Bubbles Posted June 30, 2003 Posted June 30, 2003 Hello All, Well, it's me Bubbles. Here is my problem. I have broken up with my ex-boyfriend for over 7 months almost 8 months. He is still trying to call me and get in touch with me. I really don't want him doing this anymore, I have tried on many occasions to make him understand that I do not want anymore contact - yet I don't want to hurt his feelings I know he is already hurt enough as it is. To give you some brief background....we were together for 7 years, and he was continually accusing me of cheating on him meanwhile he was the one doing the cheating. The straw that broke the camels back was last October. I had finally had enough, he accused me of sleeping with one of our mutual friends - I wasn't - that was it!!! I went with it!!! I told him "yes, I am and by the way I don't want to be in this relationship anymore!!!" So that was that, he moved out. Since then he has learned that I hadn't slept with anyone and was actually more faithful than he even realized. That brings me to date, what do I do? I can't be mean to him because really and truly he was my "Greatest Love" we just are not good together and I know that. I can't go back to this relationship - EVER. How do I relay this to him? Bubbles
d1410 Posted June 30, 2003 Posted June 30, 2003 I can kinda relate to what you're feeling. I was in a 10 -yr relationshio with my "true" love (it's been 6 yrs since we broke it off). He was always jealous of other guys and accused me of staring at other men all the time. Obviously he had insecurity issues because I only loved him and never cheated in any way. but our relationship was good otherwise and these accusations seem to go away. He ended up cheating on me and couldn't even face up to it until a long time after that. I'm over him now and we don't contact each other but I would suggest you be a bit more harsh next time he calls you. He needs to get it through his head that you're NOT going back to him. and, most importantly, you don't need this constant reminder of your relationship. So, be a bit of a bitch...he's the one that screwed up anyways. Don't be afraid to tell it like it is!! sometimes people need to hear the harsh words of reality. good luck. d1410
familiarityrules Posted July 1, 2003 Posted July 1, 2003 You say: "Please respect my wishes, you are making me angry with you. You don't want me to hate you do you?" If at this point he persists, you say, "please don't make me file a restraining order against you." Most people, who care about you, would hat ethe thought of you thinking badly of them. Ya gotta be tough girl. I am a 28 year old guy and have had my share of ex's torturing me in one way or another. Sometimes you just need to stand up and do or say what needs to be done. Basically these people are trying to hold you back and keep you from moving forward with your life. this is generally because they are unable to move forward with thiers, misery loves company. You need to decide who's happiness is more important, yours or his. He obviously doesn't care about yours or he would respect your wishes. Just my two cents.
Author Bubbles Posted July 2, 2003 Author Posted July 2, 2003 Well..... You're not going to beleive this.....he followed me around all week-end and into Monday and Tuesday. He obviously has nothing better to do with his time! Holy macaroni! I have been advised that if I do say anything to him he will think that he has won my attention....and I don't want him thinking that. It was suggested to me that I just ignore him. Jeepers.....exactly how much crap do I have to put up with? I have already put up with 7 long years of crap and it is still going on. Should I maybe start hanging out with one guy so maybe he gets the idea? Or I was thinking the next time he "shows-up" where I am I should just grab the nearest male and lay a big huge smoochie on him! What do you think? Bubbles
d1410 Posted July 2, 2003 Posted July 2, 2003 I think you should tell him to please leave you alone, otherwise you'll get a restraining order against him. don't show him that you are upset, but calmly tell him you don't want to see his face or hear his voice again. Be direct!! People can be persistent, especially where matters of the heart are concerned. You don't need this crap, as you put it. damn right! Get him out of your life, once and for all. If you continue to ignore him, he might think it's part of a game or something. good luck, d1410
Recommended Posts