FlyByNite Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Full backstory is under '10 year relationship over', but briefly, I had been with my ex for ten years, living together for four, and he walked out just over three weeks ago after we had spent the morning buying valentines and birthday presents - no argument, nothing, just 'things don't feel right'. He moved out straight away and now has rented somewhere else but still hasn't taken all of his stuff - he keeps only collecting a few things each time - I just wish he would take it all and leave me alone as it really hurts each time he comes by. We have to be in contact because of this, and because I am buying him out of our house - this is projected to take another month at least. Each time he comes by I try to be nice and ask him how things are, and act normally - no mention of the relationship or anything; and at first he was fine. Recently though he has been acting as though he's really upset and would barely even look at me the last time - which was Thursday night, Valentines day, (though he sent me a text afterwards apologising). I need to stress that there has been no animosity at all from either of us. He's also sent me texts saying 'thanks for being great to me' and 'i'm sorry this has ended up this way' etc If he wanted to leave, why is he taking so long to take his stuff (and when he does come, only taking a couple of things)? Why is he texting and emailing me things which have nothing to do with sorting out the house? It's as if he's more upset now because I don't appear to be (outwardly to him) - why would that be? Is it just pride and that he wanted me to beg him to come back every time? I thought I was coping OK until this weekend, but I just feel so desperately alone at the moment and all of this is really confusing me. I want to write to him to tell him how I feel and how I think things went wrong, but I know that this wouldn't get me anywhere or make me feel any better so am resisting. Please help.
Cool Chick Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 If I were you I would pack ALL of his stuff up and have it sitting by the door for him the next time he drops by. Tack a little note to it saying that if he doesn't take it it'll be collected by the garbage collectors next time they come by. Don't drag it out for yourself....it doesn't make it any better, honest. I've just been through it myself. Cool Chick
Author FlyByNite Posted February 18, 2008 Author Posted February 18, 2008 Thanks Cool Chick. I wish I could do what you suggest - but I'm buying out his share in our house, and need him to be on side until that's gone through, so sadly leaving his stuff for the rubbish collectors, though tempting, could back fire on me badly. Also, as I'm in the UK - my next rubbish collection isn't for another two weeks (!), and I was hoping that he would have picked stuff up by then. He literally only has one bag of stuff left and a cabinet (he only picked up a couple of pictures on Thursday) and has said last night that he will get the bag of stuff tomorrow when I'm at work (he still has a key) and the cabinet when he can find someone to help him move it (we both have two seater cars so can't transport it ourselves). I suppose what I am looking for is guidance as to why he is behaving like this. He sent me another email a minute ago saying the same as last night - so no reason to contact again, but he still did. What is going on?
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