Metronome Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 My husband and I have been apart for the last two months and I've filed for divorce. Unfortunately, my ex did not treat me or my son very well at the beginning of the new year and I had to seek serious legal council. While the balls are all in motion, my son is feeling safer, why do I miss this guy so much? There is not a day or a moment that I don't think about him. Why do I hurt so much? I can't sleep. I can't eat. I'm having a hard time focusing on work. While I know that this is better for my son, I just can't believe the pain that I feel. I have been divorced before but have never experienced the pain and remorse that I feel now. Any advice?
GRITS07 Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 You will feel this way for sometime. It's part of the grief process but the good new is you will heal. It took me some time, but I'm happier now than I have ever been. Hang in there - brighter days are ahead.
jeffrey_e Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 What you are feeling is a death of a marriage. Not that yours was so great, rather the death of your dream marriage. You entered this marriage with certain expectations of how your lives would be. You tried hard to guide things towards that general direction. Your efforts may have been twarted but the dream still remained. You"ve spent years in a relationship. Defined yourself as a wife and mother. Now its time for you to heal (Time will heal you if you let it). Then and even during you will start your new life. Learn about yourself. Be Good to yourelf. How you handle yourself will be the guiding light for your son to see and to learn from. He will know how to handle himself when he has a rough period in his life and we all have them. He will know to have faith because he saw how you went through it and no only survived but lived.You will feel empowered when all of this is done and will lead a happy life. Good luck to the both of you.
Author Metronome Posted February 19, 2008 Author Posted February 19, 2008 What you say is very true. I am having a very hard time but I must remember to be strong for my son. He is a wonderful child. I recently broke down in the grocery store and he came up to me and said "don't worry mom, I'll be your valentine"..........kids! Thanks for your support and kind words.
thek224 Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 What you are feeling is a death of a marriage. Not that yours was so great, rather the death of your dream marriage. You entered this marriage with certain expectations of how your lives would be. You tried hard to guide things towards that general direction. Your efforts may have been twarted but the dream still remained. You"ve spent years in a relationship. Defined yourself as a wife and mother. Now its time for you to heal (Time will heal you if you let it). Then and even during you will start your new life. Learn about yourself. Be Good to yourelf. How you handle yourself will be the guiding light for your son to see and to learn from. He will know how to handle himself when he has a rough period in his life and we all have them. He will know to have faith because he saw how you went through it and no only survived but lived.You will feel empowered when all of this is done and will lead a happy life. Good luck to the both of you. Jeffrey, Thanks for posting this. I know it was directed towards the OP, but what you said applies to me also. A tiny piece of hope will get me a long way today. Thanks.
sandflea Posted February 19, 2008 Posted February 19, 2008 What you say is very true. I am having a very hard time but I must remember to be strong for my son. He is a wonderful child. I recently broke down in the grocery store and he came up to me and said "don't worry mom, I'll be your valentine"..........kids! Thanks for your support and kind words. Your son sounds like quite the little man. Be glad that you have him, and try to take some relief and some courage in the fact that you're not alone, you're doing great - and time will make this better. You're showing incredible courage. You've done what's right for both of you - now give yourself permission to grieve, and to start to slowly move forward. All break ups suck. You'll be fine in time. Spring is coming! SF
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