his thrills this way. Think of it this way. Yes, you were pathetic in the beginning...low self esteem, he probalby felt great and had the power thing going. But then you got tough, and he is wondering about you and trying to get a response. That pretty much erases all the stuff you did early on. Now you have a bit of control back.
Author sillymoo Posted February 19, 2008 Author Posted February 19, 2008 Yes, i believe back then i was utterly pathetic, as i actually belived i couldnt survive without him. But having control back of being me is great, although i must learn not to let him have any effect on me when he takes his little diggs. You truly are wise.
wizer Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 Also dont beat yourself up for the way you acted back then. It's understandable, you are stronger for it, and you have moved on for the most part. Some people never do.
Belkin Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 Hey, don't say that! Everyone moves on after some time! (They do, right?)
wizer Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 Hey, don't say that! Everyone moves on after some time! (They do, right?) Some people seem to never heal, never grow. They just wallow in it and end up eeking out a marginal life, or they bury themselves in superficial relationships that crash and burn.
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